part 27:
The End of Boy Scouts ½
by William Hughes
©2005 by William Hughes and Matthew Atanian
Boy Scouts ½ created by Matthew Atanian
The End of Boy Scouts ½
by William Hughes
©2005 by William Hughes and Matthew Atanian
Boy Scouts ½ created by Matthew Atanian
The sky over Moses grew dark, black as tar, the day shifting to night.
"What... what is this?" Aaron asked, staring up as the sun was blotted out. Streaks of light flashed through the sky, like daggers through the night.
"It is the end times!" Billy cried, diving for cover. But, alas, it was too late. At the waterfront, sunken R'lyeh rose, it's hideous, inhuman geometry driving the swimming staff insane instantly.
Great Cthulhu rose from the ancient burial grounds on Coffinhandle Hill and strode down the mountains in Moses. Where he touched the ground, boy scouts screamed and went mad. Some He chose as worshipers, others He devoured to satiate his insatiable hunger.
Billy was consumed by Great Cthulhu as he tried to escape the ravaging hordes of mindless Scouts. Aaron grew to prominence as a powerful cult leader. Hughes and Mike vanished under mysterious circumstances, never to be seen again.
As for Matt...
Matt woke up some hours later, alone in his tent. He stepped outside into the wreckage of Moses, peered at the lifeless trail left by the slithering of Great Cthulhu.
Matt yawned.
He looked about some more.
Matt then shrugged and turned to go towards the Dining Lodge. Around it, cultists screamed Great Cthulhu's praises to the heavens.
"Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!" they screamed. Matt stopped one, asked a few questions, and then nodded as he got his answers in the ancient, insane language of the Deep Ones. He moved on inside.
Inside the Dining Lodge, everything was absolutely normal. Scouts sat around, having breakfast, chatting animatedly with each other. Occasionally the previous Kitchen Steward would come out and everyone would cheer.
Everyone liked you if you had been steward.
Occasionally, the current Kitchen Steward would come out and everyone would sacrifice him to Great Cthulhu.
No one liked you if you were steward.
Matt thoroughly enjoyed himself and ate muchly of the great offering of earl grey tea and peanut butter spread upon toast.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Nome, Alaska, a car was parked in an empty parking lot. There was much thumping and horrid noises coming from the trunk of the car.
And the trunk popped open, and Mr. Pruyne leapt out and said, "Hey! I'm free, finally!"
And then everyone turned to orange goo.
"What... what is this?" Aaron asked, staring up as the sun was blotted out. Streaks of light flashed through the sky, like daggers through the night.
"It is the end times!" Billy cried, diving for cover. But, alas, it was too late. At the waterfront, sunken R'lyeh rose, it's hideous, inhuman geometry driving the swimming staff insane instantly.
Great Cthulhu rose from the ancient burial grounds on Coffinhandle Hill and strode down the mountains in Moses. Where he touched the ground, boy scouts screamed and went mad. Some He chose as worshipers, others He devoured to satiate his insatiable hunger.
Billy was consumed by Great Cthulhu as he tried to escape the ravaging hordes of mindless Scouts. Aaron grew to prominence as a powerful cult leader. Hughes and Mike vanished under mysterious circumstances, never to be seen again.
As for Matt...
Matt woke up some hours later, alone in his tent. He stepped outside into the wreckage of Moses, peered at the lifeless trail left by the slithering of Great Cthulhu.
Matt yawned.
He looked about some more.
Matt then shrugged and turned to go towards the Dining Lodge. Around it, cultists screamed Great Cthulhu's praises to the heavens.
"Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!" they screamed. Matt stopped one, asked a few questions, and then nodded as he got his answers in the ancient, insane language of the Deep Ones. He moved on inside.
Inside the Dining Lodge, everything was absolutely normal. Scouts sat around, having breakfast, chatting animatedly with each other. Occasionally the previous Kitchen Steward would come out and everyone would cheer.
Everyone liked you if you had been steward.
Occasionally, the current Kitchen Steward would come out and everyone would sacrifice him to Great Cthulhu.
No one liked you if you were steward.
Matt thoroughly enjoyed himself and ate muchly of the great offering of earl grey tea and peanut butter spread upon toast.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Nome, Alaska, a car was parked in an empty parking lot. There was much thumping and horrid noises coming from the trunk of the car.
And the trunk popped open, and Mr. Pruyne leapt out and said, "Hey! I'm free, finally!"
And then everyone turned to orange goo.
Author's Notes & Disclaimers
Okay, this story isn't so nice of me. :P BUT! Matt kept bothering me to write something, so here's the temporary (and thoroughly non-canon) part 27 to tide you folks over until I finish the actual part 27, which will include no Cthulhu or orange goo at all.
I promise.
I promise.
2013 Website Restoration Notes
Hello, Matt here! Congratulations, you found an Easter Egg!
Way back in the day, this story existed on the website as a joke / place holder for a week or so while Hughes was finishing the real part 27. I still had it, and thought it would be fun to share on the new website. But how to go about it? I suppose I could have just stuck it on the "Extras" page, but where is the fun in that? And how could I recreate the surprise some people may have had back in the day when they clicked on a link, expecting to read part 27, and they found some sort of apocalyptic tale of Cthulhu? (Written before Cthulhu was cool, too!)
So I decided to make it an Easter Egg. You won't find it clicking the link for part 27 on the menu page... But you do find it if you click the "next story" link on the bottom of part 26. Looking for the real part 27? The "next story" link at the end of this page will take you there.
Hope you enjoyed this little distraction. On with the story!
Way back in the day, this story existed on the website as a joke / place holder for a week or so while Hughes was finishing the real part 27. I still had it, and thought it would be fun to share on the new website. But how to go about it? I suppose I could have just stuck it on the "Extras" page, but where is the fun in that? And how could I recreate the surprise some people may have had back in the day when they clicked on a link, expecting to read part 27, and they found some sort of apocalyptic tale of Cthulhu? (Written before Cthulhu was cool, too!)
So I decided to make it an Easter Egg. You won't find it clicking the link for part 27 on the menu page... But you do find it if you click the "next story" link on the bottom of part 26. Looking for the real part 27? The "next story" link at the end of this page will take you there.
Hope you enjoyed this little distraction. On with the story!
--Matthew Atanian, 22 April 2013