part 11:
Unexpected Diners
by Matthew Atanian
©2016 by Matthew Atanian
Unexpected Diners
by Matthew Atanian
©2016 by Matthew Atanian
The pair wearing Boy Scout uniforms were making their way through the customs area of Narita Airport, unaware they were being observed.
In a dark office, gazing at an image on a security monitor, a large, black-suited, sunglasses wearing man watched as they headed towards the doorway designated for foreign visitors. The doorway that contained the delicate memory-patching machinery. One of the boys was flailing around emphatically. The man reached forward and flicked a switch, activating the sound. After hearing a large, painful burst of shouting, he turned the sound back off once more.
On the screen, the second boy ducked to pick up something the first boy dropped, just as the baton the first boy was swinging wacked into the side of the doorway. An alarm in the observation room sounded, and an indicator light flickered from green to red just long enough for the two boys to pass through the doorway before flickered back to green.
A second black-suited man, almost identical in appearance to the first, walked over. "Did those two boys not receive the procedure?" He asked the first man.
"It appears there may have been a momentary glitch in the system," the first man replied. "It seems fine now, but it is possible those two were missed."
The second man sighed. What was it with American Boy Scouts? "I'll contact the retrieval team," he said.
The first man, who had been continuing to observe the two boys, shrugged. "You know, we may be fine."
The second man peered over. On the monitor, one of the boys was repeatedly bopping the other one on the head, and the other boy had been reduced to grovelling at his feet, making motions that suggested, of all things, gratitude.
All the while, quite the crowd had surrounded them, attracted by this strange behaviour. The two boys were paying their audience absolutely no mind whatsoever.
"I think," the first man continued, "they may actually be too stupid to notice."
Matthewboshi Atay-ru was walking through the Tomobiki-cho shopping district, on the prowl for the most delicious game. She had still been sleeping when he left home this morning, and so he was pretty sure he was safe to go girl hunting without any undue interruption.
And look... there ahead was a familiar pretty girl!
"Sarah-bu!" He let out a lecherous cackle as he ran towards her, shoving his way past other people out enjoying some shopping. "Sarah-bu, let's go out on a date!"
He stretched out his arms, ready to grab onto her as soon as he was close enough, but unfortunately for him his shouting out to her had given her ample warning to his approach. She instinctively grabbed a bench next to her, ripped it up in her bare hands (seemingly ignoring the fact that it had been bolted to the ground) and swung it like it was a bat and Atay-ru was the ball. "Men be damned!" she hollered, as the crowd around them ducked and the bench made contact with Atay-ru, knocking him into the stratosphere.
Frankly, there was only one thing at this point that could possibly save him, and so it was very lucky for Atay-ru that a certain someone had apparently not been as asleep as he thought she was when he'd left this morning. Atay-ru heard an angry shout of, "Daarrrrrling!!!!!" and turned his head to see a girl with long blueish-green hair, fangs, and two little yellow horns on her head, clad only in a yellow and black tiger striped bikini and matching boots, gliding through the air towards him.
Atay-ru gulped hard. "Lumeg!" Given the choices of letting her catch him, or plummeting to his death... he turned around in mid-air and made swimming motions in an attempt to get away! Alas, it was to no avail, as she quickly caught up to him and glomped him as he fell into her arms, where they then floated together in mid-air.
A small penguin with one singular horn and wearing a tiger striped diaper suddenly floated up next to Lumeg, and pointed a flipper accusingly at Atay-ru. "What did I tell you?" he said to Lumeg. "Aren't you glad I woke you when I saw this idiot going out?"
"Pen-chan, thank you," she said to the penguin. Then Lumeg turned her attention back towards the man struggling in her arms. "Darling!" she shouted, an expression of fury on her face. "Girl hunting again? Darling no baka!!!!!!"
And with that, Atay-ru screamed as 10,000 volts of pure electricity started coursing through every cell of his body.
"And please promise, Duckle-Oh Seven, to return the equipment in one piece?"
Aaron Bond turned to regard the young bespectacled boy in a lab coat who was holding out a set of keys towards him. "Of couse, K," he said taking the keys. "Have I ever let you down?"
"Repetedly, Duckle-Oh Seven," the boy replied in a resigned tone. "Repeatedly."
"Well then," Aaron replied in his thick, charming Scottish brogue, "perhaps this time you will be pleasantly surprised."
K doubted that very much. But still, one could not help but like Agent Duckle-Oh Seven, and so K just wished him luck as the agent got into the highly tricked out Aston Martin and drove off to start his mission.
Aaron's thoughts turned towards the briefing M had given him earlier. The world renowned nuclear scientist Kirstin Cuming had gone missing. It was suspected that SPECTRE was behind this. Aaron frowned. Yungfeld had been a thorn in his side for far too long. Time to put an end to this.
A moment later, Aaron was driving through the Furka Pass in the Swiss Alps. This didn't seem odd to Aaron at all, even though he had seemingly only just left the Universal Exports building in London. So lost in thought was he that he almost didn't notice the Ford Mustang coming up behind him until it was practically on top of him.
Aaron stuck an arm out of the window and motioned for the Mustang to pass. It didn't. Instead, it sped up and bumped him from behind! Only then did he notice who was in the car... it was being driven by the Number Two henchperson in SPECTRE, the bowler-hat clad Proc-Job. And in the passenger seat, none other than Yungfeld himself!
Aaron hit the gas and sped forward. The two cars continued down the winding mountain road at dangerous speeds, barely avoiding going over the edge multiple times. Aaron tried multiple tricks that the car offered, such as caltrops, an oil slick, and even rear-firing missiles! Proc-Job somehow managed to evade them all.
Meanwhile, Yungfeld had rolled down the passenger side window and leaned out, brandishing an M16A1 rifle. He fired it at Aaron's car, but to no avail. K had done his usual excellent job with the bullet proofing, even making the Aston Martin's tires immune.
Alas, the shipping truck that the two speeding cars were rapidly catching up to was not so immune. Yungfeld switched targets, shot past the Aston Martin, and expertly blew out all of the truck's tires. It immediately flipped over and rolled to a stop in a way that it completely blocked the road ahead of them.
Proc-Job, aware of his master's plan, had ample time to hit his breaks. Aaron Bond, alas, was not so lucky. He had to swerve sharply to avoid a collision, and swerving so left him on a trajectory that would take him off the side of the road and over a cliff, making his car plummet down the mountainside, exploding after multiple collisions against the rock face as it fell.
Bill Gelinas was west of the house. It was an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There was a small mailbox here.
Get mail.
That isn't available.
Gelinas sighed. He wished that the parser was more intuitive. First he had to open the mailbox, he supposed.
Open mailbox.
He opened the mailbox, revealing a small leaflet.
Read leaflet.
"Welcome to YUNG," it began. It continued, explaining that Gelinas was in for adventure, danger, and low cunning as he was expected to explore some of the most amazing territory ever seen by mortal man.
After reading the pamphlet, Gelinas pondered what to do next. First he went to the south of the house (where there was no door, and the windows were barred) then south again into a dimly lit forest with large trees all around. South was working so far, so he continued in that direction. In the distance, he heard the chirping of a song bird.
He ignored it and continued in random directions for a bit, eventually coming to a clearing with a pile of leaves on the ground. Looking at them, he saw nothing special about them. Feeling compelled to gather them anyway, he revealed a grating on the ground.
He tried to open the grating, but it was locked and he had nothing to unlock it with.
Gelinas made his way back to the house. Maybe there was a key inside? He found a window that was slightly ajar, and managed to open it enough to permit entry into the kitchen. Not seeing a key, he ignored what was in the kitchen and continued west to the living room. There were a few things here that might be useful if he ever made it underground, such as a battery powered brass lantern and an elvish sword of great antiquity. But he ignored these, too, as he was first focused on finding a key.
East back to the kitchen, then up a dark staircase he went.
It was pitch black. A voice in the back of his head told him he was likely to be eaten by a Yung.
Nonsense, he thought. I'm still in the house! It's safe in here.
He tried looking around. It was still pitch black. Once again, an inner voice tried warning him that he was likely to be eaten by a Yung. Maybe he should have grabbed that lantern? Nah. He randomly chose a direction and tried going east.
Oh, no! Gelinas walked into the slavering fangs of a lurking Yung.
As he took his last breath, he felt relieved of his burdens. The feeling passed as he found himself before the Gates of Hell. Gelinas stood outside a large gateway, on which was inscribed, "Abandon every hope, all ye who enter here."
The gate was open, and through it he could see a desolation, with a pile of mangled corpses in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, could be heard. The way through the gate was barred by evil spirits, who jeered at his attempts to pass and denied him entry.
Getting eaten by a Yung in the house of all places? Some adventurer he was! The spirits all converged on him, mocking his foolishness. Gelinas screamed.
Hughes followed the white duck into the dog house in front of Maison Ikkoku, but was rather surprised when there was no ground inside. Instead, he fell down a very great and deep hole until he came to rest at the bottom with surprisingly no injury.
He looked around the room he was in, and saw no way out save for one door that would simply not budge no matter how hard he tried to open it. The door did have what looked like some kind of pet flap in it, but of course that would be much too small for him to pass through.
Then a small table in the center of the room caught his eye, upon which there was a delicate looking bottle with some kind of fluid inside, and the words "Drink Me" etched into the glass of the bottle in an elaborately beautiful calligraphic script.
Hughes shrugged. He picked up the bottle and took a sniff of the contents. It didn't smell like alcohol, which was good. He was done with that stuff! In fact, he didn't really smell anything at all, almost as if the contents of the bottle were merely water.
"Eh, whatever," he said. "Bottoms up!"
As soon as the water was down his throat, he felt himself changing. The world seemed to grow around him! No, he was shrinking! And fur was growing all over his body. He regarded his hands as they changed into forepaws. He could feel a tale sprouting out behind himself.
"Meow," he said, as the transformation completed itself. He looked at the door once more. Well, that pet flap would probably work just fine now, he figured. And so, he passed through it.
On the other side, the landscape he found was... well, almost beyond description, it was so wondrous! He tried to take it all in, but it was almost too much. So much, in fact, that he thought he must be seeing things, as what looked like a disembodied big toothy smile floated across the pasture to the left of the path he was standing on and came to a stop before him.
"Hello," the toothy grin said. It spun in the air, and when it was upside down the head of a cow appeared around it. It spun again to a proper orientation, and the rest of the cow appeared. It leaned down and chewed on some grass a bit before continuing. "You're new here, aren't you?"
"Meow," Hughes replied. It wasn't as if he had much more of a vocabulary at the moment.
"Well, you better watch out that she doesn't catch you," the cow said. "She's allergic to cats, you know."
And with that, the cow winked at Hughes. Then it spun around in the most disconcerting fashion, with its head and body spinning in opposite directions, until it hung upside down in the air in front of him. Then it winked once again, and vanished from view.
Hughes stood there for a moment, quite, quite confused.
A scream broke his curious contemplation, and he turned around to see who had delivered the shrieking shout.
Justy Yung stood there, wearing an elaborate dress with various heart patterns on it and a crown with a similar motif upon his head. "Aaaaahhhhh! A cat! A cat! Get it!"
With that, from either side of Justy, soldiers with flat bodies that looked like playing cards surged forward and surrounded Hughes. Most of them wielded spears with tips shaped like clubs or diamonds. One of them, with the face of Proctor, instead wielded a very large axe with a blade shaped like a spade.
"Off with its head!" Justy decreed. Proctor, laughing horribly, swung his axe right towards the small cat's neck.
Mike Quadrozzi simply shifted slightly on his futon, muttering, "Mmm, yes, Agent Scully," under his breath, as he continued sleeping peacefully until his alarm indicated that it was time to wake up.
Matt was a bit thirsty as he was getting ready this morning. That weird dream he'd had had left him parched when he had woken up. So he prepared himself a glass of chocolate milk, mixing the Nestlé's Quick powder (which he didn't skimp on) with some ice cold whole milk from his mini-fridge. Matt reflected yet again on how Kenny (and his portable black hole) was a life saver. He didn't know how his finicky pallet would survive a whole year in Japan otherwise!
(The big problem now was keeping Mr. Yotsuya out of his stuff!)
Glass in hand, he decided to wonder around a bit as he drank it. That dream had caused him to awaken early, and so he had some extra time this morning, and spending all his time in his one little room could get a bit dull. And so it was that he bumped into Sarah on the first floor. And when she saw what he was holding, a look came over her that he had never seen on her before. A hungry look.
"Oh my god," she said, "is that chocolate milk?"
"Um... yes?" Matt replied.
"I..." Sarah started, but then she stopped herself. "No, never mind."
Matt had a funny suspicion she wanted some. Now normally, he didn't like sharing drinks with people... but this was Sarah. Given the option, there was a lot more he'd wish to share with her. Besides, she'd probably say no anyway to any offer coming from him. So he asked, "Would you like a sip?"
Surprisingly, the words were barely out of his mouth before the glass somehow magically found itself in her hands, and she took a long, slow sip of the chocolaty liquid. "Oh god, sorry," she then said upon realization. "I don't know what came over me. I guess you just never know what kind of things you're going to miss when you don't have regular access to them anymore. Where the heck did you get that from anyway?" she asked.
"I've got a border ship that brings me in a case every now and then," Matt quipped.
"Yeah, well, keep that stuff coming, and you could make a girl very happy," Sarah commented.
Their gazes met, and it dawned on both of them that they were doing something very bizarre for them: they were conversing like two normal people. Not only that, but to an outside observer who didn't know better, Sarah's last comment could almost seem like friendly flirtation! But surely, not!
As the moment passed, they both reddened a bit and looked away from one another. Matt coughed a bit.
"I'd... I'd better get..." Sarah started to say, motioning as if to indicate that she had somewhere else to be.
"I can get you more," Matt then suddenly offered. "Or something else?"
"No," Sarah said. "No, that's fine. I'm sure that's not cheap." She laughed a bit as a thought occurred to her. "Although, if you have a decent Italian meal hiding somewhere, you let me know, okay?"
Matt nodded.
"Well, I've got to finish getting ready for work," Sarah said.
"Yeah, me too," Matt replied.
They turned away from one another, but Matt suddenly stopped and, feeling uncharacteristically bold, called back to Sarah. "Do you have dinner plans tonight?"
Caught completely off guard, Sarah actually answered this. "Nicole and Kirstin are going out with some friends from school, so no, not really..."
"Well then, Italian it is!" And before she could say anything to him that might sound like a no, Matt turned again and headed back upstairs, downing the last of his glass as he got to his door.
Perfume awoke and examined her surroundings. The room was stark and empty, just a small dresser in the corner with her clothing in it. Grandmother wouldn't let her keep much else around, not while she was still "disgraced."
When Perfume had written her grandmother and explained that Massachusetts was becoming too dangerous because of assassins targeting Jusenkyo cursed individuals, her grandmother's reply had been brief.
"Come to Japan, if you must, where I am with your cousin Shampoo."
When she had arrived, the reception she got had not been a warm one.
"Still haven't overcome your disgrace, granddaughter?" Cologne had asked her. "And now you're running scared from some two-bit assassins, who may kill your targets before you even have the chance to, yourself? You're lucky that I am here with Shampoo. At this rate, there is no way you'll ever be able to show your face in our home village again!"
Lately, while she tried to put on a good face around others, she had actually been feeling a bit depressed. How could she explain things so that her grandmother could understand? That she didn't want to kill her targets? That they had actually become her friends? That the only reason she knew of the danger of the assassins in the first place was because they had warned her?
But she feared that her grandmother just wouldn't understand. She was old. So old that she probably created some of her tribe's ancient traditions in the first place! So how could grandmother ever be convinced that maybe, just maybe, sometimes traditions were better ignored?
She sighed. She got up. What else was there to do? She found Shampoo in the back yard and joined her cousin for some morning exorcises. But try as she might to concentrate on her routines, her mind kept drifting away elsewhere, to her dilemma.
What was she going to do?
She was just glad that her grandmother didn't know that her intended "targets" were actually right there in Japan with them! Thank goodness for that.
"I dunno, that's kind of weird, isn't it?" Aaron yawned. "Most of us having dreams like that? Dreaming of Justy of all people?" He shuddered. "Like an omen of impending doom or something."
The four of them had left early, having an important stop to make on their way towards Furinkan High. Three of them were dragging their feet. The march of the weary and the restless.
"Yeah," Gelinas added. "Almost like this was some poorly written story and the author was trying to put in some cheap foreshadowing."
"Shut up, Bill," Hughes grumbled before he, too, yawned.
Hughes, thank god, was dressed just the same as the rest of them in his school uniform. It seemed that the horrible costumes the principal had wanted to try to get them to wear during that whole Little America business had reawakened in Hughes an appreciation of dressing normally. Occasionally he might throw on a fancy scarf or other accessory on the weekends, but other than that his mode of dress had returned almost to standard. Heck, they'd even spied him returning to his old stand-by of plaid on one or two occasions.
"I don't know what you all are complaining about," Mike said to his fellows. Upon his head, of course, was his trademark red hat that had been so worn that it was practically held together by sheer stubbornness. He was the only one in the group with an energetic bounce to his step in this otherwise lowly motivated morning walk. "Nothing like that happened to me. Rather than dream of Justy, I slept the sleep of the just!" He grinned happily at the memory of his own dream.
The others could only glare at him. At him and his stupid, stupid pun.
Meg had left early for school this day, and as planned she stopped in a small teahouse not far from the school. She ordered herself a cup and then went to sit at a table where the person she was meeting was already waiting.
"Good morning, Yagami-sensei," she said as she sat.
"Good morning, Megumi," her teacher replied.
They sat sipping their tea.
"Have you thought much yet about your next step?" Yagami-sensei finally asked.
"I don't know," Meg replied. "Things seemed a little awkward for a few days after when I put the heart on his back, so I thought it best to let him calm down for a bit."
Yagami-sensei tisked. "You should have struck more while the iron was still hot."
"I've been friendly to him in class. What more can I do? I only see him in school. It's not like I can jump into his arms in front of the whole class," she pointed out.
"No, I suppose not," Yagami-sensei conceded.
"There is another problem..." Meg admitted.
"Oh?"
"I think he might already have someone he likes," she said. "I met her. She works for my dad."
"That could be a problem. And does she like him back?"
Meg thought back to her meeting with Sarah a few weeks before. "I don't think she knows," she then hazarded.
"So they aren't actually together then?"
"No, I don't think so."
Yagami-sensei then smiled, and clasped her hands together with a loud clap. "Well then, I don't see what the problem is! Until they actually are formerly together, he's fair game. You just need to step up your game, and take more drastic action to get his notice. If he chooses you over her, that is his business. Just make sure that is what he does!"
"Yes, Yagami-sensei!"
The teacher finished her tea, and stood. "I am glad we could have this little chat, Megumi‑chan," she said. "I'll see you in class. Don't be late, now!" And with that, Yagami-sensei departed.
Meg sat sipping her tea a moment before she noticed something. A file folder sitting on the chair Yagami-sensei had vacated. Had it fallen from her teacher's bag? She supposed she should return it. She picked it up, and her eyes fell upon a title written on the folder. "NEW FACULTY RECORDS."
The boys were now walking to school, fresh from their latest stop at Doctor Tofu's office. Mike stretched a bit.
"Feeling anything different, yet?" Hughes asked him.
Mike stretched again, feeling it in the joints that Tofu had been poking and prodding over the last few weeks. He was starting to feel really grateful that he'd gotten a good sleep the previous night because, unlike his fellows who were by now starting to wake up a bit more, he now felt like he could use a few more hours of sleep. "I dunno," he replied. "I do feel a little weird, lately."
Aaron eyed Mike with a critical eye. "You're not... This is going to sound stupid..."
"What?" Mike asked.
"Well..." Aaron said, "shorter?" Then he quickly added, "Just a bit!"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Mike exclaimed.
"Oh thank god," Gelinas then said, however. "I had been thinking the same thing. I just didn't want to say anything, 'cause then you'd just say..."
"Shut up, Bill," Mike helpfully provided. Then, to everyone, he insisted, "I am not getting shorter! Come on, let's get a move on, or we'll miss the bell."
A plan been forming all day in Matt's mind. But for it, he would need supplies. Fortunately, it seems that an early day had been planned at school today for faculty business which, given his unique situation, Matt was not required to stay for himself. It seemed almost a divine indication to Matt that his plans would be a success.
It should be pretty late in Massachusetts now, so he felt he could chance a brief visit without being seen by anyone who knew he shouldn't be there. But not so late that the grocery store would be shut quite yet. And if he was quiet, he could also sneak into his house to grab a few things he'd been meaning to get anyway while he was in the area.
And so, he chanced a journey through the portable black hole that Kenny had provided. After a trip too weird to spend too much time comfortably contemplating, and somewhat nauseating to boot, he found himself deep in Kenny's Laboratory.
"Man, Kenny was right," he said. "I should leave black hole travel to him and just send him requests for supplies."
But this was an emergency, and he was in a slight rush. Not so much of a rush, though, that he couldn't pause to go investigate a flickering light in a distant corner of the lab before going about his errands.
He found Kenny and Becker, sitting in chairs and watching television. Well, Kenny was watching. Becker's chair was reclined and he was snoring lightly.
On the television was something that looked bizarrely like his life, except in this version of it, Matt wasn't the only one that was gender swapped! Also, Perfume was still threatening to kill him. Man, he didn't miss that. Thank goodness Perfume was their friend, now! When it was finished, all Matt could say was, "Woah..."
Hearing this, Kenny jerked his head around to see who had intruded into his sanctum. “Mr. Atanian, what are you doing here?” he whispered, so as not to wake Becker.
“Oh, sorry for the surprise. I was just paying a quick late night visit to retrieve something from home and after I came through the black hole conduit, I saw the flickering lights through the door and figured you must still be up,” Matt explained in a hushed manner.
“How are things in Japan, Mr. Atanian?” Kenny asked.
“Things are okay. The guys are in school right now and class was cancelled at the school I'm teaching at, so since I wasn’t doing much else I figured I'd take care of an errand while everyone in the States was asleep. Let me tell you, those guys were not happy to find out that Japanese schools ran six days a week. How are things here?” Matt asked.
Kenny shrugged, “They are satisfactory. The troop certainly is not as much fun now that you guys are over there, but the Garden Snakes are a resilient bunch. You and the others made sure of that.” Kenny felt he would save explanations that Justy had reshuffled the patrols and that, actually, the Garden Snakes as a formal patrol within Troop 192 were no more, for another time.
“Good to hear," he said with a friendly tap on Kenny's shoulder. Justy, however, seemed to be on Matt's mind anyway, as he then asked, "What about Justy?”
Kenny rolled his eyes, but maybe it would be simpler if Matt didn't know everything that was going on. It wasn't anything too bad, and he didn't need his friends risking their lives rushing to his defence. So he downplayed recent events. “Justy is still Justy and Proctor is still Proctor, though if the upcoming elections change things, it can only be for the better.” Matt didn't need to know that Justy had actually moved up the elections, and that had already won a second term. Let him live in hope.
While he felt bad about the little white lie, as if to confirm to Kenny he'd been right to tell it Matt's next words were, “Well, let us know if there’s anything we can do to help. Just say the word and we’ll be through the mallet-space black hole like a hammer aimed at a pervert.
“Now,” Matt said, gesturing his head toward the large screen, “What’s all this then?”
As Meg sat on the crowded train, she pulled the file folder from her backpack and opened it. This had not been left by accident. Especially since the folder marked "NEW FACULTY RECORDS" only had the record of one faculty member in it.
Mr. Matthew Atanian.
There was an address in it. Somewhere in Massachusetts. That wouldn't be helpful to her, of course. But there was another address... An address in the Nerima ward...
She had missed her own stop about two stops ago, and Meg found she didn't really care. She checked where the train was now. The next stop would be an excellent transfer point. Yes, she knew where she needed to go.
She smiled.
The train pulled into its next stop and the doors opened. She stood and started for the door. Just as she was about to exit the train, however, she was shoved roughly aside from a young kid in what looked like... like a Boy Scout uniform? Not usually an image she associated with such rudeness!
"Make way! Make way!" the boy shouted in English, which Meg understood easily enough, but which many of the others being moved aside seemed rather baffled by. "This way, Captain!" the boy then said.
A second boy in a Boy Scout uniform, this one (unlike the first) Asian, Meg wasn't sure what but she knew he wasn't Japanese, strode forward with a self important step. "Come along," he said to the first. "We must find them!"
"It may not be as big as America, sir, but it is still a big country," the first boy offered.
"Maybe if you hadn't forgotten the address at home, then?" The second boy whacked the first boy in the head with some sort of baton.
"I'm sorry captain!"
Meg didn't hear more as the doors then closed.
With her still on the train.
"Oh..." Meg said. "Drat."
She sighed. There wasn't much else she could do. The whole thing had put her rather out of sorts, and she wasn't the only one, as a few people in business suits were looking about rather confused.
She returned to her seat and glanced at her watch. Probably take about an hour for the train to loop back around, then another train to get to the Clock Hill station... It would take a little while, but she'd get there. And when she did...
As she sat back down, with only her own thoughts for company as she gazed out through the windows at the urban landscape going by, Meg smiled.
Some time later, Matt finally returned back through the portal to Japan. He'd been a bit longer then he had planned, getting distracted watching some stuff with Kenny, but he should still have time to do what he planned to do.
Perdue pre-cooked strips of chicken breast, check.
A jar of garlic alfredo sauce, check.
A box of fettuccine, check.
A fresh loaf of Italian bread, check.
Some butter, some spices, and some cheese, check.
A few pots and pans, a hot plate, and a toaster oven, and even in his little six-tatami mat room, and with his limited cooking skills, Matt felt he had the makings of a decent meal.
He turned on his computer and started playing some music. A moment later, to the majestic tones of James Horner, he began to fill a large pot with water.
Sarah was tired when she got home. It had been a long day, proof reading memos being prepared for the American offices and translating Engrish into actual English. Apparently, this had been quite a problem in the past, something Mr. Kataki said he found personally embarrassing when he had been on the receiving end at the American offices, and he was determined that it would not happen again since he had returned to the home office.
Yes, it wasn't exactly running a marathon, but it could be quite taxing on the brain sometimes trying to figure out what was supposed to be being conveyed and coming up with acceptable language to do so properly.
"Hungry," Sarah said to herself.
Sniff, sniff, her nose said. What was that in the air? A touch of garlic?
Her mind drifted back to this morning's conversation with Matt. Oh dear god, had she agreed to have dinner with him? What was she thinking?
Still...
Sniff, sniff...
Curiosity got the better of her, and she ascended the stairs to the second floor. A figure clad in a yukata was sitting seiza before the door to room 5, with a pair of chopsticks being held pinched between his nose and his upper lip.
"Ah, hello, Ms. Porter," Mr. Yotsuya said, deftly catching the chopsticks between two of his fingers as they fell when he spoke.
"Mr. Yotsuya," Sarah replied in greeting. And then she asked, "What are you doing?"
"Can you believe the indignity of it?" Mr. Yotsuya asked. "This fine olfactory assault, and my entry into young Mr. Atanian's room has been forbidden! He has even blocked off the portal between our chambers!"
"You mean the giant hole you keep putting in the wall?" Sarah asked.
"It is an important portal for cultural and culinary exchange," Mr. Yotsuya insisted.
"It's a bloody great hole," Sarah replied.
Mr. Yotsuya simply offered a curt, "Hmmph." He then stood and marched off to his own room, shutting the door behind himself.
Once silence otherwise overcame the hallway, a slight sizzling sound made its way to Sarah's ears. Something was going on in there, all right. Something... tasty.
Sudden indecision overcame Sarah. Should she knock? Should she go to her room and wait to be invited up? Should she just go to her room and... well... not like she had other dinner plans, she supposed. It would be awfully cruel if Matt went to all of this effort for her and she declined to at least try it. It was only being polite, right? No need to read anything else into it, right?
Just then, the door opened. Matt stood there, having been about to come out but then, after noticing Sarah, he jumped a bit, splashing himself with water from the pot he was carrying.
The two stared at one another for a moment.
"Hello," Sarah said.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" Matt said. The moment having passed, the realization that he had just splashed himself with rather hot water had begun to sink in. Mind you, in the current situation, Matt would certainly have found cold water worse! But still, there's hot and there's too hot!
"Oh... Oh god," Sarah said. "Are you okay?"
"Hot... hot..." Matt said. He shuffled past her to the sink on the opposite side of the hallway and dumped the contents of the pot into a strainer he had had waiting. Steam enveloped him as he did so, fogging his glasses. Matt put the pot down, pulled his glasses off, and wiped them with the bottom of his shirt.
"You didn't burn yourself, did you?" Sarah asked with genuine concern. His arm looked a bit red where the water had sloshed onto it. "Maybe we should run some cold water over that?"
Matt looked up sharply, his eyes as wide as a deer's in headlights. "No!" he exclaimed. "No cold water!"
"Ooookay," Sarah replied to that. Matt gets really weird when he cooks, she thought to herself. Hopefully, it'll be worth it...
Matt blinked a bit, put his glasses back on, and rubbed his arm slightly. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to shout. Just... Well, things should be ready in just a little while. You just got in, right? Why not go down to your room, relax a little bit, and I can bring everything down when it's ready? I don't really have a table to sit at in my room, after all."
"Oh, right, that makes sense," Sarah thought. "So... I'll see you in a little while then?"
"Yup!" Matt replied. "Maybe ten or fifteen minutes!" And with that, he disappeared back into his room.
Sarah turned and started to walk away. Her stride was interrupted when she heard a shout from behind Matt's door. "YOTSUYA! No! That's not for you!" She chuckled softly to herself and continued on her way.
Although Kirstin kept their set of rooms fairly clean, Sarah couldn't help but futz around a bit in anticipation of her impending visitor. Since she was keeping needlessly busy the time flew by, and thus she was actually startled when there was a knock at her door.
Oh god, what should she do now?
Oh god, why was she acting like an indecisive little schoolgirl?
Damn it, Sarah, she said to herself, you're a grown adult. This is no one special. It's just Matt. Let him in, eat his food, tell him it was lovely, and send him on his way. How hard can it be?
She took a breath, composed herself, and opened the door.
Matt stood waiting on the other side of the door.
In each of his hands he held a glass of chocolate milk, and balanced atop each glass was a plate. Upon each plate was a steamy pile if noodles. A creamy, garlicky scent wafted up towards her nostrils.
"Come in," Sarah said.
Matt had finally succeeded in getting Mr. Yotsuya back out of his room, and then regarded the reopened hole in his wall with some annoyance. He didn't have long to do this, though, as the toaster oven suddenly gave off a ding!
"Aah!" he rushed over to the toaster oven and pulled out the mozzarella covered garlic bread he'd been cooking inside. He took it out. It was perfect! That being the final thing, he assembled two plates, got beverages to go with them, and made his way down the staircase.
As he stood outside of Sarah's door, a meal in each hand, he realized a slight flaw in his plan. How was he going to knock? He thought about just shouting Sarah's name, but that seemed a bit rude. He then contemplated head butting the door or kneeing it a few times, before settling on a few short kicks.
The door opened, and Sarah stood on the other side. She was wearing just simple pants and a tee-shirt, and hadn't updated her make-up or hair at all beyond the professional look she had developed for her office work, but to Matt she still looked beautiful.
"Come in," she said, and Matt did so. As Sarah closed the door behind him they heard a knock at the front door of the building, but they paid it no mind, as surely someone else would answer it.
"Won't you sit down?" Sarah asked. They had room in their apartment for a small table and chairs, for which Matt was grateful. Sitting cross-legged on the floor was a bit uncomfortable for him. He walked over to the table and placed the food and drink down upon it.
Sarah sat down at one side of the table, and Matt at the other. She looked down at the plate in front of her, and couldn't help but to smile. "This looks really good!" she said. She couldn't help but sounding a bit surprised, but if Matt noticed he took no offense.
Rather, Matt couldn't help but blush slightly. "Aww, I don't know about that," he said. "It's mostly precooked stuff or stuff out of a box. I'm no chef on Kirstin's level."
A mental penguin kicked Matt's brain. And how would Matt know how good a cook Kirstin is? it asked him.
Fortunately, either Sarah didn't notice the faux pas, or just assumed that her sister's reputation was enough that it may be common knowledge. "Well, even if it isn't all from scratch," she said, "it certainly smells good. So it should hopefully taste the same way."
Matt wasn't quite sure what to say to this. The concept of Sarah complementing him or anything he did (in his male form, at least) was rather alien to him, after all. However, he was saved from having to come up with a response by a knock at Sarah's door.
"Who could...?" Sarah pondered. She wasn't expecting Nicole or Kirstin for a while, and she couldn't think who else it could possibly be. Matt's curiosity got the better of him and he followed Sarah and stood beside her as she opened the door.
Mr. Yotsuya stood there. An inscrutable expression was upon his face, and in his hands he carried a glass of chocolate milk and an additional plate of chicken alfredo he had no doubt assembled from what extra had remained upstairs in Matt's room.
"Ah, young Mr. Atanian and Ms. Porter," he said in greeting.
"Mr. Yotsuya?" Matt asked.
"This is... um..." Sarah seemed flustered. "This is a surprise."
Matt gathered a small measure of courage from somewhere. "Didn't I tell you that food was not for you?" he managed to ask.
"Of course," the Japanese man replied, with an affectation of pleasantry to his voice. "I would not dream of interrupting your meal. I just thought you would like an additional plate for your other guest."
"Other...?" Matt began, but he was interrupted as a small figure revealed itself from behind Mr. Yotsuya, rushed forward, and grabbed Matt in a tight embrace.
"Matt-sensei!"
"M... Meg?"
Perry exited the kitchen and entered the dining room of the Cat Cafe. That stupid Mousse had accidentally sprayed him with water from the sink. He was glad that, since being cursed, he had taken to wearing somewhat unisex clothes, but still, he would prefer dry clothes. Stupid Mousse.
Meanwhile, a few customers were coming into the restaurant, but Perry paid this no mind as he was on a mission to go to his room and get new clothes.
"Here," one of the customers said, speaking English. Having lived in America for such an extended period recently, this didn't strike Perry as odd, and he continued on his path without giving it any thought. "This looks like a good place to eat."
"I suppose it will suffice."
"We can continue searching after dinner, okay Captain?"
"Of course! Nothing will stop me from finding those insolent little... YOU!!!"
Perry's attention finally fell upon the customers as he somehow sensed that the last word had been directed at him, and it was then that he noticed exactly who it was that had entered the Cat Cafe.
No.
Oh, no.
"PEON #17!!!" Justy shouted, poking a finger in Perry's direction.
Cologne, curious about the ruckus, came bouncing over, hopping perched atop her walking staff.
"If you are here, the others must be close! Tell me! WHERE ARE THE GARDEN SNAKES?!?!"
Perry looked left and right, unable to see an avenue of escape.
"I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!" Justy spat, practically frothing at the mouth.
"Granddaughter?" Cologne said.
Perry's head whipped towards the tiny old woman in panic.
"Granddaughter, is this true?"
In a dark office, gazing at an image on a security monitor, a large, black-suited, sunglasses wearing man watched as they headed towards the doorway designated for foreign visitors. The doorway that contained the delicate memory-patching machinery. One of the boys was flailing around emphatically. The man reached forward and flicked a switch, activating the sound. After hearing a large, painful burst of shouting, he turned the sound back off once more.
On the screen, the second boy ducked to pick up something the first boy dropped, just as the baton the first boy was swinging wacked into the side of the doorway. An alarm in the observation room sounded, and an indicator light flickered from green to red just long enough for the two boys to pass through the doorway before flickered back to green.
A second black-suited man, almost identical in appearance to the first, walked over. "Did those two boys not receive the procedure?" He asked the first man.
"It appears there may have been a momentary glitch in the system," the first man replied. "It seems fine now, but it is possible those two were missed."
The second man sighed. What was it with American Boy Scouts? "I'll contact the retrieval team," he said.
The first man, who had been continuing to observe the two boys, shrugged. "You know, we may be fine."
The second man peered over. On the monitor, one of the boys was repeatedly bopping the other one on the head, and the other boy had been reduced to grovelling at his feet, making motions that suggested, of all things, gratitude.
All the while, quite the crowd had surrounded them, attracted by this strange behaviour. The two boys were paying their audience absolutely no mind whatsoever.
"I think," the first man continued, "they may actually be too stupid to notice."
Matthewboshi Atay-ru was walking through the Tomobiki-cho shopping district, on the prowl for the most delicious game. She had still been sleeping when he left home this morning, and so he was pretty sure he was safe to go girl hunting without any undue interruption.
And look... there ahead was a familiar pretty girl!
"Sarah-bu!" He let out a lecherous cackle as he ran towards her, shoving his way past other people out enjoying some shopping. "Sarah-bu, let's go out on a date!"
He stretched out his arms, ready to grab onto her as soon as he was close enough, but unfortunately for him his shouting out to her had given her ample warning to his approach. She instinctively grabbed a bench next to her, ripped it up in her bare hands (seemingly ignoring the fact that it had been bolted to the ground) and swung it like it was a bat and Atay-ru was the ball. "Men be damned!" she hollered, as the crowd around them ducked and the bench made contact with Atay-ru, knocking him into the stratosphere.
Frankly, there was only one thing at this point that could possibly save him, and so it was very lucky for Atay-ru that a certain someone had apparently not been as asleep as he thought she was when he'd left this morning. Atay-ru heard an angry shout of, "Daarrrrrling!!!!!" and turned his head to see a girl with long blueish-green hair, fangs, and two little yellow horns on her head, clad only in a yellow and black tiger striped bikini and matching boots, gliding through the air towards him.
Atay-ru gulped hard. "Lumeg!" Given the choices of letting her catch him, or plummeting to his death... he turned around in mid-air and made swimming motions in an attempt to get away! Alas, it was to no avail, as she quickly caught up to him and glomped him as he fell into her arms, where they then floated together in mid-air.
A small penguin with one singular horn and wearing a tiger striped diaper suddenly floated up next to Lumeg, and pointed a flipper accusingly at Atay-ru. "What did I tell you?" he said to Lumeg. "Aren't you glad I woke you when I saw this idiot going out?"
"Pen-chan, thank you," she said to the penguin. Then Lumeg turned her attention back towards the man struggling in her arms. "Darling!" she shouted, an expression of fury on her face. "Girl hunting again? Darling no baka!!!!!!"
And with that, Atay-ru screamed as 10,000 volts of pure electricity started coursing through every cell of his body.
"And please promise, Duckle-Oh Seven, to return the equipment in one piece?"
Aaron Bond turned to regard the young bespectacled boy in a lab coat who was holding out a set of keys towards him. "Of couse, K," he said taking the keys. "Have I ever let you down?"
"Repetedly, Duckle-Oh Seven," the boy replied in a resigned tone. "Repeatedly."
"Well then," Aaron replied in his thick, charming Scottish brogue, "perhaps this time you will be pleasantly surprised."
K doubted that very much. But still, one could not help but like Agent Duckle-Oh Seven, and so K just wished him luck as the agent got into the highly tricked out Aston Martin and drove off to start his mission.
Aaron's thoughts turned towards the briefing M had given him earlier. The world renowned nuclear scientist Kirstin Cuming had gone missing. It was suspected that SPECTRE was behind this. Aaron frowned. Yungfeld had been a thorn in his side for far too long. Time to put an end to this.
A moment later, Aaron was driving through the Furka Pass in the Swiss Alps. This didn't seem odd to Aaron at all, even though he had seemingly only just left the Universal Exports building in London. So lost in thought was he that he almost didn't notice the Ford Mustang coming up behind him until it was practically on top of him.
Aaron stuck an arm out of the window and motioned for the Mustang to pass. It didn't. Instead, it sped up and bumped him from behind! Only then did he notice who was in the car... it was being driven by the Number Two henchperson in SPECTRE, the bowler-hat clad Proc-Job. And in the passenger seat, none other than Yungfeld himself!
Aaron hit the gas and sped forward. The two cars continued down the winding mountain road at dangerous speeds, barely avoiding going over the edge multiple times. Aaron tried multiple tricks that the car offered, such as caltrops, an oil slick, and even rear-firing missiles! Proc-Job somehow managed to evade them all.
Meanwhile, Yungfeld had rolled down the passenger side window and leaned out, brandishing an M16A1 rifle. He fired it at Aaron's car, but to no avail. K had done his usual excellent job with the bullet proofing, even making the Aston Martin's tires immune.
Alas, the shipping truck that the two speeding cars were rapidly catching up to was not so immune. Yungfeld switched targets, shot past the Aston Martin, and expertly blew out all of the truck's tires. It immediately flipped over and rolled to a stop in a way that it completely blocked the road ahead of them.
Proc-Job, aware of his master's plan, had ample time to hit his breaks. Aaron Bond, alas, was not so lucky. He had to swerve sharply to avoid a collision, and swerving so left him on a trajectory that would take him off the side of the road and over a cliff, making his car plummet down the mountainside, exploding after multiple collisions against the rock face as it fell.
Bill Gelinas was west of the house. It was an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There was a small mailbox here.
Get mail.
That isn't available.
Gelinas sighed. He wished that the parser was more intuitive. First he had to open the mailbox, he supposed.
Open mailbox.
He opened the mailbox, revealing a small leaflet.
Read leaflet.
"Welcome to YUNG," it began. It continued, explaining that Gelinas was in for adventure, danger, and low cunning as he was expected to explore some of the most amazing territory ever seen by mortal man.
After reading the pamphlet, Gelinas pondered what to do next. First he went to the south of the house (where there was no door, and the windows were barred) then south again into a dimly lit forest with large trees all around. South was working so far, so he continued in that direction. In the distance, he heard the chirping of a song bird.
He ignored it and continued in random directions for a bit, eventually coming to a clearing with a pile of leaves on the ground. Looking at them, he saw nothing special about them. Feeling compelled to gather them anyway, he revealed a grating on the ground.
He tried to open the grating, but it was locked and he had nothing to unlock it with.
Gelinas made his way back to the house. Maybe there was a key inside? He found a window that was slightly ajar, and managed to open it enough to permit entry into the kitchen. Not seeing a key, he ignored what was in the kitchen and continued west to the living room. There were a few things here that might be useful if he ever made it underground, such as a battery powered brass lantern and an elvish sword of great antiquity. But he ignored these, too, as he was first focused on finding a key.
East back to the kitchen, then up a dark staircase he went.
It was pitch black. A voice in the back of his head told him he was likely to be eaten by a Yung.
Nonsense, he thought. I'm still in the house! It's safe in here.
He tried looking around. It was still pitch black. Once again, an inner voice tried warning him that he was likely to be eaten by a Yung. Maybe he should have grabbed that lantern? Nah. He randomly chose a direction and tried going east.
Oh, no! Gelinas walked into the slavering fangs of a lurking Yung.
As he took his last breath, he felt relieved of his burdens. The feeling passed as he found himself before the Gates of Hell. Gelinas stood outside a large gateway, on which was inscribed, "Abandon every hope, all ye who enter here."
The gate was open, and through it he could see a desolation, with a pile of mangled corpses in one corner. Thousands of voices, lamenting some hideous fate, could be heard. The way through the gate was barred by evil spirits, who jeered at his attempts to pass and denied him entry.
Getting eaten by a Yung in the house of all places? Some adventurer he was! The spirits all converged on him, mocking his foolishness. Gelinas screamed.
Hughes followed the white duck into the dog house in front of Maison Ikkoku, but was rather surprised when there was no ground inside. Instead, he fell down a very great and deep hole until he came to rest at the bottom with surprisingly no injury.
He looked around the room he was in, and saw no way out save for one door that would simply not budge no matter how hard he tried to open it. The door did have what looked like some kind of pet flap in it, but of course that would be much too small for him to pass through.
Then a small table in the center of the room caught his eye, upon which there was a delicate looking bottle with some kind of fluid inside, and the words "Drink Me" etched into the glass of the bottle in an elaborately beautiful calligraphic script.
Hughes shrugged. He picked up the bottle and took a sniff of the contents. It didn't smell like alcohol, which was good. He was done with that stuff! In fact, he didn't really smell anything at all, almost as if the contents of the bottle were merely water.
"Eh, whatever," he said. "Bottoms up!"
As soon as the water was down his throat, he felt himself changing. The world seemed to grow around him! No, he was shrinking! And fur was growing all over his body. He regarded his hands as they changed into forepaws. He could feel a tale sprouting out behind himself.
"Meow," he said, as the transformation completed itself. He looked at the door once more. Well, that pet flap would probably work just fine now, he figured. And so, he passed through it.
On the other side, the landscape he found was... well, almost beyond description, it was so wondrous! He tried to take it all in, but it was almost too much. So much, in fact, that he thought he must be seeing things, as what looked like a disembodied big toothy smile floated across the pasture to the left of the path he was standing on and came to a stop before him.
"Hello," the toothy grin said. It spun in the air, and when it was upside down the head of a cow appeared around it. It spun again to a proper orientation, and the rest of the cow appeared. It leaned down and chewed on some grass a bit before continuing. "You're new here, aren't you?"
"Meow," Hughes replied. It wasn't as if he had much more of a vocabulary at the moment.
"Well, you better watch out that she doesn't catch you," the cow said. "She's allergic to cats, you know."
And with that, the cow winked at Hughes. Then it spun around in the most disconcerting fashion, with its head and body spinning in opposite directions, until it hung upside down in the air in front of him. Then it winked once again, and vanished from view.
Hughes stood there for a moment, quite, quite confused.
A scream broke his curious contemplation, and he turned around to see who had delivered the shrieking shout.
Justy Yung stood there, wearing an elaborate dress with various heart patterns on it and a crown with a similar motif upon his head. "Aaaaahhhhh! A cat! A cat! Get it!"
With that, from either side of Justy, soldiers with flat bodies that looked like playing cards surged forward and surrounded Hughes. Most of them wielded spears with tips shaped like clubs or diamonds. One of them, with the face of Proctor, instead wielded a very large axe with a blade shaped like a spade.
"Off with its head!" Justy decreed. Proctor, laughing horribly, swung his axe right towards the small cat's neck.
Mike Quadrozzi simply shifted slightly on his futon, muttering, "Mmm, yes, Agent Scully," under his breath, as he continued sleeping peacefully until his alarm indicated that it was time to wake up.
Matt was a bit thirsty as he was getting ready this morning. That weird dream he'd had had left him parched when he had woken up. So he prepared himself a glass of chocolate milk, mixing the Nestlé's Quick powder (which he didn't skimp on) with some ice cold whole milk from his mini-fridge. Matt reflected yet again on how Kenny (and his portable black hole) was a life saver. He didn't know how his finicky pallet would survive a whole year in Japan otherwise!
(The big problem now was keeping Mr. Yotsuya out of his stuff!)
Glass in hand, he decided to wonder around a bit as he drank it. That dream had caused him to awaken early, and so he had some extra time this morning, and spending all his time in his one little room could get a bit dull. And so it was that he bumped into Sarah on the first floor. And when she saw what he was holding, a look came over her that he had never seen on her before. A hungry look.
"Oh my god," she said, "is that chocolate milk?"
"Um... yes?" Matt replied.
"I..." Sarah started, but then she stopped herself. "No, never mind."
Matt had a funny suspicion she wanted some. Now normally, he didn't like sharing drinks with people... but this was Sarah. Given the option, there was a lot more he'd wish to share with her. Besides, she'd probably say no anyway to any offer coming from him. So he asked, "Would you like a sip?"
Surprisingly, the words were barely out of his mouth before the glass somehow magically found itself in her hands, and she took a long, slow sip of the chocolaty liquid. "Oh god, sorry," she then said upon realization. "I don't know what came over me. I guess you just never know what kind of things you're going to miss when you don't have regular access to them anymore. Where the heck did you get that from anyway?" she asked.
"I've got a border ship that brings me in a case every now and then," Matt quipped.
"Yeah, well, keep that stuff coming, and you could make a girl very happy," Sarah commented.
Their gazes met, and it dawned on both of them that they were doing something very bizarre for them: they were conversing like two normal people. Not only that, but to an outside observer who didn't know better, Sarah's last comment could almost seem like friendly flirtation! But surely, not!
As the moment passed, they both reddened a bit and looked away from one another. Matt coughed a bit.
"I'd... I'd better get..." Sarah started to say, motioning as if to indicate that she had somewhere else to be.
"I can get you more," Matt then suddenly offered. "Or something else?"
"No," Sarah said. "No, that's fine. I'm sure that's not cheap." She laughed a bit as a thought occurred to her. "Although, if you have a decent Italian meal hiding somewhere, you let me know, okay?"
Matt nodded.
"Well, I've got to finish getting ready for work," Sarah said.
"Yeah, me too," Matt replied.
They turned away from one another, but Matt suddenly stopped and, feeling uncharacteristically bold, called back to Sarah. "Do you have dinner plans tonight?"
Caught completely off guard, Sarah actually answered this. "Nicole and Kirstin are going out with some friends from school, so no, not really..."
"Well then, Italian it is!" And before she could say anything to him that might sound like a no, Matt turned again and headed back upstairs, downing the last of his glass as he got to his door.
Perfume awoke and examined her surroundings. The room was stark and empty, just a small dresser in the corner with her clothing in it. Grandmother wouldn't let her keep much else around, not while she was still "disgraced."
When Perfume had written her grandmother and explained that Massachusetts was becoming too dangerous because of assassins targeting Jusenkyo cursed individuals, her grandmother's reply had been brief.
"Come to Japan, if you must, where I am with your cousin Shampoo."
When she had arrived, the reception she got had not been a warm one.
"Still haven't overcome your disgrace, granddaughter?" Cologne had asked her. "And now you're running scared from some two-bit assassins, who may kill your targets before you even have the chance to, yourself? You're lucky that I am here with Shampoo. At this rate, there is no way you'll ever be able to show your face in our home village again!"
Lately, while she tried to put on a good face around others, she had actually been feeling a bit depressed. How could she explain things so that her grandmother could understand? That she didn't want to kill her targets? That they had actually become her friends? That the only reason she knew of the danger of the assassins in the first place was because they had warned her?
But she feared that her grandmother just wouldn't understand. She was old. So old that she probably created some of her tribe's ancient traditions in the first place! So how could grandmother ever be convinced that maybe, just maybe, sometimes traditions were better ignored?
She sighed. She got up. What else was there to do? She found Shampoo in the back yard and joined her cousin for some morning exorcises. But try as she might to concentrate on her routines, her mind kept drifting away elsewhere, to her dilemma.
What was she going to do?
She was just glad that her grandmother didn't know that her intended "targets" were actually right there in Japan with them! Thank goodness for that.
"I dunno, that's kind of weird, isn't it?" Aaron yawned. "Most of us having dreams like that? Dreaming of Justy of all people?" He shuddered. "Like an omen of impending doom or something."
The four of them had left early, having an important stop to make on their way towards Furinkan High. Three of them were dragging their feet. The march of the weary and the restless.
"Yeah," Gelinas added. "Almost like this was some poorly written story and the author was trying to put in some cheap foreshadowing."
"Shut up, Bill," Hughes grumbled before he, too, yawned.
Hughes, thank god, was dressed just the same as the rest of them in his school uniform. It seemed that the horrible costumes the principal had wanted to try to get them to wear during that whole Little America business had reawakened in Hughes an appreciation of dressing normally. Occasionally he might throw on a fancy scarf or other accessory on the weekends, but other than that his mode of dress had returned almost to standard. Heck, they'd even spied him returning to his old stand-by of plaid on one or two occasions.
"I don't know what you all are complaining about," Mike said to his fellows. Upon his head, of course, was his trademark red hat that had been so worn that it was practically held together by sheer stubbornness. He was the only one in the group with an energetic bounce to his step in this otherwise lowly motivated morning walk. "Nothing like that happened to me. Rather than dream of Justy, I slept the sleep of the just!" He grinned happily at the memory of his own dream.
The others could only glare at him. At him and his stupid, stupid pun.
Meg had left early for school this day, and as planned she stopped in a small teahouse not far from the school. She ordered herself a cup and then went to sit at a table where the person she was meeting was already waiting.
"Good morning, Yagami-sensei," she said as she sat.
"Good morning, Megumi," her teacher replied.
They sat sipping their tea.
"Have you thought much yet about your next step?" Yagami-sensei finally asked.
"I don't know," Meg replied. "Things seemed a little awkward for a few days after when I put the heart on his back, so I thought it best to let him calm down for a bit."
Yagami-sensei tisked. "You should have struck more while the iron was still hot."
"I've been friendly to him in class. What more can I do? I only see him in school. It's not like I can jump into his arms in front of the whole class," she pointed out.
"No, I suppose not," Yagami-sensei conceded.
"There is another problem..." Meg admitted.
"Oh?"
"I think he might already have someone he likes," she said. "I met her. She works for my dad."
"That could be a problem. And does she like him back?"
Meg thought back to her meeting with Sarah a few weeks before. "I don't think she knows," she then hazarded.
"So they aren't actually together then?"
"No, I don't think so."
Yagami-sensei then smiled, and clasped her hands together with a loud clap. "Well then, I don't see what the problem is! Until they actually are formerly together, he's fair game. You just need to step up your game, and take more drastic action to get his notice. If he chooses you over her, that is his business. Just make sure that is what he does!"
"Yes, Yagami-sensei!"
The teacher finished her tea, and stood. "I am glad we could have this little chat, Megumi‑chan," she said. "I'll see you in class. Don't be late, now!" And with that, Yagami-sensei departed.
Meg sat sipping her tea a moment before she noticed something. A file folder sitting on the chair Yagami-sensei had vacated. Had it fallen from her teacher's bag? She supposed she should return it. She picked it up, and her eyes fell upon a title written on the folder. "NEW FACULTY RECORDS."
The boys were now walking to school, fresh from their latest stop at Doctor Tofu's office. Mike stretched a bit.
"Feeling anything different, yet?" Hughes asked him.
Mike stretched again, feeling it in the joints that Tofu had been poking and prodding over the last few weeks. He was starting to feel really grateful that he'd gotten a good sleep the previous night because, unlike his fellows who were by now starting to wake up a bit more, he now felt like he could use a few more hours of sleep. "I dunno," he replied. "I do feel a little weird, lately."
Aaron eyed Mike with a critical eye. "You're not... This is going to sound stupid..."
"What?" Mike asked.
"Well..." Aaron said, "shorter?" Then he quickly added, "Just a bit!"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Mike exclaimed.
"Oh thank god," Gelinas then said, however. "I had been thinking the same thing. I just didn't want to say anything, 'cause then you'd just say..."
"Shut up, Bill," Mike helpfully provided. Then, to everyone, he insisted, "I am not getting shorter! Come on, let's get a move on, or we'll miss the bell."
A plan been forming all day in Matt's mind. But for it, he would need supplies. Fortunately, it seems that an early day had been planned at school today for faculty business which, given his unique situation, Matt was not required to stay for himself. It seemed almost a divine indication to Matt that his plans would be a success.
It should be pretty late in Massachusetts now, so he felt he could chance a brief visit without being seen by anyone who knew he shouldn't be there. But not so late that the grocery store would be shut quite yet. And if he was quiet, he could also sneak into his house to grab a few things he'd been meaning to get anyway while he was in the area.
And so, he chanced a journey through the portable black hole that Kenny had provided. After a trip too weird to spend too much time comfortably contemplating, and somewhat nauseating to boot, he found himself deep in Kenny's Laboratory.
"Man, Kenny was right," he said. "I should leave black hole travel to him and just send him requests for supplies."
But this was an emergency, and he was in a slight rush. Not so much of a rush, though, that he couldn't pause to go investigate a flickering light in a distant corner of the lab before going about his errands.
He found Kenny and Becker, sitting in chairs and watching television. Well, Kenny was watching. Becker's chair was reclined and he was snoring lightly.
On the television was something that looked bizarrely like his life, except in this version of it, Matt wasn't the only one that was gender swapped! Also, Perfume was still threatening to kill him. Man, he didn't miss that. Thank goodness Perfume was their friend, now! When it was finished, all Matt could say was, "Woah..."
Hearing this, Kenny jerked his head around to see who had intruded into his sanctum. “Mr. Atanian, what are you doing here?” he whispered, so as not to wake Becker.
“Oh, sorry for the surprise. I was just paying a quick late night visit to retrieve something from home and after I came through the black hole conduit, I saw the flickering lights through the door and figured you must still be up,” Matt explained in a hushed manner.
“How are things in Japan, Mr. Atanian?” Kenny asked.
“Things are okay. The guys are in school right now and class was cancelled at the school I'm teaching at, so since I wasn’t doing much else I figured I'd take care of an errand while everyone in the States was asleep. Let me tell you, those guys were not happy to find out that Japanese schools ran six days a week. How are things here?” Matt asked.
Kenny shrugged, “They are satisfactory. The troop certainly is not as much fun now that you guys are over there, but the Garden Snakes are a resilient bunch. You and the others made sure of that.” Kenny felt he would save explanations that Justy had reshuffled the patrols and that, actually, the Garden Snakes as a formal patrol within Troop 192 were no more, for another time.
“Good to hear," he said with a friendly tap on Kenny's shoulder. Justy, however, seemed to be on Matt's mind anyway, as he then asked, "What about Justy?”
Kenny rolled his eyes, but maybe it would be simpler if Matt didn't know everything that was going on. It wasn't anything too bad, and he didn't need his friends risking their lives rushing to his defence. So he downplayed recent events. “Justy is still Justy and Proctor is still Proctor, though if the upcoming elections change things, it can only be for the better.” Matt didn't need to know that Justy had actually moved up the elections, and that had already won a second term. Let him live in hope.
While he felt bad about the little white lie, as if to confirm to Kenny he'd been right to tell it Matt's next words were, “Well, let us know if there’s anything we can do to help. Just say the word and we’ll be through the mallet-space black hole like a hammer aimed at a pervert.
“Now,” Matt said, gesturing his head toward the large screen, “What’s all this then?”
As Meg sat on the crowded train, she pulled the file folder from her backpack and opened it. This had not been left by accident. Especially since the folder marked "NEW FACULTY RECORDS" only had the record of one faculty member in it.
Mr. Matthew Atanian.
There was an address in it. Somewhere in Massachusetts. That wouldn't be helpful to her, of course. But there was another address... An address in the Nerima ward...
She had missed her own stop about two stops ago, and Meg found she didn't really care. She checked where the train was now. The next stop would be an excellent transfer point. Yes, she knew where she needed to go.
She smiled.
The train pulled into its next stop and the doors opened. She stood and started for the door. Just as she was about to exit the train, however, she was shoved roughly aside from a young kid in what looked like... like a Boy Scout uniform? Not usually an image she associated with such rudeness!
"Make way! Make way!" the boy shouted in English, which Meg understood easily enough, but which many of the others being moved aside seemed rather baffled by. "This way, Captain!" the boy then said.
A second boy in a Boy Scout uniform, this one (unlike the first) Asian, Meg wasn't sure what but she knew he wasn't Japanese, strode forward with a self important step. "Come along," he said to the first. "We must find them!"
"It may not be as big as America, sir, but it is still a big country," the first boy offered.
"Maybe if you hadn't forgotten the address at home, then?" The second boy whacked the first boy in the head with some sort of baton.
"I'm sorry captain!"
Meg didn't hear more as the doors then closed.
With her still on the train.
"Oh..." Meg said. "Drat."
She sighed. There wasn't much else she could do. The whole thing had put her rather out of sorts, and she wasn't the only one, as a few people in business suits were looking about rather confused.
She returned to her seat and glanced at her watch. Probably take about an hour for the train to loop back around, then another train to get to the Clock Hill station... It would take a little while, but she'd get there. And when she did...
As she sat back down, with only her own thoughts for company as she gazed out through the windows at the urban landscape going by, Meg smiled.
Some time later, Matt finally returned back through the portal to Japan. He'd been a bit longer then he had planned, getting distracted watching some stuff with Kenny, but he should still have time to do what he planned to do.
Perdue pre-cooked strips of chicken breast, check.
A jar of garlic alfredo sauce, check.
A box of fettuccine, check.
A fresh loaf of Italian bread, check.
Some butter, some spices, and some cheese, check.
A few pots and pans, a hot plate, and a toaster oven, and even in his little six-tatami mat room, and with his limited cooking skills, Matt felt he had the makings of a decent meal.
He turned on his computer and started playing some music. A moment later, to the majestic tones of James Horner, he began to fill a large pot with water.
Sarah was tired when she got home. It had been a long day, proof reading memos being prepared for the American offices and translating Engrish into actual English. Apparently, this had been quite a problem in the past, something Mr. Kataki said he found personally embarrassing when he had been on the receiving end at the American offices, and he was determined that it would not happen again since he had returned to the home office.
Yes, it wasn't exactly running a marathon, but it could be quite taxing on the brain sometimes trying to figure out what was supposed to be being conveyed and coming up with acceptable language to do so properly.
"Hungry," Sarah said to herself.
Sniff, sniff, her nose said. What was that in the air? A touch of garlic?
Her mind drifted back to this morning's conversation with Matt. Oh dear god, had she agreed to have dinner with him? What was she thinking?
Still...
Sniff, sniff...
Curiosity got the better of her, and she ascended the stairs to the second floor. A figure clad in a yukata was sitting seiza before the door to room 5, with a pair of chopsticks being held pinched between his nose and his upper lip.
"Ah, hello, Ms. Porter," Mr. Yotsuya said, deftly catching the chopsticks between two of his fingers as they fell when he spoke.
"Mr. Yotsuya," Sarah replied in greeting. And then she asked, "What are you doing?"
"Can you believe the indignity of it?" Mr. Yotsuya asked. "This fine olfactory assault, and my entry into young Mr. Atanian's room has been forbidden! He has even blocked off the portal between our chambers!"
"You mean the giant hole you keep putting in the wall?" Sarah asked.
"It is an important portal for cultural and culinary exchange," Mr. Yotsuya insisted.
"It's a bloody great hole," Sarah replied.
Mr. Yotsuya simply offered a curt, "Hmmph." He then stood and marched off to his own room, shutting the door behind himself.
Once silence otherwise overcame the hallway, a slight sizzling sound made its way to Sarah's ears. Something was going on in there, all right. Something... tasty.
Sudden indecision overcame Sarah. Should she knock? Should she go to her room and wait to be invited up? Should she just go to her room and... well... not like she had other dinner plans, she supposed. It would be awfully cruel if Matt went to all of this effort for her and she declined to at least try it. It was only being polite, right? No need to read anything else into it, right?
Just then, the door opened. Matt stood there, having been about to come out but then, after noticing Sarah, he jumped a bit, splashing himself with water from the pot he was carrying.
The two stared at one another for a moment.
"Hello," Sarah said.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" Matt said. The moment having passed, the realization that he had just splashed himself with rather hot water had begun to sink in. Mind you, in the current situation, Matt would certainly have found cold water worse! But still, there's hot and there's too hot!
"Oh... Oh god," Sarah said. "Are you okay?"
"Hot... hot..." Matt said. He shuffled past her to the sink on the opposite side of the hallway and dumped the contents of the pot into a strainer he had had waiting. Steam enveloped him as he did so, fogging his glasses. Matt put the pot down, pulled his glasses off, and wiped them with the bottom of his shirt.
"You didn't burn yourself, did you?" Sarah asked with genuine concern. His arm looked a bit red where the water had sloshed onto it. "Maybe we should run some cold water over that?"
Matt looked up sharply, his eyes as wide as a deer's in headlights. "No!" he exclaimed. "No cold water!"
"Ooookay," Sarah replied to that. Matt gets really weird when he cooks, she thought to herself. Hopefully, it'll be worth it...
Matt blinked a bit, put his glasses back on, and rubbed his arm slightly. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to shout. Just... Well, things should be ready in just a little while. You just got in, right? Why not go down to your room, relax a little bit, and I can bring everything down when it's ready? I don't really have a table to sit at in my room, after all."
"Oh, right, that makes sense," Sarah thought. "So... I'll see you in a little while then?"
"Yup!" Matt replied. "Maybe ten or fifteen minutes!" And with that, he disappeared back into his room.
Sarah turned and started to walk away. Her stride was interrupted when she heard a shout from behind Matt's door. "YOTSUYA! No! That's not for you!" She chuckled softly to herself and continued on her way.
Although Kirstin kept their set of rooms fairly clean, Sarah couldn't help but futz around a bit in anticipation of her impending visitor. Since she was keeping needlessly busy the time flew by, and thus she was actually startled when there was a knock at her door.
Oh god, what should she do now?
Oh god, why was she acting like an indecisive little schoolgirl?
Damn it, Sarah, she said to herself, you're a grown adult. This is no one special. It's just Matt. Let him in, eat his food, tell him it was lovely, and send him on his way. How hard can it be?
She took a breath, composed herself, and opened the door.
Matt stood waiting on the other side of the door.
In each of his hands he held a glass of chocolate milk, and balanced atop each glass was a plate. Upon each plate was a steamy pile if noodles. A creamy, garlicky scent wafted up towards her nostrils.
"Come in," Sarah said.
Matt had finally succeeded in getting Mr. Yotsuya back out of his room, and then regarded the reopened hole in his wall with some annoyance. He didn't have long to do this, though, as the toaster oven suddenly gave off a ding!
"Aah!" he rushed over to the toaster oven and pulled out the mozzarella covered garlic bread he'd been cooking inside. He took it out. It was perfect! That being the final thing, he assembled two plates, got beverages to go with them, and made his way down the staircase.
As he stood outside of Sarah's door, a meal in each hand, he realized a slight flaw in his plan. How was he going to knock? He thought about just shouting Sarah's name, but that seemed a bit rude. He then contemplated head butting the door or kneeing it a few times, before settling on a few short kicks.
The door opened, and Sarah stood on the other side. She was wearing just simple pants and a tee-shirt, and hadn't updated her make-up or hair at all beyond the professional look she had developed for her office work, but to Matt she still looked beautiful.
"Come in," she said, and Matt did so. As Sarah closed the door behind him they heard a knock at the front door of the building, but they paid it no mind, as surely someone else would answer it.
"Won't you sit down?" Sarah asked. They had room in their apartment for a small table and chairs, for which Matt was grateful. Sitting cross-legged on the floor was a bit uncomfortable for him. He walked over to the table and placed the food and drink down upon it.
Sarah sat down at one side of the table, and Matt at the other. She looked down at the plate in front of her, and couldn't help but to smile. "This looks really good!" she said. She couldn't help but sounding a bit surprised, but if Matt noticed he took no offense.
Rather, Matt couldn't help but blush slightly. "Aww, I don't know about that," he said. "It's mostly precooked stuff or stuff out of a box. I'm no chef on Kirstin's level."
A mental penguin kicked Matt's brain. And how would Matt know how good a cook Kirstin is? it asked him.
Fortunately, either Sarah didn't notice the faux pas, or just assumed that her sister's reputation was enough that it may be common knowledge. "Well, even if it isn't all from scratch," she said, "it certainly smells good. So it should hopefully taste the same way."
Matt wasn't quite sure what to say to this. The concept of Sarah complementing him or anything he did (in his male form, at least) was rather alien to him, after all. However, he was saved from having to come up with a response by a knock at Sarah's door.
"Who could...?" Sarah pondered. She wasn't expecting Nicole or Kirstin for a while, and she couldn't think who else it could possibly be. Matt's curiosity got the better of him and he followed Sarah and stood beside her as she opened the door.
Mr. Yotsuya stood there. An inscrutable expression was upon his face, and in his hands he carried a glass of chocolate milk and an additional plate of chicken alfredo he had no doubt assembled from what extra had remained upstairs in Matt's room.
"Ah, young Mr. Atanian and Ms. Porter," he said in greeting.
"Mr. Yotsuya?" Matt asked.
"This is... um..." Sarah seemed flustered. "This is a surprise."
Matt gathered a small measure of courage from somewhere. "Didn't I tell you that food was not for you?" he managed to ask.
"Of course," the Japanese man replied, with an affectation of pleasantry to his voice. "I would not dream of interrupting your meal. I just thought you would like an additional plate for your other guest."
"Other...?" Matt began, but he was interrupted as a small figure revealed itself from behind Mr. Yotsuya, rushed forward, and grabbed Matt in a tight embrace.
"Matt-sensei!"
"M... Meg?"
Perry exited the kitchen and entered the dining room of the Cat Cafe. That stupid Mousse had accidentally sprayed him with water from the sink. He was glad that, since being cursed, he had taken to wearing somewhat unisex clothes, but still, he would prefer dry clothes. Stupid Mousse.
Meanwhile, a few customers were coming into the restaurant, but Perry paid this no mind as he was on a mission to go to his room and get new clothes.
"Here," one of the customers said, speaking English. Having lived in America for such an extended period recently, this didn't strike Perry as odd, and he continued on his path without giving it any thought. "This looks like a good place to eat."
"I suppose it will suffice."
"We can continue searching after dinner, okay Captain?"
"Of course! Nothing will stop me from finding those insolent little... YOU!!!"
Perry's attention finally fell upon the customers as he somehow sensed that the last word had been directed at him, and it was then that he noticed exactly who it was that had entered the Cat Cafe.
No.
Oh, no.
"PEON #17!!!" Justy shouted, poking a finger in Perry's direction.
Cologne, curious about the ruckus, came bouncing over, hopping perched atop her walking staff.
"If you are here, the others must be close! Tell me! WHERE ARE THE GARDEN SNAKES?!?!"
Perry looked left and right, unable to see an avenue of escape.
"I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!" Justy spat, practically frothing at the mouth.
"Granddaughter?" Cologne said.
Perry's head whipped towards the tiny old woman in panic.
"Granddaughter, is this true?"
Author's Notes & Disclaimers
Hello, gang! Long time! (Not that this has never happened before. Sorry!) Anyway, first, the usual disclaimers!
Boy Scouts ½ is not endorsed by or intended to reflect the values of the Boy Scouts of America.
Elements of Takahashi Rumiko's works Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku are used without permission. Another Takahashi work, Urusei Yatsura (which does still exist as a fictional work within the continuity of the Boy Scouts ½ universe) also formed the basis of one of this story's dream sequences. Other dream sequences were inspired by the James Bond film series, the classic text based computer game Zork, and Alice in Wonderland. (With a touch, of course, of The X-Files.)
It had been a while since I'd written dream sequences for Matt and the boys. They were a late addition to this story, along with the opening scene with Justy and Proctor at the airport. As I was originally writing the story, it started with the scene between Matt and Sarah in the morning. But as the story continued, I was starting to feel it was a little too "Matt & Sarah" centric, and so it was nice to find a little more for the boys to do, even if what they were doing was dreaming.
I'd noticed I'd developed a slight theme with the types of dreams the characters have, and so I did my best not to deviate from that here. Matt, of course, usually has dreams involving penguins guilt tripping him over Sarah. And so Urusei Yatsura's character of Ten-chan here became Pen-chan. Other names seemed to alter a bit too easily. I share initials with the show's main male character, and so Moroboshi Ataru became Matthewboshi Atay-ru. Shinobu into Sarah-bu also was fairly easy. Lumeg (a combination of Lum and Meg) seemed a bit of a stretch, name-wise... but eh, whatever. Interestingly, it does seem fated, since I based Megumi's physical description off of Lum in the first place. Basically, take Lum, remove her horns and fangs, and you have Megumi.
Aaron had dreamed himself at least one other Sean Connery movie hero before, in the form of the ill fated Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez from Highlander. So it seemed fitting to me that he should also take on Connery's most famous role. I borrowed a few elements from Connery era Bond, such as the classic Aston Martin, the location of the car chase, and "Proc-Job" being a rather dumb combination of Proctor and Odd-Job. A bit of Lazenby crept in too, as the gun "Yungfeld" used was the one was used in the attempted assassination of James Bond and the murder of his wife Tracy. And, of course, Yungfeld himself is another dumb combo, of Justy Yung with Ernst Stavro Blofeld who, until recently, had only been in the Connery / Lazenby era films (aside from an unnamed-for-legal-reasons brief cameo in one Moore film).
For some reason, Gelinas dreams in video games, it seems. And often older ones that may be seen as before his time. This time he is dreaming a Justy Yung corrupted version of the classic text based adventure Zork. I actually found an online version of Zork while I was writing, and played it a very tiny bit to copy some of the things the game said. I never knew before that a Grue could eat you in the house! Of course, I'd never been stupid enough to go into the upper floor without a lantern before...
And finally... Mike. Well... He's Mike. Mike wants Scully. What more needs to be said?
If the scene where Matt goes into Kenny's Laboratory seems familiar, it is because it overlaps a bit with Jason Bertovich's story Of Possible Alternatives. Thus, for those who care about matters of chronology, it can be surmised that these two stories happen concurrently.
The reason for the delay in the writing of this story isn't solely due to my usual occasional bouts of procrastination. Not to say that that didn't play a large part in it, I'll admit. But I also had a rather large life change occur of a personal nature which I'd rather not get into towards the world at large. People with a personal connection to me already know what's up. All anyone else needs to know is that, while I was in a bit of an unhappy place for a bit, I have come through it and am doing quite well now.
One last bit of business. A few months ago, a sad event occurred in that Mr. Mark Abert passed away. Although I will admit I lost touch with him in recent years, I still thought well of him and remembered his friendship fondly. His contributions to Boy Scouts ½ as both inspiration for an important reoccurring character and author of a few stories were not insignificant, and yet compared to all else he did were but a drop in the bucket of what he accomplished in his life. To repeat what I said on the BS½ website in the immediate aftermath: "This is a sad event... but also, it is a time to remember Mark, and the joy that he brought to everyone around him. So rather than mourn, I encourage anyone reading this to celebrate Mark. After all, he isn't really gone, not as long as we remember him. (And yes, I think he'd appreciate me referencing Star Trek on his behalf.)"
And in that spirit, I dedicate this story to Mark's memory.
See you again soon. (Probably!) Until next time!
Boy Scouts ½ is not endorsed by or intended to reflect the values of the Boy Scouts of America.
Elements of Takahashi Rumiko's works Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku are used without permission. Another Takahashi work, Urusei Yatsura (which does still exist as a fictional work within the continuity of the Boy Scouts ½ universe) also formed the basis of one of this story's dream sequences. Other dream sequences were inspired by the James Bond film series, the classic text based computer game Zork, and Alice in Wonderland. (With a touch, of course, of The X-Files.)
It had been a while since I'd written dream sequences for Matt and the boys. They were a late addition to this story, along with the opening scene with Justy and Proctor at the airport. As I was originally writing the story, it started with the scene between Matt and Sarah in the morning. But as the story continued, I was starting to feel it was a little too "Matt & Sarah" centric, and so it was nice to find a little more for the boys to do, even if what they were doing was dreaming.
I'd noticed I'd developed a slight theme with the types of dreams the characters have, and so I did my best not to deviate from that here. Matt, of course, usually has dreams involving penguins guilt tripping him over Sarah. And so Urusei Yatsura's character of Ten-chan here became Pen-chan. Other names seemed to alter a bit too easily. I share initials with the show's main male character, and so Moroboshi Ataru became Matthewboshi Atay-ru. Shinobu into Sarah-bu also was fairly easy. Lumeg (a combination of Lum and Meg) seemed a bit of a stretch, name-wise... but eh, whatever. Interestingly, it does seem fated, since I based Megumi's physical description off of Lum in the first place. Basically, take Lum, remove her horns and fangs, and you have Megumi.
Aaron had dreamed himself at least one other Sean Connery movie hero before, in the form of the ill fated Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez from Highlander. So it seemed fitting to me that he should also take on Connery's most famous role. I borrowed a few elements from Connery era Bond, such as the classic Aston Martin, the location of the car chase, and "Proc-Job" being a rather dumb combination of Proctor and Odd-Job. A bit of Lazenby crept in too, as the gun "Yungfeld" used was the one was used in the attempted assassination of James Bond and the murder of his wife Tracy. And, of course, Yungfeld himself is another dumb combo, of Justy Yung with Ernst Stavro Blofeld who, until recently, had only been in the Connery / Lazenby era films (aside from an unnamed-for-legal-reasons brief cameo in one Moore film).
For some reason, Gelinas dreams in video games, it seems. And often older ones that may be seen as before his time. This time he is dreaming a Justy Yung corrupted version of the classic text based adventure Zork. I actually found an online version of Zork while I was writing, and played it a very tiny bit to copy some of the things the game said. I never knew before that a Grue could eat you in the house! Of course, I'd never been stupid enough to go into the upper floor without a lantern before...
And finally... Mike. Well... He's Mike. Mike wants Scully. What more needs to be said?
If the scene where Matt goes into Kenny's Laboratory seems familiar, it is because it overlaps a bit with Jason Bertovich's story Of Possible Alternatives. Thus, for those who care about matters of chronology, it can be surmised that these two stories happen concurrently.
The reason for the delay in the writing of this story isn't solely due to my usual occasional bouts of procrastination. Not to say that that didn't play a large part in it, I'll admit. But I also had a rather large life change occur of a personal nature which I'd rather not get into towards the world at large. People with a personal connection to me already know what's up. All anyone else needs to know is that, while I was in a bit of an unhappy place for a bit, I have come through it and am doing quite well now.
One last bit of business. A few months ago, a sad event occurred in that Mr. Mark Abert passed away. Although I will admit I lost touch with him in recent years, I still thought well of him and remembered his friendship fondly. His contributions to Boy Scouts ½ as both inspiration for an important reoccurring character and author of a few stories were not insignificant, and yet compared to all else he did were but a drop in the bucket of what he accomplished in his life. To repeat what I said on the BS½ website in the immediate aftermath: "This is a sad event... but also, it is a time to remember Mark, and the joy that he brought to everyone around him. So rather than mourn, I encourage anyone reading this to celebrate Mark. After all, he isn't really gone, not as long as we remember him. (And yes, I think he'd appreciate me referencing Star Trek on his behalf.)"
And in that spirit, I dedicate this story to Mark's memory.
See you again soon. (Probably!) Until next time!