part 10:
Aftermath and New Things
by Matthew Atanian
©1999 by Matthew Atanian
Aftermath and New Things
by Matthew Atanian
©1999 by Matthew Atanian
It was a week after the night that the group of four boys had tried, and sadly failed, to uncover the plot behind the election of their new Senior Patrol Leader. They were all at the Church in the Acres again. Mike, Aaron, and the Bills. Matt Atanian was with them.
Days before, they had told Matt what had happened at the church that night, how they had failed to find evidence of the adult conspiracy. Still, they pledged not to give up hope.
All the scouts of Troop 192 were arriving, some by bike, some getting dropped off by parents eager to have just an hour and a half of peace and quiet.
"Well," Mike was saying, "No point in worrying ourselves sick over it, eh?"
"Don't worry, we'll think of something," Aaron said.
Jon Becker arrived, and they waved as he walked past them towards the church. He was waving his copy of Boy's Life at them, which he had received in the mail earlier that day. "Your trip's in here!" he enthusiastically shouted at them, although whether he was shouting to be herd over the distance, or if due to the headphones he was wearing he thought he was talking a normal volume, no one knew.
They were about to join Jon entering the building when they noticed someone was standing behind them, off to the side. The five of them turned.
It was the new kid, Kenny Pendrell.
"Oh, hey, Kenny," Matt said in greeting. "How are you?"
Kenny didn't say anything at first, but then, in that quiet voice of his he asked them, "So have you guys ever heard of a place called Jusenkyo?"
Two minutes later, the five of them had not moved a millimetre from the shocked expressions that had fallen upon their faces immediately after Kenny had poised his question. "Um, hello?" Kenny asked quietly. He waved his hand before their faces to no response at all. "Hello?" he said again, louder this time, which was still rather quiet.
Finely, it was Mike who responded. "Ju... Jusenkyo? What's that?"
Kenny pulled off the backpack he was wearing slung over one shoulder, an pulled from it the same issue of Boy's Life that Becker had been waving at them. "There's an article in here that is a travel log of five people who took a trip to China," Kenny explained, "you five." His tone had suddenly become very sure and confident, even approaching a normal person's volume. "The details of your trip are gone into quite well, until things get rather sketchy around six days into a hike taken through the Chinese wilderness, around the time you reached the Bayankala Mountain Range in the Qinghai Province.
"This book," Kenny continued, pulling a rather ancient looking tome from his backpack, "talks about a legendary training ground of..." Kenny flipped the book open, turned to a certain page, and consulted it. The others were startled to see that the worn pages were covered with Chinese writing, which Kenny seemed to be reading with only a little difficulty. "...cursed springs. Jusenkyo. 'He who dares train at this place will know not the life of a normal man for the rest of his days. He shall know...' um... 'a life of constant change,' I think it says. It then continues on about the unfortunate who trained there becoming beasts with the souls of men. What does it all mean?"
During the last two paragraphs, Mike had returned to his state of shock. However, Aaron had managed his way out of his. "Why do you have a big old book written in Chinese?"
Kenny's voice regained its usual timidity. "I like to know things," he said simply.
Meanwhile, the rest had managed to shake off their shock, including Mike with his second bout. Matt was looking off in the direction of a car that was pulling into the parking lot. The Porter's car. "Maybe we can show Kenny the answer to his question," Matt said. "After all, Matty needs to talk with Sarah."
Matty Hayes walked back out of the Church, pausing briefly to toss into the trash the remainder of the paper towels she had dried herself with. She went over to Sarah Porter's car just as the Girl Scout leader was getting out.
Kirstin and Nicole were getting out from the back seat. "Hi, Matty," Kirstin said brightly.
"Hi, Kirstin," Matty responded. As the twins headed into the church, Matty turned to the other Porter sister. "Hi, you're Sarah, right? Matty. Matty Hayes." She offered her hand, and Sarah took it. "We met that night a couple of weeks ago?"
Sarah smiled. "Ah, yes, I remember. You were in a hurry not to get caught in the rain, and I was in a pissy mood, myself. Seems neither of us were at our best, that night."
Matty laughed lightly. "That's for sure. That's why I thought I'd come over and re-introduce myself."
"Good idea. I'd hate for you to think I was such a bitch all the time."
"I could never think that. What had you in such a mood, anyways? If you don't mind my asking."
"Some jerk who's with the Boy Scouts. Matt something or other. Caught the pervert looking at me when he shouldn't have been at your Boy Scout camp, and it seems he's been after me ever since."
"Oh," Matty said, with slight disappointment. "You know, I'd hardly qualify saying hi to you a couple of times as 'after you ever since'."
Sarah looked at Matty. "How do you know about it?"
"Um... Well, Matt and I are kind of close."
"Close?"
"Yeah. Like... um... almost like siblings. Anyways, we often share what's on our minds. I think he likes you."
Sarah's mood was darkening. "Well, you can tell Mr. Testosterone that the feeling's not mutual."
Things were definitely not going the way that Matty had hoped. "Um... you wan'na change the subject? I get the impression you'd rather not talk about what we just were."
The frown disappeared from Sarah face. "You're quite perceptive, Matty Hayes."
"Thanks, I think..."
Meanwhile, Troop 192 had gathered upstairs in Walker Hall. Mike, Aaron, the Bills, and Kenny were the last to assemble, walking out of the Kitchen. "That was... cool," Kenny said in soft excitement.
Justy Yung stepped up onto the small stage in the front of the hall, towering over the rest of the youth as he did so. Proctor stood on the second step up to the stage, below Justy but above everyone else. Both had new Troop Position patched proudly sewn onto their uniforms.
Justy took a deep breath and looked out over the happy chaos of the Troop as it's members socialized before the meeting began. (Of course, to some of the younger members, "socialize" had a rather odd meaning...) He let out the breath, took in another one, and then...
"ALL RIGHT! THIS IS YOUR OMNIPOTANT YET BENEVOLANT MASTER!!! FALL IN, SIGNS UP, AND SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!"
Proctor looked up at Justy. "Well done, Captain, if I may say so."
"You may," Justy responded. He looked out at the Troop which, stunned, had actually complied. He laughed.
He laughed some more.
And a little more.
"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA ha ha HA HA HAHAHahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
And, just to try something different, at the end he simply chuckled a bit.
"I thought 'Signs Up' was a call for silence," Bill whispered to Hughes as Justy was into his fourth consecutive minute of chuckling.
Justy immediately stopped and shot Bill a nasty look. "Silence, fool! That does not apply to me! I am the Leader! You are merely my insignificant followers, and it is you who must do as I say!"
And he topped this off by laughing a bit more.
Finely, much to most everyone's relief, he stopped.
"There's been a little change in the Troop," Justy said. "It seems that our former Scoutmaster, Mr. Bill Pruyne, won't be with us any longer."
Mike, Aaron, and the Bills shot each other looks. Hughes raised his hand,
"Yes?" Justy said. "Peon #3, you have a question?"
"Why not?"
"Well, from what I hear, his dog died, he came down with the flu, all of his relatives have come over for an extended visit, he now has to work Wednesday nights, and he's also busy studying lambada. He sends his heartfelt regret that he can't be with us any longer and hopes that there will come a day when he will be able to rejoin us.
"Now. Announcement #2. Your new Scoutmaster, Mr. William Schmuler!"
A tired, middle aged man in a poorly assembled uniform shirt and jeans (not Scout pants!) waved to the group. "Hi. I'm happy to be here. Justy and I have put together some meetings that I think you'll all enjoy. Also, this is my son, Will." He indicated a strange looking small child. "He's joining the Troop."
The younger Will dropped to the floor and had what appeared to be a seizure, complete with frothing mouth, but something made it clear that he was doing this intentionally. Perhaps it was the stupid grin that people having seizures probably wouldn't normally have on their face.
"At least he's Will, and not Bill," Bill said to Hughes. "It's confusing enough with just the two of us."
Justy glanced at Bill harshly. "Peon #7, you will be silent! Now, announcement #3! New patrols! I'm going to put you all in new patrols, and even name them for you! And you will like it!"
Justy assembled the patrols, and soon the first two were complete. Mike, Aaron, and the Bills were happy with many of the people that they had not been stuck with.
"Let's see..." Justy said. "The last patrol shall be... the Garden Snakes! Harmless little snakes slithering around on your bellies that I can step on if you get in my way!" He laughed a bit, but thankfully, as he wasn't done speaking yet, the laugh was brief.
"The members of this patrol shall be... Mike Quadrozzi, Aaron Abdowmassy, Bill Gelinas, Bill Hughes, Jon Becker, Matthew Swett, and Will Schmuler! I do believe that's everyone!"
Kenny timidly raised a hand.
Justy didn't notice. He had resumed his laughter.
"Yo, Justy," Aaron said, "You forgot someone!"
Justy continued his laughter unabated.
"Justy! Hello!" Aaron shouted.
He just laughed some more.
Aaron turned to Mike. Mike nodded. Together, they shouted, "Hey, Justy!"
He stopped laughing. He blinked. He frowned. "You will address me as 'Mr. Senior Patrol Leader,' or as 'SPL Yung.' What do you want?"
Mike and Aaron pointed at Kenny, his hand still up in the air.
"Yes? Peon #17? You have a question?"
"You didn't put me in a patrol," Kenny said.
Justy frowned at the boy. "Yes, I did," he lied. "You just didn't pay attention! You're with the... um... Garden Snakes."
"So," Sarah asked, "Why are you with the Boy Scouts?"
"I dun'no," Matty said. "I think I signed up as an Assistant Scoutmaster just to be with friends who were with the troop. Some of the boys... and Matt."
Sarah frowned slightly, but briefly.
"How 'bout you?" Matty quickly said.
"Well, you know, I was a girl in the program, and became a leader to be with my sisters."
"You three seem very close," Matty commented.
"Well," Sarah responded listlessly, we're all that each other has."
"You've got me," Matty said. A moment later, she realized she had spoken aloud.
Fortunately, Sarah smiled. "I think I'd like that. I don't have any close friends at work, and all of the other leaders in my Troop are forty or fifty years old. It'd be nice to socialize with a woman my own age."
Matty smiled awkwardly. "Um, yeah. It would be..."
The Garden Snake patrol was meeting at a table set up in one corner of the hall. Mike, Aaron, and the Bills were busy mentally sizing up their new patrol.
Jon Becker they were comfortable with. They had known him for some time and knew him to be reliable, if they could ever get him out of the headphones.
Kenny, of course, they were sure off. Something about him made them accept him easily, which didn't often happen when new members joined the troop. Obviously they trusted him, else they wouldn't have shared with him the truth about what had happened in China.
Matthew Swett. They thought he'd be okay. He had been with the troop a few years now, and for most of that time he had just been another of the ones who had run around causing chaos and headaches, but lately he had been changing, channelling his energy away from annoyance and into a healthy eccentric strangeness. In any case, Mike, Aaron, and the Bills had not too long ago begun to accept Matt as a proper member of the Troop rather then one of the annoying ones. As another Matt, Matt Atanian, had said to him not too long ago, "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
Then there was the new kid. Will Schmuler. Judging by his performance earlier, it was clear which category of troop member he fell into. Annoying. Which he was demonstrating quite clearly right now.
His demonstration fell along the lines of trying to shove Mike Quadrozzi's entire handbook up his own nose whilst making a noise that was something of a cross between an elephant and a blue jay.
The others did their best to ignore him, except for Mike who wanted his handbook back. Finely, in frustration, Mike resorted to a move pioneered by the legendary John Cleese in Faulty Towers. A move they'd named after its frequent recipient. Mike slapped Will in the back of the head and said sharply, "Manuel!" He then grabbed his handbook back, triumphant.
For now.
Once the commotion was settled, business could begin. "First we should decide on a Patrol Leader," Aaron suggested.
"How 'bout you?" Hughes asked Aaron.
"I had enough of that game back when I was SPL," Aaron responded.
"Bill?" Hughes then suggested.
"Ditto," Bill said.
"I'll do it!" Will said as he stood up, spun around, and made siren noises.
"Okay," Swett said. "All those in favour of Mr. Human Cartoon here, say aye."
Predictably, only Will said, "Aye!" He then made fart noises as he ran around the table backwards.
Kenny opened his mouth as if to speak. He then shut it again, and looked down at the table. This was not unnoticed by Mike, who said, "What is it, Kenny?"
"I liked Mike when he ran for SPL," Kenny said. "What about him?"
Mike smiled. "Hey, someone liked me!"
"Find one person who actually did vote for Justy, and I'll give you twenty bucks," Aaron responded.
"Can we really have Ramen Noodle Soup on all the camping trips?" Kenny asked.
"Yes, Kenny. If it can't be the official food of the whole troop, it will at least be the official food of this patrol."
"I think it's settled then, Squid," Aaron said. "You're out Patrol Leader."
Will stopped the farting noises and began to horribly sing, "Ramen Soup!!" at the top of his lungs.
Matt came up behind Will and grabbed his shoulders, stopping his mad reverse jaunt. "Who the hell is this?"
"Oh, hi, Matt," everyone said, except for Kenny, who called him, "Mr. Atanian," and Will, who said, "Hey, Mr. Nostril Earlobe Verb!"
"That's Will. He's the new Scoutmaster's son, and Justy stuck him in our patrol," Bill explained.
Matt pulled up a chair and tugged at his wet colour a bit. "There's got to be an easier way to go about this," he muttered to himself. To the others, he said, "So what's going on?"
They summed up the situation at present. "Ah," Matt said.
"So now we need an Assistant Patrol Leader," Mike said. "Any takers?"
Around the same time that Becker tugged one of the speakers away from his ear slightly and said, "I'll do it," Matt Swett also volunteered.
"Vote?" Aaron suggested.
"Okay," Mike quipped. Kenny offered some paper from his notebook, and Mike passed out a small piece to each of them. All of the youth at the table placed a vote, except for Mike himself. He collected the ballets in his hat, which was one of the two things he ever took it off for, the other being eating in the dining hall.
"Okay," Mike said, counting the votes. "There's three for Becker, three for Matt Swett, and... one for Mr. Snuffaluffagas?" He looked at Will. "Somehow I don't think Mr. Snuffaluffagas is going to win," he said, tearing up the ballot. "Okay, we'll leave it up to a coin toss, and I differ to our guest Scoutmaster-type person, Matt."
Matt rummaged through his pockets and produced a Susan B. Anthony dollar. "Heads, Matt, tales Becker." He flipped. He looked at the coin.
"Well?" the others prodded.
Matt's mouth twitched, so that he was not quite smiling, but his expression wasn't quite neutral either.
"Well?" the others pleaded.
"Well," Matt said, "you can't go wrong with a Matt."
Swett turned to Becker. "Sorry, guy," he said.
"WHAT?" Becker responded, his headphones back in place. "DID I GET IT?"
"It's kind of odd," Bill suddenly pondered aloud. "Why would Justy have put us all together? Wouldn't he rather divide and conquer?"
"Maybe he's not smart enough for that," Hughes remarked.
"Maybe," Matt responded, not convinced. He tugged at his collar again. "Or maybe he believes in having all of his enemies in one place, and keeping them conveniently out of the way."
An ominous air settled over the table, despite Will's sudden attempts to imitate some kind of half horse - half seagull creature. Finely, the other youth at the table sighed a collective, "Nah..."
But Matt Atanian wasn't convinced...
A week later, ominous thoughts were still on Matt's mind as he made his way home from work. He worked at CVS, a large chain of drug stores that were all over New England and only God and Tom Ryan (the president of CVS) knew where else. Matt didn't concern himself with that. He concerned himself only with the store he worked at.
After being there for so long that it seemed forever, Matt was still on the lowest rung of the latter. He had finely gotten full time benefits, which was something of a plus... but he wasn't planning on staying there forever. Unfortunately for Matt, like most of the rest of his life at present, while he wanted change he wasn't doing much about it.
He stopped at Burger King on the way home, as he usually did. The man behind the counter handed Matt a cheeseburger, plain with ketchup, before Matt could even say hi. Matt handed him a dollar in return and began his walk home, which usually took about twenty minutes.
Just after he finished his 'burger (he usually finished in front of Liberty Auto Wash and made use of their trash barrels, and today was no exception), one of those sudden rainstorms that appeared without warning whenever the plot demanded it began. Matt silently cursed, thankful that at least that he had finished his 'burger first. A moment later, the water began to seep through the trench coat and fedora that Matt almost always wore, whatever the weather, even in the hottest days of summer and the coldest days of winter. (The only time he usually didn't wear them was whilst in his Scout Uniform, and even then, occasionally.)
Matty continued walking down Boston Road, when she looked up and to her surprise noticed someone familiar walking in front of her. Unsure what to say or do, Matty tried not to be noticed, but that was something difficult to do in a trench coat.
"Matty?" Sarah said. "That you?" Sarah was unprepared for the rain, and was holding the remains of a newspaper over her head. Her hair was wetted down to her scalp, and the T-shirt and jeans she wore were sticking to her skin in rather interesting places.
Matty swallowed. She felt a bit warm. One of the advantages, she pondered, to being a woman is that it's harder for others to tell when you are... ahem... "excited." She was grateful that Sarah's T-shirt wasn't white, or she mightn't be able to remain conscious.
"Um... yeah." Matty responded at last. She tried not to look at Sarah too much, at least not parts of her other then her face.
"I must look awful soaked like this," Sarah continued as she came to a halt beside Matty, who had also stopped walking.
"Not... not really," was all Matty could say. I must sound like a total idiot!
"Where you headed?" Sarah asked.
"Home," Matty continued. "It's about fifteen minutes from here."
Sarah smiled. "My place is closer then that," she said. "Come on over and dry off?"
Immediately, Matty's brain was filled with a cacophony of voices shouting, No! Don't do it! Don't be a fool! It's too dangerous! and, inexplicably, Penguin!!! Matty thought of penguins for a moment before deciding to politely beg off. "Sure, thanks," she said. In her head, a million penguins suddenly attacked her for being so stupid.
Sarah let Matty in before walking in herself. It was a small, run down apartment on a street off a street off Boston Road. As she closed the door behind herself, Sarah glanced at her watch and commented, "Nicole and Kirstin probably aren't home from school yet."
Matty nodded dumbly. Sarah walked over to a closet and took out a couple of towels, handing one to Matty. Matty accepted it and nodded a quiet thank you.
Sarah walked into what Matty correctly guessed was her bedroom and began drying off her hair. Matty stood in the bedroom's doorway, afraid to enter. She took of her hat and, still holding on to it, began drying her hair, too.
"Make yourself at home," Sarah said. "It's not much, but..." She walked over to an answering machine, which was blinking, and pressed the play button. Matty was alarmed to see that, after Sarah had done this, she pealed off her T-shirt, leaving only a bra between... between... well, you know... Um... ahem...
Matty's jaw hung open in astonishment, pleasure, and terror all rolled into one. Miraculously, she managed to regain her composure, at least externally, before Sarah could notice.
After a couple false starts, Matty spoke. "Oh, drat, look at the time." She cleared her throat. "I... I have to get going..."
Sarah wasn't listening. She was instead listening to a message on the answering machine.
"Hey, Sarah, baby. How 'bout you and me give it another go, huh?" came from the machine in a voice that was dripping with conceit and self-importance. "I'm still willing to take you back, but this offer may not last long..."
The message stopped abruptly, as Sarah had suddenly ripped the machine away from the wall. She didn't damage it, but she did pull the plug from the socket. "That bastard!!!" she shouted, seemingly oblivious for a moment that Matty was still in the doorway.
The obliviousness did not last long. She suddenly turned to Matty and grabbed both her arms, a frighteningly cheerful look on her face. "Hey, this Sunday night, let's go out. You and me. A girl’s night out. Huh?"
"Um... sure," was all Matty could say.
"Alright, it's a date then," Sarah responded.
Matty began to feel faint, having an almost topless Sarah so close to her. She was desperate for escape. "I really must be going."
"Oh, sure," Sarah said. She hastily scribbled her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Matty. "Give me a call, soon."
And with that, Matty was back out in the rain, the phone number in a pocket where the water would have a hard time reaching it.
Matty stood on the steps outside Sarah's apartment. It's a date... streamed through her consciousness for a moment. What have I gotten myself into?! The penguins returned with reinforcements.
That evening, Matt arrived unceremoniously at the Church in the Acres. Already there was the group of scouts that had become known of by some of the other Adults as his amoebas, although Matt always protested this name, on the grounds that he thought of them as equals, not as mindless followers. Nor did he consider himself their leader (except in the sense that he was an Assistant Scoutmaster), more he thought of them as partners.
This didn't stop the other adult leaders in the Troop from finding humour at their expense.
The "Amoebas" were, of course, most of the members of the Garden Snake Patrol: Aaron Abdowmassy, Mike Quadrozzi, Billy Gelinas, Bill Hughes, and the newest member of the group, young Kenneth Pendrell; none of whom were single-celled organisms. Also loitering near by was part-time amoeba Jon Becker, who was presently off in his own headphone-supplied world. One of them was missing; Matt Swett was with the Cub Scouts, as he often helped them out a bit before his own meeting began.
The rain had stopped a few hours ago, and the sky had cleared up. The sun was very low in the sky, causing the still-wet grass off in the field to seem to glow slightly. Many of the trees on the outskirts of the field were barren, except for the few brave souls still clinging to their brown, withering leaves. It was a typical late autumn evening.
"Hi, Everybody!" Matt intoned.
"Hi, Matt!" the group intoned.
Kenny looked up from his book, A Tale of Two Cities, and added his slightly belated greeting.
Becker continued to be off God-knows-where.
The group was approached by Kirstin Porter, who came to a stop standing beside Aaron. "Hi," she cheerfully said. "How's everything?"
Everyone gave assorted answers to her question, except of course for Becker. Everyone began to wish that he'd take the headphones off or just go away, as in his present state he was being quite distracting.
"So, um," Matt cautiously said, "is your sister here? Not Nicole, the other one."
"Yes," Kirstin answered, "but she's in quite the typical mood, alas. Seems she got a call from her ex-slave master, er, boyfriend."
"So that's who that was," Matt said, thinking aloud.
"Hmm?" Kirstin asked.
"Oh, um," Matt said, "just that she seemed very upset with the answering machine..." he noncommittally replied.
"Were you over at her house or something?" Mike inquired.
Becker shouted, "WHAT?"
The others ignored Becker.
"Um, I guess," Matt replied.
"WHAT?" Becker asked.
Hughes suddenly said something random in German. The others paid him as much attention as they paid Becker.
"And?"
"Well, it looks like she and I are going out Sunday night," Matt said, trailing off in the end as if there was more left unsaid.
"Matt, way to go!" Aaron said, although he thought there was probably a catch.
Kirstin smiled a warm smile. "It's about time she loosened up," she commented.
"What's the catch?" Bill Gelinas asked.
Aaron, Mike, and Kirstin gave Bill a dirty look. "WHAT?" Becker shouted. "Mein Klein Führer!" Hughes randomly commented as Justy walked by, just out of earshot.
Matt finely got around to answering Bill's question. "Well, it's not exactly a romantic date, or anything," he said slowly, prolonging the inevitable. "It's more a sort-of as-friends thing. It's actually sort of..." He coughed suddenly. "A girl’s night out."
Mike, Aaron, Kirstin, and the Bills took this in without one bit of shock. They were sort of expecting it. They would have been surprised if it was a romantic date.
"WHAT?" Becker yelled.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to Kirstin. She took Matt aside, where the others couldn't hear, and asked Matt one question that put him into complete and total shock.
"What are you going to wear?"
In the distance, Becker shouted, "WHAT?" The one tiny part of Matt's mind that wasn't stunned was filled with a mental image of Becker meeting some certain flightless Antarctic water foul.
Days before, they had told Matt what had happened at the church that night, how they had failed to find evidence of the adult conspiracy. Still, they pledged not to give up hope.
All the scouts of Troop 192 were arriving, some by bike, some getting dropped off by parents eager to have just an hour and a half of peace and quiet.
"Well," Mike was saying, "No point in worrying ourselves sick over it, eh?"
"Don't worry, we'll think of something," Aaron said.
Jon Becker arrived, and they waved as he walked past them towards the church. He was waving his copy of Boy's Life at them, which he had received in the mail earlier that day. "Your trip's in here!" he enthusiastically shouted at them, although whether he was shouting to be herd over the distance, or if due to the headphones he was wearing he thought he was talking a normal volume, no one knew.
They were about to join Jon entering the building when they noticed someone was standing behind them, off to the side. The five of them turned.
It was the new kid, Kenny Pendrell.
"Oh, hey, Kenny," Matt said in greeting. "How are you?"
Kenny didn't say anything at first, but then, in that quiet voice of his he asked them, "So have you guys ever heard of a place called Jusenkyo?"
Two minutes later, the five of them had not moved a millimetre from the shocked expressions that had fallen upon their faces immediately after Kenny had poised his question. "Um, hello?" Kenny asked quietly. He waved his hand before their faces to no response at all. "Hello?" he said again, louder this time, which was still rather quiet.
Finely, it was Mike who responded. "Ju... Jusenkyo? What's that?"
Kenny pulled off the backpack he was wearing slung over one shoulder, an pulled from it the same issue of Boy's Life that Becker had been waving at them. "There's an article in here that is a travel log of five people who took a trip to China," Kenny explained, "you five." His tone had suddenly become very sure and confident, even approaching a normal person's volume. "The details of your trip are gone into quite well, until things get rather sketchy around six days into a hike taken through the Chinese wilderness, around the time you reached the Bayankala Mountain Range in the Qinghai Province.
"This book," Kenny continued, pulling a rather ancient looking tome from his backpack, "talks about a legendary training ground of..." Kenny flipped the book open, turned to a certain page, and consulted it. The others were startled to see that the worn pages were covered with Chinese writing, which Kenny seemed to be reading with only a little difficulty. "...cursed springs. Jusenkyo. 'He who dares train at this place will know not the life of a normal man for the rest of his days. He shall know...' um... 'a life of constant change,' I think it says. It then continues on about the unfortunate who trained there becoming beasts with the souls of men. What does it all mean?"
During the last two paragraphs, Mike had returned to his state of shock. However, Aaron had managed his way out of his. "Why do you have a big old book written in Chinese?"
Kenny's voice regained its usual timidity. "I like to know things," he said simply.
Meanwhile, the rest had managed to shake off their shock, including Mike with his second bout. Matt was looking off in the direction of a car that was pulling into the parking lot. The Porter's car. "Maybe we can show Kenny the answer to his question," Matt said. "After all, Matty needs to talk with Sarah."
Matty Hayes walked back out of the Church, pausing briefly to toss into the trash the remainder of the paper towels she had dried herself with. She went over to Sarah Porter's car just as the Girl Scout leader was getting out.
Kirstin and Nicole were getting out from the back seat. "Hi, Matty," Kirstin said brightly.
"Hi, Kirstin," Matty responded. As the twins headed into the church, Matty turned to the other Porter sister. "Hi, you're Sarah, right? Matty. Matty Hayes." She offered her hand, and Sarah took it. "We met that night a couple of weeks ago?"
Sarah smiled. "Ah, yes, I remember. You were in a hurry not to get caught in the rain, and I was in a pissy mood, myself. Seems neither of us were at our best, that night."
Matty laughed lightly. "That's for sure. That's why I thought I'd come over and re-introduce myself."
"Good idea. I'd hate for you to think I was such a bitch all the time."
"I could never think that. What had you in such a mood, anyways? If you don't mind my asking."
"Some jerk who's with the Boy Scouts. Matt something or other. Caught the pervert looking at me when he shouldn't have been at your Boy Scout camp, and it seems he's been after me ever since."
"Oh," Matty said, with slight disappointment. "You know, I'd hardly qualify saying hi to you a couple of times as 'after you ever since'."
Sarah looked at Matty. "How do you know about it?"
"Um... Well, Matt and I are kind of close."
"Close?"
"Yeah. Like... um... almost like siblings. Anyways, we often share what's on our minds. I think he likes you."
Sarah's mood was darkening. "Well, you can tell Mr. Testosterone that the feeling's not mutual."
Things were definitely not going the way that Matty had hoped. "Um... you wan'na change the subject? I get the impression you'd rather not talk about what we just were."
The frown disappeared from Sarah face. "You're quite perceptive, Matty Hayes."
"Thanks, I think..."
Meanwhile, Troop 192 had gathered upstairs in Walker Hall. Mike, Aaron, the Bills, and Kenny were the last to assemble, walking out of the Kitchen. "That was... cool," Kenny said in soft excitement.
Justy Yung stepped up onto the small stage in the front of the hall, towering over the rest of the youth as he did so. Proctor stood on the second step up to the stage, below Justy but above everyone else. Both had new Troop Position patched proudly sewn onto their uniforms.
Justy took a deep breath and looked out over the happy chaos of the Troop as it's members socialized before the meeting began. (Of course, to some of the younger members, "socialize" had a rather odd meaning...) He let out the breath, took in another one, and then...
"ALL RIGHT! THIS IS YOUR OMNIPOTANT YET BENEVOLANT MASTER!!! FALL IN, SIGNS UP, AND SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!"
Proctor looked up at Justy. "Well done, Captain, if I may say so."
"You may," Justy responded. He looked out at the Troop which, stunned, had actually complied. He laughed.
He laughed some more.
And a little more.
"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA ha ha HA HA HAHAHahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
And, just to try something different, at the end he simply chuckled a bit.
"I thought 'Signs Up' was a call for silence," Bill whispered to Hughes as Justy was into his fourth consecutive minute of chuckling.
Justy immediately stopped and shot Bill a nasty look. "Silence, fool! That does not apply to me! I am the Leader! You are merely my insignificant followers, and it is you who must do as I say!"
And he topped this off by laughing a bit more.
Finely, much to most everyone's relief, he stopped.
"There's been a little change in the Troop," Justy said. "It seems that our former Scoutmaster, Mr. Bill Pruyne, won't be with us any longer."
Mike, Aaron, and the Bills shot each other looks. Hughes raised his hand,
"Yes?" Justy said. "Peon #3, you have a question?"
"Why not?"
"Well, from what I hear, his dog died, he came down with the flu, all of his relatives have come over for an extended visit, he now has to work Wednesday nights, and he's also busy studying lambada. He sends his heartfelt regret that he can't be with us any longer and hopes that there will come a day when he will be able to rejoin us.
"Now. Announcement #2. Your new Scoutmaster, Mr. William Schmuler!"
A tired, middle aged man in a poorly assembled uniform shirt and jeans (not Scout pants!) waved to the group. "Hi. I'm happy to be here. Justy and I have put together some meetings that I think you'll all enjoy. Also, this is my son, Will." He indicated a strange looking small child. "He's joining the Troop."
The younger Will dropped to the floor and had what appeared to be a seizure, complete with frothing mouth, but something made it clear that he was doing this intentionally. Perhaps it was the stupid grin that people having seizures probably wouldn't normally have on their face.
"At least he's Will, and not Bill," Bill said to Hughes. "It's confusing enough with just the two of us."
Justy glanced at Bill harshly. "Peon #7, you will be silent! Now, announcement #3! New patrols! I'm going to put you all in new patrols, and even name them for you! And you will like it!"
Justy assembled the patrols, and soon the first two were complete. Mike, Aaron, and the Bills were happy with many of the people that they had not been stuck with.
"Let's see..." Justy said. "The last patrol shall be... the Garden Snakes! Harmless little snakes slithering around on your bellies that I can step on if you get in my way!" He laughed a bit, but thankfully, as he wasn't done speaking yet, the laugh was brief.
"The members of this patrol shall be... Mike Quadrozzi, Aaron Abdowmassy, Bill Gelinas, Bill Hughes, Jon Becker, Matthew Swett, and Will Schmuler! I do believe that's everyone!"
Kenny timidly raised a hand.
Justy didn't notice. He had resumed his laughter.
"Yo, Justy," Aaron said, "You forgot someone!"
Justy continued his laughter unabated.
"Justy! Hello!" Aaron shouted.
He just laughed some more.
Aaron turned to Mike. Mike nodded. Together, they shouted, "Hey, Justy!"
He stopped laughing. He blinked. He frowned. "You will address me as 'Mr. Senior Patrol Leader,' or as 'SPL Yung.' What do you want?"
Mike and Aaron pointed at Kenny, his hand still up in the air.
"Yes? Peon #17? You have a question?"
"You didn't put me in a patrol," Kenny said.
Justy frowned at the boy. "Yes, I did," he lied. "You just didn't pay attention! You're with the... um... Garden Snakes."
"So," Sarah asked, "Why are you with the Boy Scouts?"
"I dun'no," Matty said. "I think I signed up as an Assistant Scoutmaster just to be with friends who were with the troop. Some of the boys... and Matt."
Sarah frowned slightly, but briefly.
"How 'bout you?" Matty quickly said.
"Well, you know, I was a girl in the program, and became a leader to be with my sisters."
"You three seem very close," Matty commented.
"Well," Sarah responded listlessly, we're all that each other has."
"You've got me," Matty said. A moment later, she realized she had spoken aloud.
Fortunately, Sarah smiled. "I think I'd like that. I don't have any close friends at work, and all of the other leaders in my Troop are forty or fifty years old. It'd be nice to socialize with a woman my own age."
Matty smiled awkwardly. "Um, yeah. It would be..."
The Garden Snake patrol was meeting at a table set up in one corner of the hall. Mike, Aaron, and the Bills were busy mentally sizing up their new patrol.
Jon Becker they were comfortable with. They had known him for some time and knew him to be reliable, if they could ever get him out of the headphones.
Kenny, of course, they were sure off. Something about him made them accept him easily, which didn't often happen when new members joined the troop. Obviously they trusted him, else they wouldn't have shared with him the truth about what had happened in China.
Matthew Swett. They thought he'd be okay. He had been with the troop a few years now, and for most of that time he had just been another of the ones who had run around causing chaos and headaches, but lately he had been changing, channelling his energy away from annoyance and into a healthy eccentric strangeness. In any case, Mike, Aaron, and the Bills had not too long ago begun to accept Matt as a proper member of the Troop rather then one of the annoying ones. As another Matt, Matt Atanian, had said to him not too long ago, "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
Then there was the new kid. Will Schmuler. Judging by his performance earlier, it was clear which category of troop member he fell into. Annoying. Which he was demonstrating quite clearly right now.
His demonstration fell along the lines of trying to shove Mike Quadrozzi's entire handbook up his own nose whilst making a noise that was something of a cross between an elephant and a blue jay.
The others did their best to ignore him, except for Mike who wanted his handbook back. Finely, in frustration, Mike resorted to a move pioneered by the legendary John Cleese in Faulty Towers. A move they'd named after its frequent recipient. Mike slapped Will in the back of the head and said sharply, "Manuel!" He then grabbed his handbook back, triumphant.
For now.
Once the commotion was settled, business could begin. "First we should decide on a Patrol Leader," Aaron suggested.
"How 'bout you?" Hughes asked Aaron.
"I had enough of that game back when I was SPL," Aaron responded.
"Bill?" Hughes then suggested.
"Ditto," Bill said.
"I'll do it!" Will said as he stood up, spun around, and made siren noises.
"Okay," Swett said. "All those in favour of Mr. Human Cartoon here, say aye."
Predictably, only Will said, "Aye!" He then made fart noises as he ran around the table backwards.
Kenny opened his mouth as if to speak. He then shut it again, and looked down at the table. This was not unnoticed by Mike, who said, "What is it, Kenny?"
"I liked Mike when he ran for SPL," Kenny said. "What about him?"
Mike smiled. "Hey, someone liked me!"
"Find one person who actually did vote for Justy, and I'll give you twenty bucks," Aaron responded.
"Can we really have Ramen Noodle Soup on all the camping trips?" Kenny asked.
"Yes, Kenny. If it can't be the official food of the whole troop, it will at least be the official food of this patrol."
"I think it's settled then, Squid," Aaron said. "You're out Patrol Leader."
Will stopped the farting noises and began to horribly sing, "Ramen Soup!!" at the top of his lungs.
Matt came up behind Will and grabbed his shoulders, stopping his mad reverse jaunt. "Who the hell is this?"
"Oh, hi, Matt," everyone said, except for Kenny, who called him, "Mr. Atanian," and Will, who said, "Hey, Mr. Nostril Earlobe Verb!"
"That's Will. He's the new Scoutmaster's son, and Justy stuck him in our patrol," Bill explained.
Matt pulled up a chair and tugged at his wet colour a bit. "There's got to be an easier way to go about this," he muttered to himself. To the others, he said, "So what's going on?"
They summed up the situation at present. "Ah," Matt said.
"So now we need an Assistant Patrol Leader," Mike said. "Any takers?"
Around the same time that Becker tugged one of the speakers away from his ear slightly and said, "I'll do it," Matt Swett also volunteered.
"Vote?" Aaron suggested.
"Okay," Mike quipped. Kenny offered some paper from his notebook, and Mike passed out a small piece to each of them. All of the youth at the table placed a vote, except for Mike himself. He collected the ballets in his hat, which was one of the two things he ever took it off for, the other being eating in the dining hall.
"Okay," Mike said, counting the votes. "There's three for Becker, three for Matt Swett, and... one for Mr. Snuffaluffagas?" He looked at Will. "Somehow I don't think Mr. Snuffaluffagas is going to win," he said, tearing up the ballot. "Okay, we'll leave it up to a coin toss, and I differ to our guest Scoutmaster-type person, Matt."
Matt rummaged through his pockets and produced a Susan B. Anthony dollar. "Heads, Matt, tales Becker." He flipped. He looked at the coin.
"Well?" the others prodded.
Matt's mouth twitched, so that he was not quite smiling, but his expression wasn't quite neutral either.
"Well?" the others pleaded.
"Well," Matt said, "you can't go wrong with a Matt."
Swett turned to Becker. "Sorry, guy," he said.
"WHAT?" Becker responded, his headphones back in place. "DID I GET IT?"
"It's kind of odd," Bill suddenly pondered aloud. "Why would Justy have put us all together? Wouldn't he rather divide and conquer?"
"Maybe he's not smart enough for that," Hughes remarked.
"Maybe," Matt responded, not convinced. He tugged at his collar again. "Or maybe he believes in having all of his enemies in one place, and keeping them conveniently out of the way."
An ominous air settled over the table, despite Will's sudden attempts to imitate some kind of half horse - half seagull creature. Finely, the other youth at the table sighed a collective, "Nah..."
But Matt Atanian wasn't convinced...
A week later, ominous thoughts were still on Matt's mind as he made his way home from work. He worked at CVS, a large chain of drug stores that were all over New England and only God and Tom Ryan (the president of CVS) knew where else. Matt didn't concern himself with that. He concerned himself only with the store he worked at.
After being there for so long that it seemed forever, Matt was still on the lowest rung of the latter. He had finely gotten full time benefits, which was something of a plus... but he wasn't planning on staying there forever. Unfortunately for Matt, like most of the rest of his life at present, while he wanted change he wasn't doing much about it.
He stopped at Burger King on the way home, as he usually did. The man behind the counter handed Matt a cheeseburger, plain with ketchup, before Matt could even say hi. Matt handed him a dollar in return and began his walk home, which usually took about twenty minutes.
Just after he finished his 'burger (he usually finished in front of Liberty Auto Wash and made use of their trash barrels, and today was no exception), one of those sudden rainstorms that appeared without warning whenever the plot demanded it began. Matt silently cursed, thankful that at least that he had finished his 'burger first. A moment later, the water began to seep through the trench coat and fedora that Matt almost always wore, whatever the weather, even in the hottest days of summer and the coldest days of winter. (The only time he usually didn't wear them was whilst in his Scout Uniform, and even then, occasionally.)
Matty continued walking down Boston Road, when she looked up and to her surprise noticed someone familiar walking in front of her. Unsure what to say or do, Matty tried not to be noticed, but that was something difficult to do in a trench coat.
"Matty?" Sarah said. "That you?" Sarah was unprepared for the rain, and was holding the remains of a newspaper over her head. Her hair was wetted down to her scalp, and the T-shirt and jeans she wore were sticking to her skin in rather interesting places.
Matty swallowed. She felt a bit warm. One of the advantages, she pondered, to being a woman is that it's harder for others to tell when you are... ahem... "excited." She was grateful that Sarah's T-shirt wasn't white, or she mightn't be able to remain conscious.
"Um... yeah." Matty responded at last. She tried not to look at Sarah too much, at least not parts of her other then her face.
"I must look awful soaked like this," Sarah continued as she came to a halt beside Matty, who had also stopped walking.
"Not... not really," was all Matty could say. I must sound like a total idiot!
"Where you headed?" Sarah asked.
"Home," Matty continued. "It's about fifteen minutes from here."
Sarah smiled. "My place is closer then that," she said. "Come on over and dry off?"
Immediately, Matty's brain was filled with a cacophony of voices shouting, No! Don't do it! Don't be a fool! It's too dangerous! and, inexplicably, Penguin!!! Matty thought of penguins for a moment before deciding to politely beg off. "Sure, thanks," she said. In her head, a million penguins suddenly attacked her for being so stupid.
Sarah let Matty in before walking in herself. It was a small, run down apartment on a street off a street off Boston Road. As she closed the door behind herself, Sarah glanced at her watch and commented, "Nicole and Kirstin probably aren't home from school yet."
Matty nodded dumbly. Sarah walked over to a closet and took out a couple of towels, handing one to Matty. Matty accepted it and nodded a quiet thank you.
Sarah walked into what Matty correctly guessed was her bedroom and began drying off her hair. Matty stood in the bedroom's doorway, afraid to enter. She took of her hat and, still holding on to it, began drying her hair, too.
"Make yourself at home," Sarah said. "It's not much, but..." She walked over to an answering machine, which was blinking, and pressed the play button. Matty was alarmed to see that, after Sarah had done this, she pealed off her T-shirt, leaving only a bra between... between... well, you know... Um... ahem...
Matty's jaw hung open in astonishment, pleasure, and terror all rolled into one. Miraculously, she managed to regain her composure, at least externally, before Sarah could notice.
After a couple false starts, Matty spoke. "Oh, drat, look at the time." She cleared her throat. "I... I have to get going..."
Sarah wasn't listening. She was instead listening to a message on the answering machine.
"Hey, Sarah, baby. How 'bout you and me give it another go, huh?" came from the machine in a voice that was dripping with conceit and self-importance. "I'm still willing to take you back, but this offer may not last long..."
The message stopped abruptly, as Sarah had suddenly ripped the machine away from the wall. She didn't damage it, but she did pull the plug from the socket. "That bastard!!!" she shouted, seemingly oblivious for a moment that Matty was still in the doorway.
The obliviousness did not last long. She suddenly turned to Matty and grabbed both her arms, a frighteningly cheerful look on her face. "Hey, this Sunday night, let's go out. You and me. A girl’s night out. Huh?"
"Um... sure," was all Matty could say.
"Alright, it's a date then," Sarah responded.
Matty began to feel faint, having an almost topless Sarah so close to her. She was desperate for escape. "I really must be going."
"Oh, sure," Sarah said. She hastily scribbled her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Matty. "Give me a call, soon."
And with that, Matty was back out in the rain, the phone number in a pocket where the water would have a hard time reaching it.
Matty stood on the steps outside Sarah's apartment. It's a date... streamed through her consciousness for a moment. What have I gotten myself into?! The penguins returned with reinforcements.
That evening, Matt arrived unceremoniously at the Church in the Acres. Already there was the group of scouts that had become known of by some of the other Adults as his amoebas, although Matt always protested this name, on the grounds that he thought of them as equals, not as mindless followers. Nor did he consider himself their leader (except in the sense that he was an Assistant Scoutmaster), more he thought of them as partners.
This didn't stop the other adult leaders in the Troop from finding humour at their expense.
The "Amoebas" were, of course, most of the members of the Garden Snake Patrol: Aaron Abdowmassy, Mike Quadrozzi, Billy Gelinas, Bill Hughes, and the newest member of the group, young Kenneth Pendrell; none of whom were single-celled organisms. Also loitering near by was part-time amoeba Jon Becker, who was presently off in his own headphone-supplied world. One of them was missing; Matt Swett was with the Cub Scouts, as he often helped them out a bit before his own meeting began.
The rain had stopped a few hours ago, and the sky had cleared up. The sun was very low in the sky, causing the still-wet grass off in the field to seem to glow slightly. Many of the trees on the outskirts of the field were barren, except for the few brave souls still clinging to their brown, withering leaves. It was a typical late autumn evening.
"Hi, Everybody!" Matt intoned.
"Hi, Matt!" the group intoned.
Kenny looked up from his book, A Tale of Two Cities, and added his slightly belated greeting.
Becker continued to be off God-knows-where.
The group was approached by Kirstin Porter, who came to a stop standing beside Aaron. "Hi," she cheerfully said. "How's everything?"
Everyone gave assorted answers to her question, except of course for Becker. Everyone began to wish that he'd take the headphones off or just go away, as in his present state he was being quite distracting.
"So, um," Matt cautiously said, "is your sister here? Not Nicole, the other one."
"Yes," Kirstin answered, "but she's in quite the typical mood, alas. Seems she got a call from her ex-slave master, er, boyfriend."
"So that's who that was," Matt said, thinking aloud.
"Hmm?" Kirstin asked.
"Oh, um," Matt said, "just that she seemed very upset with the answering machine..." he noncommittally replied.
"Were you over at her house or something?" Mike inquired.
Becker shouted, "WHAT?"
The others ignored Becker.
"Um, I guess," Matt replied.
"WHAT?" Becker asked.
Hughes suddenly said something random in German. The others paid him as much attention as they paid Becker.
"And?"
"Well, it looks like she and I are going out Sunday night," Matt said, trailing off in the end as if there was more left unsaid.
"Matt, way to go!" Aaron said, although he thought there was probably a catch.
Kirstin smiled a warm smile. "It's about time she loosened up," she commented.
"What's the catch?" Bill Gelinas asked.
Aaron, Mike, and Kirstin gave Bill a dirty look. "WHAT?" Becker shouted. "Mein Klein Führer!" Hughes randomly commented as Justy walked by, just out of earshot.
Matt finely got around to answering Bill's question. "Well, it's not exactly a romantic date, or anything," he said slowly, prolonging the inevitable. "It's more a sort-of as-friends thing. It's actually sort of..." He coughed suddenly. "A girl’s night out."
Mike, Aaron, Kirstin, and the Bills took this in without one bit of shock. They were sort of expecting it. They would have been surprised if it was a romantic date.
"WHAT?" Becker yelled.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to Kirstin. She took Matt aside, where the others couldn't hear, and asked Matt one question that put him into complete and total shock.
"What are you going to wear?"
In the distance, Becker shouted, "WHAT?" The one tiny part of Matt's mind that wasn't stunned was filled with a mental image of Becker meeting some certain flightless Antarctic water foul.
Disclaimer:
The training ground of cursed springs, Jusenkyo, as well as the curses received there, are from Ranma ½ created by Takahashi Rumiko, and are used without permission.
Most members of Troop 192 are based on real persons. Fortunately, others are not so based.
This story was written without the consent of the Boy Scouts of America, and if they ever found out about it they'd abduct me in the dead of the night and give me an anal probe.
This story marks an end of sorts. It's the end of the beginning. The majority of the characters are introduced, the situations are developed, and the conflicts are in place. Now, if I may be so bold as to say so, the fun can really begin…
Most members of Troop 192 are based on real persons. Fortunately, others are not so based.
This story was written without the consent of the Boy Scouts of America, and if they ever found out about it they'd abduct me in the dead of the night and give me an anal probe.
This story marks an end of sorts. It's the end of the beginning. The majority of the characters are introduced, the situations are developed, and the conflicts are in place. Now, if I may be so bold as to say so, the fun can really begin…