Perspectives III:
The Bouncy Goddess Counseling Service
by Jason Bertovich
©2015 by Jason Bertovich and Matthew Atanian
Boy Scouts ½ created by Matthew Atanian
Perspectives created by Jason Bertovich
The Bouncy Goddess Counseling Service
by Jason Bertovich
©2015 by Jason Bertovich and Matthew Atanian
Boy Scouts ½ created by Matthew Atanian
Perspectives created by Jason Bertovich
The story so far…
This is the story of Jason Bertovich, a wholly unremarkable, and certainly not the most successful software sales clerk to ever come to Holyoke, Massachusetts. He had a problem. He was unhappy and unsatisfied with his life as a whole. He was increasingly of the opinion that leaving his home in western Pennsylvania had been a bad move.
That was about to change.
To tell the story of Jason, it’s also important to tell the story of some of the people he has encountered during his time in Massachusetts. A girl from Springfield was one of them, though as our story has progressed, they no more know their destinies than a slice of food court pizza knows the history of the Roman Empire. Her name is Nicole Porter and she will reenter our story in about 20,000 words and say “Ow!”
Jason and Nicole’s story is no doubt an important one, but it is only one of three separate but undeniably entwined tales involving other residents of Holyoke and their unexpected impact on a much larger and much stranger universe around them. To understand what these other stories are and how they are connected to the unfolding tale of Jason and Nicole, it is necessary to take a step back in time, back to the day before Jason and Nicole’s path first crossed and possibly even further back than that. Perhaps, before this story reaches its conclusion, a lot further back.
Now is the time to tell the story of a young woman from Holyoke, the man who watched her from afar, and how, in reality, neither were the things they portrayed themselves to be…
This is the story of Jason Bertovich, a wholly unremarkable, and certainly not the most successful software sales clerk to ever come to Holyoke, Massachusetts. He had a problem. He was unhappy and unsatisfied with his life as a whole. He was increasingly of the opinion that leaving his home in western Pennsylvania had been a bad move.
That was about to change.
To tell the story of Jason, it’s also important to tell the story of some of the people he has encountered during his time in Massachusetts. A girl from Springfield was one of them, though as our story has progressed, they no more know their destinies than a slice of food court pizza knows the history of the Roman Empire. Her name is Nicole Porter and she will reenter our story in about 20,000 words and say “Ow!”
Jason and Nicole’s story is no doubt an important one, but it is only one of three separate but undeniably entwined tales involving other residents of Holyoke and their unexpected impact on a much larger and much stranger universe around them. To understand what these other stories are and how they are connected to the unfolding tale of Jason and Nicole, it is necessary to take a step back in time, back to the day before Jason and Nicole’s path first crossed and possibly even further back than that. Perhaps, before this story reaches its conclusion, a lot further back.
Now is the time to tell the story of a young woman from Holyoke, the man who watched her from afar, and how, in reality, neither were the things they portrayed themselves to be…
Suspect Observation, Day 30…
It was a Saturday. The Holyoke Mall was full of weekend shoppers taking advantage of their day free from obligations to engage in commerce. Down in the Mall’s food court those same shoppers took breaks from boosting Holyoke’s economy to refuel and re-energize before continuing with their day.
Mixed amongst those shoppers were other souls who were not free of obligations that day. Their obligations were that of service to those shoppers. They were mall employees. In the food court, however, those obligations were on hold as they too were there refuel and re-energize before continuing with their day of labor, and so it was there that three such souls had convened together this afternoon.
The three of them sat at a table made to seat four people comfortably. Each had a tray sitting in front of them which, piled upon them, were food wrappers and mostly empty Styrofoam beverage containers advertising the various food vendors found inside the Holyoke Mall food court.
There were two young men, one Caucasian with a shaggy mop of reddish brown hair that flopped unceremoniously in front of his glasses, the other man was half-Asian with black hair that was meticulously combed to the left side of his head. Joining them was a young woman, also Asian, sporting a rather curvy frame and shiny black hair.
The three were conversing and had been doing so, rather animatedly, for the last twenty minutes. They did not appear to be aware that from three tables away, they were being watched, nor had they realized that they and the young woman in particular had been watched from afar for the last several weeks.
From behind The Union News’ sports page, a pair of eyes covered by pitch-black sunglasses kept the trio in the periphery while trying to feign interest in sporting contests featuring orange birds, giant fish, and Native Americans, whilst making mental notes of their activities. His ears were trained on the three, as they conversed about their apparent hatred of serving other mortals, and possibly the two males dueling to the death to win the affections of the woman, though the tone seemed too jovial for such a weighty subject, so that part of the conversation was probably in jest.
Finally, the woman stood up and declared that if the pale one didn’t arrive at her domicile at a designated time of eight PM that evening, she would incinerate him with what she described as “bouncy bolts of lightning.” The other two didn’t appear intimidated at this declaration, which didn’t surprise the watcher despite knowing the person making the threat was no stranger to incineration. He could not recall, however, there ever being any involvement of lightning bolts, bouncy or otherwise. The watcher assumed this was also in jest, though if her companions had known her as well as the watcher had, the two men would most likely not find the joke very amusing.
She walked away from the table, leaving the food court with a bounce in her gait. A few moments later, the other two returned to conversing amongst themselves. The watcher waited patiently for a few moments, allowing some time after her departure to pass before he closed the paper, folded it down, and set it on the table. He then sat up, adjusted his black trench coat, folded the newspaper again, tucked it under his arm, and departed the food court himself. Her companions gave him or his departure little if any scrutiny or suspicion.
Leaving the food court area, the man spotted the woman making her way toward one of the stores, the one that employed her – Filene's. He had overheard her say that she wanted to talk to one of the stock clerks, so he was pretty sure she was heading toward the store’s stock room. The man had memorized the shopping mall’s structure during his month-long observation, so as she crossed the store’s entrance threshold, he broke off his pursuit and instead headed for a service exit that led to the store’s rear loading area.
Standing outside the wall that separated him from the stock room, he quickly looked about his person. Seeing that no one around, he placed his palms on the wall. He took a deep breath and furrowed his brow in concentration. Soon his form - clothes, glasses, body, and all – began to fade, becoming a smoky shadow in the shape of a person. Spaghetti-like tendrils of shadow began extend from the shadow’s ‘arms’ and began to seep into the exterior wall, eventually vanishing from sight.
A moment later, the bipedal shadow emerged inside the Filene’s stockroom, passing through the wall and nondescript shelves of merchandise. As soon as it reformed itself, it whisked itself toward a nearby corner, completely blending with the natural shadows that lurked in the odd corners of the stock room due to the poorly maintained florescent lights. In those shadows, he waited and watched.
He would not have to wait long.
Fenny Lin, Filene's sales clerk, charter member of the Holyoke Refugees of Employment Hell, widely regarded relationship expert, and self-professed bouncy goddess, had departed her H.R.E.H. meeting with Jason and John early to see to a prior scheduled request.
She was due back from her all too short lunch break in less than ten minutes, and knowing the person she was meeting as well as she did, she was going to need every single one of those remaining minutes. As she entered the cool, musty stock room of Filene's, the fluorescent lighting high above her flickered, giving the shelves of merchandise a slightly dark, almost sinisterly claustrophobic feel.
“David, you here?” Fenny called out as she walked between two shelves that held various small appliances.
“Fenny?” another voice called back. A skinny man with a head of short, curly dirty blonde hair and wearing an argyle sweater vest and tan chinos ducked his head around a corner and then smiled.
“There you are!” Fenny said with a smile. She bounced down the aisle between the shelves toward the man.
“Fenny-honey, my bouncy love guru! God am I glad to see you. Kisses,” he said as he met her in the aisle and the pair pretended to kiss each other on both cheeks while briefly embracing each other.
“So, what is it this time, David?” Fenny asked, her voice shifting to a tone that indicated she was all business.
“Harold’s being a jerk, again,” David stated, exasperated.
Fenny huffed and rolled her eyes. “Didn’t we just have this exact conversation last week?”
David crossed his arms defiantly. “Well, he’s still being a jerk, Fenny.”
“No, he’s still in the closet. You know he’s still in the closet. You told me last time that you accepted that he’s still in the closet. I’m sorry, David, that he’s not as open about himself as you are, but it’s his decision and it’s not your place to make him out himself. When he’s ready, he’s ready.”
David frowned and then jammed his hands into his pockets sullenly. “Whose side are you on, Fenny?”
Fenny narrowed her eyes into a stern look. “I thought you wanted advice, David? Sounds like you just want someone to tell you that you’re right and that you deserve to have everything your way. Tell you what, if that’s all you need, then for twenty bucks I’ll burn a CD with a recording of me telling you how right you are so you can hear it every time you want to pretend you’re seeking advice.”
“Brrrrr! That’s icy,” David said with a mildly hurt expression.
“Well, I never mastered the art of self-deluding bullshit like a lot of other people, so I’m not very skilled at delivering it on demand. Now, on the other hand, if you want actual advice, I can offer that. Just understand that it might not be want you want to hear. If what you really want is empathy, I can give that too, but you’ll need to understand that while I’ll listen and try to understand, I still might not agree with you. In either case, you need to be honest and actually tell me what you really want. Don’t tell me you want one and then expect me to provide the other. So, what is it, David? Empathy or advice?” Fenny asked as she leaned against a shelf.
David sighed. He too took a leaning position against the shelves behind him. He dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a half-crumpled pack of Salem Lights. He slid one from out of the pack and placed it in his lips. He lit it with a monogrammed Zippo lighter he had produced from his other pocket and then tossed the pack over to Fenny. “Can it be both?” he asked seriously.
Fenny grabbed the pack from the air and pulled out a cigarette for herself. After lighting it with her own disposable Bic, she took a long drag on it and exhaled a stream of grey smoke before tossing the pack back to David. “These things will kill you, you know,” she said with a gallows smile.
David shrugged and put the packet back in his front pants pocket. “Who wants to live forever?”
“You’d be surprised,” Fenny said enigmatically. After taking another drag, she looked to David and sadly smiled. “I feel for you, David. I can understand the frustration of loving someone and only wanting to be able to declare that love out loud and never being able to. I know it particularly hurts when the obstacle in the way of doing such is the person you love. You’re wondering why they can’t commit themselves to you like you have to them. Why does everyone else’s opinion matter so much more to them instead of yours? Why won’t they just say ‘I love you and I don’t care who knows.’
“It sucks, but the simple fact is that Harold’s not ready to do that yet. I’m don’t think it’s because he doesn’t love you. After seeing you both last time, I’m pretty he does. I think he’s scared. He’s had everyone telling him his whole life that his feelings are wrong and evil and that if he admits he has those feelings than he must be wrong and evil. No one wants to feel like that’s how the rest of the world sees them, so he hides who he really is.
“Love isn’t easy, David. Being in love doesn’t mean everything instantly goes the way you want it and everything is now perfect. Loving someone means accepting everything that comes along with that person, both the good and bad. It also means being honest with them and telling them about the things that hurt and bother you. Sometimes, those things can change and sometimes they can’t.
“Ultimately, it’ll come down to you. You’ll need to make a decision. Do the things that bother you have greater weight than the feelings of love you have for that person? If they do, then you might have to accept that it’s not healthy for you to be together. And if it doesn’t, then you should put your focus on the thing that’s more important since the other clearly isn’t.
“Maybe someday Harold will come out, loudly and proudly say to the world that he loves you. Maybe he never will. It’s up to you to decide if him not being able to do that impacts how much you love him. If you can’t love him any more because of that, then you’ll need to tell him so. Then he’ll need to decide if he gives more importance to your love or to alleviating his fears. If his fears are more important, then you’ll probably agree that you being together is not what’s best for either of you and you’ll both need to move on from each other.
“And if you move on, then maybe you’ll meet someone who’s as out in the open as you, David, and I hope that person makes you happy, but he won’t be Harold.” Fenny then finished her cigarette and crushed it out with her shoe.
David stood there, his own cigarette almost smoldering between his fingers. After absorbing Fenny’s words, he took a final drag from it and then tossed it to the concrete floor to crush it with his Doc Martins. “I just want him to love himself as much as I love him,” he finally said, quietly.
Fenny nodded solemnly. “I know, David. Sometimes all you can do is show someone how much they’re loved and hope they pick up on the clue.”
“How long should someone wait for that to happen?” David asked, his eyes studying his crushed cigarette on the floor.
Fenny could only shrug. “That, I can’t answer. As I said, that’s something you’ll need to answer for yourself.” She then walked over to David and took his head in her hands. She stood on her the tips of her toes and planted a gentle kiss on David’s forehead. “And if you don’t know the answer yet, then sometimes all you can do is have a little faith that it will all work out in the end,” she said with a warm smile.
The kiss seemed to have an instantaneous effect on David. Immediately, the worry and doubt that had been etched on his face was replaced with calm serenity. It was as if he knew, down in the core of his being, that he was worried for no good reason and soon, very soon, he would find the world right again. He smiled sheepishly and nodded.
Fenny chuckled a little. “It also doesn’t hurt if someone or something up there takes interest and gives the occasional helpful hand.”
David arched a curious eyebrow. “I wouldn’t have thought you would be one for talk like that.”
Fenny shrugged enigmatically. “I believe in a lot of things.”
David nodded slowly then frowned. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make assumptions. I’m just used to people who talk about belief telling me how they believe I’m going to some Hell that they believe in because of who I am.”
“I prefer to believe in love. Love’s pretty non-judgmental. As for Hell, well, I’m pretty sure no one was ever sent there because they loved someone,” Fenny stated confidently.
“I like the sound of your church. Can I join it?” David asked playfully.
Fenny laughed lightly. “I’ll put in a good word for you with our Pope. If he likes ya, he’ll let me teach you the secret handshake and all the dirty hymns.”
“You’re a sweetheart, Fenny,” David said and then gave her a warm embrace. Fenny returned the embrace then after releasing him, she checked her watch and frowned.
“Oh! I’m sorry. You were on lunch break, weren’t you? Are you late punching back in?” David asked apologetically.
“No biggie, darlin’,” Fenny said with a dismissive shrug. “Michelle will overlook it since I helped her to finally work up the courage to talk to Douglas at the Jewelry counter. I better get back though. Don’t want to push my luck. You gonna be okay?”
David smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I think it’s gonna be alright. I’m going to tell Harold that I love him when I get home. That feels like the right thing to do.”
Fenny smiled. “I think so too.”
The pair then walked away. David went back down the aisles to check stock, and Fenny walked back toward the employee time clock to punch back in. A few moments after the pair departed, the wispy, smoky shadow floated from the darkened corner, briefly hovered over the crushed cigarettes, and then melted back into the shelves from where it had originally emerged into the room.
Emerging on the other side of the wall, the shadow rematerialized into the form of the lanky man dressed in the black trench coat and sunglasses. Immediately, he slumped his back against the wall and slid down into a slouched seated position on the cold ground. He took a few deep breaths and remained there, eventually running his fingers through his short spiked hair.
Dammit, Feng Ni La! The watcher cursed to himself. There was no doubt what he had just witnessed. The look of serenity and clarity on that man’s face. The subtle discharge of spiritual energy, invisible to all but those trained to sense it. That was no ordinary kiss. That was a Goddess’ blessing - a divine favor that had been granted to that mortal.
The watcher slammed his fist against the wall behind him, gritting his teeth, revealing a pair of elongated canines. He quietly cursed again to himself. Ten more hours. Ten more measly hours and he could’ve gotten through this assignment with both his honor intact and her reputation restored. Why’d she have to go and kiss him?
The watcher looked upward from his seated position and sighed. All his thoughts turned back to a month ago when he was summoned to meet with an angel. The same angel he was going to meet with in ten hours and report what he had just witnessed.
Thirty Days Prior…
“He’ll see you now, Mr. Ty,” A Dryad receptionist with sharp, angular, yet feminine features and long silvery hair said.
The watcher looked up from the seventy-eight year-old issue of the Saturday Evening Post that he had been casually flipping through and nodded. That was the watcher’s name, though no “mister” was needed as his kind only had one name each. He tossed the pristine magazine back on the end table and stood up from his seat on the wonderfully comfortable leather couch. He adjusted his trench coat slightly, gave the nymph-like receptionist a polite smile, and walked through the door past her desk.
When he walked into the next room, he found the being he had come to meet standing in front of the room’s large picture window that almost took up the entire back wall. Outside was a stunning view of the electric neon lights of Tokyo, the city’s famed tower lit up like a sword of light. When Ty entered, the person turned away from the view and looked at him.
The person enjoying the stunning site was neither a mortal man, nor a god. He was someone who had come after the gods, but before men. He was an angel. The First Angel, in fact, thus the name given to him: Seraphim the First. Appearance-wise, Seraphim was, well, angelic. His hair was long, golden colored, and it tied into a tidy ponytail. His golden beard was immaculately trimmed. A pair of delicate wire-rimmed spectacles rested upon his face. His features were fatherly, both austere and stern, but also tinged with concern and warmth. His Armani suit was charcoal gray and custom tailored, allowing his pristine white dove’s wings that extended from his back to move unfettered.
“Please, Mr. Ty, take a seat,” Seraphim offered, gesturing toward the left side of the room, which was two feet higher than rest of the room, surrounded by fine mahogany railing, and connected by a short set of steps. Upon this raised section of the room, a pair of plush leather chairs that faced a magnificently large oak desk sat.
Ty nodded politely and walked toward the offered chair. He studied his surroundings. The room was large and magnificent, as was everything in it. The bookcases that lined the walls were expertly built and crafted, and the tomes that rested on the shelves looked impressively old and expensive. Throughout the room hung paintings, ranging from Renaissance masterpieces to early impressionists and even modern avant-garde, each a wonderful example of its genre. The rugs that covered the luxuriously polished hard wood floors were ornate, intricate, and plush. As offices went, it was nice.
And none of it actually existed. The furniture, the art, the books – all fake. Even the view, well not the actual view as it technically did exist, but the room from which the view was being observed - that wasn’t real. The room and everything within were all just metaphysical constructs - quasi-spaces and objects that existed outside what was comically called “reality.” As far as metaphysical constructs went, however, it was nice.
Ty sat down in the offered chair. He took off his sunglasses and tucked them into his coat’s interior pocket, revealing a pair of yellow, cat-like eyes. Seraphim took a seat behind the desk, sitting down into a beautiful leather office chair that accommodated his frame, wings and all, with no difficulty or apparent discomfort on the angel’s part. Seraphim studied Ty for a moment, bringing his steeped fingers to his pursed lips before bringing his hands to rest on the desk. “Thank you for coming, Mr. Ty.”
For a moment, all Ty could think was how much Seraphim’s voice sounded like that of the human actor Alan Rickman. Ty dismissed the thought and returned focus to Seraphim himself. “Thank you, sir.” Ty was careful not address to Seraphim by his name. “Mister Seraphim” was dangerously disrespectful and to call him just “Seraphim” was outright forbidden. Angels only allowed those they considered their equals or superiors to address them by their name, and the only beings they considered their equals and superiors were other angels of the same class or higher, the gods and goddesses in the Agency’s employ, or the Head Honcho Himself. Angels expected lower beings to address their superiors as “Sir” or “Ma’am” and they didn’t come any more superior than Seraphim the First, the right hand angel to the Chairperson of the Divine Agency.
Seraphim nodded slightly and the tiniest of smiles crept on his lips at the show of deference by Ty. As quickly as it appeared, it vanished, and Seraphim continued. “Mr. Ty, do you know the origins of the Divine Agency?”
Ty appeared to give the question some thought before answering. Ty knew that this was not an inquiry for information. Everyone within these “halls” knew the origins of the Divine Agency. No, this was a test. Seraphim wasn’t interested in what Ty’s answer would be, but rather how he answered the question.
It was amazing what information you could betray about yourself when answering a question everyone already knew the answer to. Tone, inflection, cadence, the little insertions of personal opinions or insights, they all revealed something to the inquirer other than the answer to the question asked. Ty answered slowly and without emotion. “Well, it was formed following the Great Merger, sir.”
Seraphim nodded and again the tiniest hint of a grin appeared on his lips. He leaned back a little in his chair. “Yes, it was formed after our esteemed Chairperson negotiated the Great Merger with his colleagues. An idea that was once thought impossible and yet, here we are now, almost two millennia of peace firmly behind us. It’s still a wonder,” Seraphim said, slightly wistfully, as if eying something in an imagined distance. He then refocused his attention on Ty in front of him. “Do you know what things were like before the Divine Agency came to be? Before the Great Merger?”
Ty knew the answer to that question as well, but again he chose to parse his response to only the bare facts. “That was before the creation of my kind. I’ve studied the archive, as we all have, but I never experienced that time.”
Seraphim nodded to himself and slowly rotated his chair around so it faced the giant fresco that covered the wall behind his desk. This was the centerpiece of the room and it served its purpose in focusing a visitor’s attention on it and, more importantly, what sat in front of it – Seraphim’s desk. It was a magnificent and exact replica of Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam, though this version did not contain the obvious signs of age and wear that the original in the Sistine Chapel had. Seraphim looked at the painting and began speaking again. “Chaos. “
The room went quiet again with awkward silence. The sole word Seraphim had spoke hung in the air like a discontented balloon. Ty shifted uneasily in his seat. “Pardon?” Ty inquired, unsure if he should be speaking.
“It was chaos, Mr. Ty,” Seraphim stated, still studying the fresco. The chair then spun around and Seraphim stood up, his wings rustling slightly during the motion. “Empires rose and fell, men came to power and conquered all they surveyed - chosen to do such based on mere whims, and wars raged for decades for no reason other than perceived slights. The sun and the stars, the winds and the rains, the seasons and hours, all those concepts controlled by some ‘natural order’ were in constant flux at the mercy of the constantly shifting emotional state of one being or another, sometimes several beings scattered throughout creation.
“Mortals had been fruitful and they had multiplied, and as they spread out and encountered each other, so did their gods and goddesses, their spirits and demons. Mortals found themselves confused and conflicted, as even menial tasks could be ordeals due to demanded deference by their divines. Could you grow your crops if one god would demand sacrificing a calf, but the other demanded sacrificing a virgin, and a third the performance of a ritual dance? Who was right? Who held dominion over the realms of man? The gods of the natives or the gods of those who came and conquered those natives?
“The gods themselves found themselves in conflict with each other, going to war against one another much like the mortals who worshiped them. Raging terrible war throughout the realms of mortals and even burning the heavens themselves to claim a victory, no matter how small.”
Seraphim then returned his gaze to Ty, looking down at him. Ty, feeling slightly at unease, nodded slightly. “I see,” he stated quietly.
Seraphim’s lips formed an almost indistinguishable frown. Almost. He placed his hands behind his back and continued. “Amidst this chaos, our esteemed Chairperson reached out to his colleagues and helped broker a peace, but more than just peace, he brought forth a new idea – a partnership, a collaboration, an unity. Yes, a merger, if you will.
“But this was more than just a partnership amongst the gods new and old. No, this was a call for clarity, for definition, for order. A time to set down just how exactly this glorious creation works. The order of the seasons, the movements of time, the laws of life and death, and so on and so forth.
“Now, this was not an easy transition, by no stretch of the imagination. For every divine being who saw the wisdom of the Chairperson’s concept and how it not only benefited creation, but themselves as well, there were still those who desired the status quo and the anarchy and chaos it brought with it.
“After those elements who desired to undermine this opportunity for peace and order were dealt with, and some redundancies were eliminated, we found ourselves where we are today, at the Chairperson’s vision,” Seraphim then held his hands out in a grand display. “The Divine Agency.”
Ty nodded again, but kept silent. Seraphim seemed content to listen to himself speak and Ty was content to let the angel take his sweet time to get his point. Seraphim straightened his tie slightly and retook his seat. He placed his folded hands on the desk again and gazed at Ty.
“Now, we can all agree that the peace and sense of order we have is a good thing. It does, however, come at a cost. In order to ensure the continued function and operation of our grand endeavor, the Chairperson had to set down some regulations regarding the behavior of himself and his colleagues, in regards to their functions within our organization, but also, and more importantly, concerning their interactions with that of the realms of mortals.”
“It was my understanding that interaction with mortals is not forbidden,” Ty stated. He kept his face neutral and studied Seraphim’s expression for any changes.
Seraphim’s eyes narrowed slightly, but kept his expression calm and his tone even. “Well, yes, that is true. We certainly don’t encourage it, but it is not forbidden for the gods to interact with the mortal realm, as long as they do not reveal their divine nature. Even our esteemed Chairperson enjoys the occasional visit to the mortal realm.
“But while interaction with the mortal realm is not forbidden, when it crosses over into the realm of direct intervention – interference, even - into the affairs of mortals, then that is expressly forbidden.
“Precognition, empathic telepathy, matter creation, teleportation, and altering the laws of probability. Those are just some of the gifts that our divine colleagues possess. Any one of them alone used on behalf of a mortal could drastically alter and shift the balance of power in the mortal realms. Alexander the Great, the Caesars, Genghis Kahn, Xerxes – all beneficiaries of divine blessings, and each altered the world with the force of a cataclysm.
“The truly frightful thing is that even intervening for benign or mundane reasons can have horrible consequences. Once touched by a god, a mortal is forever changed. He or she carries that blessing, that favor, with them throughout their lives and it impacts and influences the events of their lives from that day out, and with it, the lives of everyone around them.
“Remember that nasty business in Europe with that Austrian lunatic? What if a god had blessed him when he was a mere art student? Would he merely have gone on to great fame and fortune as a world famous painter, or would he still have turned to politics, but now carrying a blessing for success? He nearly obtained his bloody dreams of conquest and racial purity and that was without divine forces working in his favor. Can you imagine how it might have turned out if he had been touched by immortal providence? I shudder to think of what fate the realms of mortals narrowly avoided.
“That is the reason why the Chairperson set down the law that none within the Divine Agency may intervene on behalf of a mortal, nor may they interfere in the affairs of mortals. The risk of creation falling back into chaos is too great to allow such behavior to remain unchecked.
“Unfortunately, as we get further and further away from the Great Merger and further still from those dark days before it, we find there are individuals outside our organization whom seem to have no regard for the reasons we have, and enforce, the rules and regulations we have. They believe they can predict and control the outcomes of such violations, or they simply believe that they are above such restrictions. While such incidents have become rarer as time goes by, they do still occur and when such a thing happens, when a being violates that most important law, then their criminal behavior must be stopped, and they must be dealt with.”
“And for that duty, our esteemed organization employs ones such as I,” Ty stated quietly and flatly, as if repeating a fact that had been drilled into a bored schoolchild. He then leaned back slightly in the leather chair and looked at Seraphim with his yellow cat-like eyes.
Seraphim didn’t appear shaken by the interjection. He simply nodded and spoke, “That is correct, Mr. Ty. When it comes to matters of investigation and possible apprehension, we have come to depend greatly on Task Demons such as yourself. You yourself, in particular, are reported to be very gifted in matters such as this. What was the nickname given to you when you were in your first department? ‘Hell’s Bloodhound’, wasn’t it?”
Ty’s eyes narrowed a little. “I preferred my official designation, ‘Advanced Reconnaissance and Tracking Expert’, sir.”
“Of course, my apologies, Mr. Ty. I momentarily forgot your kind’s dislike for the informal and preference for decorum. Please forgive my insensitivity, as no offense was meant,” Seraphim said politely with a slight smile that exuded coldness.
“None taken, sir,” Ty stated, knowing Angels such as Seraphim never said anything unintentionally.
“Oh good. I do hold task demons like you and your brethren in very high regard, you know. The creation of your kind was one of the first acts of the Chairperson after the establishment of the Divine Agency. A nameless, faceless, and shapeless labor force created to aid our esteemed colleagues in the administration and operation of the natural forces of creation. Now, two millennia later, your kind are no longer mere tools, but are seen as valuable members of our organization.”
Ty grinned, exposing his elongated canines. “Thank you, sir. To hear such praise from one such as yourself is very humbling for an old ‘Shadow Angel’ such as myself.”
It was Seraphim’s turn to narrow his eyes. His wings rustled slightly at hearing the old nickname that some of the gods and goddesses gave Ty’s kind before the Divine Agency settled on the official designation of calling his race “Task Demons.” Ty had heard whispered rumors that the designation came at the behest of the Angels within the Agency who saw it as an insult that the gods had come to give such a nickname to such lowly creatures. Judging by Seraphim’s reaction, Ty was pretty sure that the rumor was true. Ty hated using nicknames himself, but a chance to get a verbal jab in at one of the pompous pricks was too satisfying to pass up.
“Well, yes, I imagine it would be,” Seraphim said, proverbial icicles hanging from his words. “Now, I’ve spent far too much time on a history lesson, I should actually tell you why you’ve been summoned today, Mr. Ty.”
“I found it quite enlightening, sir. Your account is much more illuminating than the rather dry version found in the archives,” Ty commented with a sincere expression.
Seraphim blinked once. “Well, that’s, well, I mean…” Seraphim began, slightly flustered before regaining his demeanor. “You’re welcome, Mr. Ty. Now, according to your records, you’ve used your rather particular sets of skills and talents in the pursuit of rogue gods before. Correct?”
“Correct, sir,” Ty answered.
“And per your records, your track record for success in tracking these rogue gods is near perfect. In fact, the only blemishes on said record can be attributed to faulty leads or bad information received by the Agency before you were even sent on the mission. Would you say that is an accurate description of your performance record?”
“I would say that is correct, sir,” Ty responded.
Seraphim nodded to himself and continued, “Now, all your prior work in tracking rogue gods has involved gods who were outside of the Agency. Rogue gods who decided to ignore the authority of the Divine Agency and chose to not heed the ultimatums given during the Great Merger and instead chose to go underground.
“This mission, however, will be something you’ve never had any experience with before, but the Agency, in considering your performance record, as well as your personal history, feel you might be the best Task Demon suited for this mission.”
“And what, exactly, is the mission, sir?” Ty asked, voice elevated with curiosity.
“We believe that a current member of the Agency may have gone rogue and is intervening in the affairs of the mortal realm, in direct violation of the regulations set down by the Agency,” Seraphim answered gravely.
“Well, that is new territory, sir. There haven’t been any incidents of Agency members going rogue since the first century after the Agency’s founding and almost all those cases involved members who were reluctant to join after the Great Merger in the first place.”
Seraphim glared at Ty. “I wasn’t aware that it was common knowledge within the rest of the Agency.”
“Common knowledge? No, but that doesn’t mean that word didn’t get around a few of these halls,” Ty answered, trying to sound flippant, but he was regretting the slip.
“In any case, a current member going rogue isn’t something the Agency has had to deal with in quite some time. So there is some debate on how best to approach such a delicate situation. Before we were to bring forth any punishment for such violations, we would obviously want to make sure that the god in question had actually violated the laws.
“Now, while we could confront the member directly, we feel that it would be better served to instead covertly observe the suspected violator, investigate any supposed violations, discreetly take them into custody, and then, if necessary, carry out appropriate punishment.”
“I see,” Ty said calmly. He chose not to point out the blatant use of words such as “delicate” and “discreet” and the implied connotation that the Agency was dead set on avoiding any potential controversy within their ranks a member going rogue now would create. “Well, I certainly can respect the reasons for such an approach to this situation, and I am at the service of the Agency in any way I can assist. I am, however, a little curious as to why I was chosen for such an operation. It seems that an operation like this would be better served by being delegated to a senior Task Demon such as Commander Gez, or even an Angel of the higher orders, who are much better equipped to confront rogue gods directly. If it were to become necessary, that is.”
Seraphim arched a knowing eyebrow. “Mr. Ty, I believe that you give yourself too little credit. I can attest that your performance record easily stands up to that of any other member of your brethren. What’s more, while it is true that you hold no command rank or senior authority, that was in no way a reflection of your performance, but rather at your own behest, if I am understanding your records correctly. Your records indicate you were nominated for promotion to a command or leadership position on three separate occasions and you turned down each opportunity, stating personal reasons for declining the promotion.
“Such matters, however, are of no concern to me nor need they impact your assignment here. No, as we said we feel your are best suited for two reasons. The first is your performance history which has been covered. The second is your personal history. You have some familiarity with the suspect which gives you an advantage and insight in observing her.”
“Her, sir?” Ty asked.
Seraphim nodded and then reached down to the side of his desk. He opened a drawer and from it pulled out a manila folder which he opened and set down on the desk. “I believe you are acquainted with a goddess by the name of Feng Ni La?”
For a moment, Ty nearly betrayed his stone-faced demeanor by showing surprise at hearing that name. Ty quickly looked down at the folder and then back to Seraphim, hoping the angel hadn’t noticed anything. “We worked in the same department for a relatively short time. It was my first assignment after the creation of my kind. Several of my brethren and I worked under the supervision of several gods and goddess within the department, with Feng Ni La being one of them. This was when the Task Demons were still without an official designation within the Agency nor did we even have corporeal forms. I was transferred out of the department shortly before the Chairperson upgraded our physical forms and I was reassigned elsewhere.”
“You regard four hundred years as a short time?” Seraphim asked blankly.
“Only relatively speaking, sir.”
Seraphim nodded and proceeded with his mission overview. “There have been disturbing rumblings and rumors regarding Feng Ni La within the Agency in recent times. While it is not unusual for a member to take the odd sabbatical from their godly duties, Feng Ni La has taken multiple such sabbaticals within the last century with each one consuming more time than the last. Also, while it is not unusual for a member to spend one or two of these sabbaticals in the mortal realms, Feng Ni La has chosen to do such on every one of hers.”
“Well, considering her department, sir…” Ty interjected.
Seraphim held up a hand to silence him. “Yes, we did take into account the taxing nature of Feng Ni La’s duties. Unfortunately, that would seem to cast more suspicion on her choice of destination for her sabbaticals, not less. Then there’s a matter of some rather interesting blips that have occurred in concurrence with her sabbaticals.”
“Blips, sir?” Ty warily asked.
“Nothing concrete, mind you. Just some unusual circumstances involving people who could’ve possibly had contact with Feng Ni La during her sabbaticals. Events and circumstances that could just be a random product of luck but could also possibly be attributed to the effects or aftereffects of a divine blessing. The frequency of such blips seemed to increase with each progressive sabbatical that Feng Ni La took which makes one begin to wonder if there some causation in the correlation,” Seraphim explained.
Ty picked up the folder and studied the documents for a few moments. “When do I leave and where do I go?”
For the first time, Seraphim smiled openly. “I believe we chose correctly, Mr Ty. You’ll begin immediately. You’ll be heading for the Eastern United States, to the city of Holyoke in Western Massachusetts. Your mission is to quietly observe Feng Ni La’s activities during her current sabbatical and report back to the agency. We want detailed reports on the mortals she comes in contact with, any displays openly or secretively of divine power, and, or course, any violations of Agency regulations. If you witness any such violations, you are not to approach her or attempt to apprehend her, but rather you will return directly to the agency and report to me immediately.”
“And if I observe no such violations, how long am I to maintain this surveillance?” Ty asked.
Seraphim gave the question some thought. “Maintain observation for one mortal month from today. At the conclusion of such, if no violations are directly observed, you will report to me for a complete debriefing and we will decide on the next course of action then. Understood?”
Ty nodded, trying to keep his expression neutral. “Understood, sir.” He then stood up from the chair and headed for the door. Ty opened the door, but before exiting, he gave one final look to Seraphim and his office, then walked out.
Ty sighed and again slammed his fist against the brick wall behind him in frustration. He knew this was a bad assignment the moment he walked into that smug angelic prick’s office. In the month that had passed since, only more nagging doubts chirped in the back of his mind.
Extended observation? That should’ve been the first tip off. Ty knew that if you watched anyone like a hawk for long enough you’d find out something bad about them. If they really suspected Feng Ni La of going rogue, they would’ve recalled her for interrogation, though it’d be disguised as a simple bureaucratic procedure, or they simply would send a squad of Halos to pick her up quietly. No, they wanted, or maybe perhaps better said, needed someone to witness her going rogue.
But why? Why was a witness so important? The first rogue god or goddess to come from within the Agency in nearly two millennia? Something like that would almost demand less transparency from within the organization, not more. Something that out of ordinary would send out more than a few ripples within the Divine Agency. It would make a lot of people ask a lot of uncomfortable questions.
So why did they need a witness when it seemed to work against their best interest? More confusing, it appeared that it couldn’t just be any witness. No, they needed someone whose word was indisputable. Someone incorruptible. They needed a Task Demon to be the one that they called to the witness stand. They were incapable of lying. That’s why he was picked for the mission. It wasn’t his mission record but rather the fact that he was a Task Demon. They knew that he would do two things: A.) He would do his mission with the utmost diligence and B.) He would report back to the Agency with the utmost veracity.
And they were right. Despite his apprehension concerning his target, he swore to do his duties meticulously. Actually, it was because of his target that he perhaps performed them even more meticulously than he may have, had it been any other god. He wanted to prove her innocence beyond all doubt, reasonable or unreasonable. He wanted to report back to that suit wearing, winged bastard that the Agency was wrong about Feng Ni La, and Seraphim would have to accept it.
That plan had just been thrown out the proverbial window with a single blessed kiss. Now, it was time for plan B – Lie.
There was only the small matter that Task Demons were incapable of lying. Ironically, that belief itself was a lie, at least it was when it came to Ty. He’d learned to lie a long time ago. It was something that he had learned from someone very special to him. Now, it seemed, it was a good thing that she had taught him that particular skill.
The truth may set you free, but a lie was about to save her immortal life.
It was 7:50 PM on a Saturday night and Fenny, well, Fenny was sprawled out on her rather comfortable second-hand couch. She looked up from her face-down position and looked up at the cheerful cat clock that told her that her invited guests would be knocking on her door in a little under ten minutes. Probably less than that, since she knew Jason would manage to be early for his own funeral, as compulsive about time as he was.
She rolled onto her side and slowly scanned the room to assess the situation. Okay, the week’s worth of dirty laundry scattered about the apartment, including undergarments draped off the reading lamp? Those would definitely need removed. The thirty-five paperback romance novels and shojo manga stacked on the coffee table should probably be shelved. She then looked at the corner and put her finger to her chin in thought. While Jay and John would probably appreciate the time and effort that it took to transform three dozen empty pizza boxes, a dozen and a half empty fried chicken buckets, over fifty Chinese take-out containers, a gross of empty beer cans, and using only wads of Doublemint Gum as an adhesive, into a scale replica of the Taj Mahal, it probably told her friends more about her eating habits than she felt comfortable sharing. It would have to go.
Speaking of eating habits, her attention turned to the reason why her art project had gotten started in the first place. She had run out of clean dishes about a season ago. She should probably do something about the pile of empty plates, bowls, and glasses that had claimed her sink and most of the counter space. As well as the kitchen table. And the top of the refrigerator. And the inside of the oven.
The less said about her bathroom, the better.
Now, if an ordinary person were faced with such a task of making this space presentable, they might despair and declare the situation hopeless. And if there were faced with this task knowing that the door buzzer just announced that they were out of time, then they might consider fleeing the premises as a reasonable course of action.
But Fenny Lin was no ordinary person. In fact, she wasn’t a person at all. She was a goddess, and such tasks are no obstacle to one who had existed far longer than is comfortably pondered.
Fenny walked over to her door and pushed the button on the intercom. “I’m just getting changed. Come on up, Jay.”
“How’d you know it was me?” a voice asked through the intercom.
“It’s 7:55 and I told you be here at 8. The day you’re late for anything is the day the world ends. Come on up,” Fenny said with a grin on her face. She then pushed the button to unlock the front security door. She then turned back to her disaster and smiled. “A woman’s work is never done.”
She closed her eyes and snapped both fingers. When she reopened them, a new room greeted her. It was like a picture out of a furniture store catalog. All the books were neatly shelved and organized on the bookshelves. Dirty laundry was nowhere to be seen. The room was freshly dusted and the rugs smelled of Carpet Fresh. The takeout Taj Mahal was no more. In the kitchen, the once dirty dishes had magically relocated to the inside of the kitchen cabinets, clean and hygienic. On the kitchen table were two large pizza boxes, steam and the smell of Italian meats emanating from them.
Fenny smiled and gave a nod of approval. A moment later there was a knock on the door. Fenny turned back to it and slipped the deadbolt from its place. She opened the door and greeted Jason. John was standing behind him. “Hi guys, come on in,” Fenny greeted.
“John arrived as I was about to walk in, so he came in through the security door with me,” Jason explained.
“Hi, Fenny,” John greeted as he walked in behind Jason.
“Good timing. Pizzas arrived about ten minutes ago. Half cheese and half meat lovers on one. Half supreme and half pepperoni with black olives on the other.”
John and Jason both smiled. Their favorites. “You are truly a benevolent goddess,” John joked.
“As soon as you sacrifice a virgin, you guys can chow down,” Fenny said with a wry grin.
John shrugged. “Okay, Jay, get in the car, I gotta take you to a volcano.”
“Fuck you, Hoelscher,” Jason said flatly and lifted the lids on one of the Pizza boxes. “Thanks for the invite and pizza, Fenny.”
“No prob, guys. Sorry about the mess,” Fenny said with a nod.
Jason tore off a slice of pepperoni with black olives, took a large bite, and as he chewed, slowly scanned the room. He then swallowed, looked at Fenny, and arched a questioning eyebrow. “Well, I might have seen a particle of dust in the corner of my eye, so I could accuse you of slacking from your usual housekeeping standards, but I guess we’ll let it pass.”
“Knowing Fenny’s cleanliness, a particle of dust is a pig sty by her standards,” John commented as he too placed a slice of supreme on a paper plate.
Fenny chuckled to herself and walked over the refrigerator. She opened the door and poked her head inside. It was as empty as a politician’s soul. She then called over to John and Jason, “I’m grabbing drinks. What’s your preferences? Beer, soda, juice, something harder maybe?”
“Offering two minors alcoholic beverages. For shame,” John commented.
“Okay, John’s having water. How about you, Jay?” Fenny asked.
“What kinda beer?” Jason asked.
“What you hoping for?” Fenny asked with a Cheshire grin.
“Rolling Rock?” Jason asked hopefully.
“Ask and ye shall receive,” Fenny said happily as she once more reached into the empty fridge and pulled out a cardboard carrier containing six distinctive green glass bottles filled with the pride of Latrobe, Pennsylvania. She removed a bottle and tossed it to Jason who caught it with his right hand. John signaled to Fenny that he too would like one and, after pretending to hesitate for a moment, threw a bottle to John. As for herself, after she put the remaining bottles back into the fridge, she reached in and pulled out from the ether a twelve-ounce glass bottle of Coca-Cola Classic. Then with a wink and a nod to the fridge, she left it filled with a variety of beverages ranging from Orange Juice to Blue Moon to a variety of Coke and Pepsi products.
The trio of friends loaded doubled-up and tripled-up paper plates with slices of greasy, cheesy manna, and headed into Fenny’s living room.
“Okay, so I got the first two fan-subbed episodes of El-Hazard 2 from ‘Shut Up Shinji Studios’, and the first six episodes of a series called Fushigi Yuugi from ‘One Lum or Two Studios’,” Fenny stated as she held up two VHS cassettes with hand-written labels on them.
“I vote El-Hazard,” John stated.
Jason nodded. “I’m with John. Before we get started, though…” Jason then looked to Fenny. “Fenny, it’s been a while. Bathroom?” Jason asked, setting his plate on the coffee table and looking over at a few of the closed doors in her apartment.
Fenny with a point and snap of her fingers indicated a closed door to the right and behind Jason. Jason nodded and walked to it. As he opened it, he was greeted with an immaculate set of facilities. He poked his head inside and then pulled back and looked to Fenny. “Really, Fenny? Monogrammed hand-towels with our initials? You’re just showing off now,” Jason commented before fully entering and then closing the door behind him.
John looked at Fenny and raised a questioning eyebrow. “Really?”
Fenny could only shrug and smile. “I don’t get to entertain enough. I like to make an effort for you guys.” That was true enough. She did like making an extra effort when it came to Jason and John. Jason was right, though. The towels might have been a bit much.
Fenny inserted the tape into her VCR and sat next to John on the couch. A minute later, Jason reemerged and joined them. He sat on the opposite side of Fenny, putting her between the two young men. Fenny pointed the remote at the TV and a few moments later, they were brought up to speed as to what had happened in the Magnificent World of El-Hazard since they had last seen it.
Outside, across the street, Ty sat on the ledge of the building that faced Fenny’s apartment windows. Sitting in the dark, he looked into the lighted apartment and at the three occupants happily eating pizza, drinking beer, and watching the TV.
Ty reached into the inner pocket of his black trench coat and pulled out a half-empty pack of Morley’s. He pulled one out with his lips and after returning the pack to his coat, he pulled out a lighter to light it. He inhaled deeply before exhaling a blast of smoke from his mouth.
He didn’t even know why he did it. He technically didn’t have lungs, so there was no need to fill them with smoke and nicotine. He didn’t have nerves, so there was no need to calm them. Ty began to believe that simply started smoking because he liked the motions of the act. The forced pause a person had to take from what they were doing to light and smoke a cigarette. The way everything stopped when a person took a prolonged drag, allowing them to gather their thoughts and think about what they might say next. Also, he had to admit that he did think he looked pretty cool when he was enjoying a Morley.
He finished his cigarette and crushed it out against the rooftop ledge he was sitting on. He kept looking at Fenny Lin, or as he knew her, Feng Ni La. He had kept with his observation for the rest of the day despite knowing it was unnecessary. At least it maintained the illusion of him performing his duties even if he was about to completely disregard them.
If he were to be completely honest with himself, he simply wanted to stick close to Fenny as long as he still could. That was the one sole benefit of this assignment. For thirty days, he was able to see her again, even if she wasn’t aware of it.
He sighed. The last few hours, however, had been anything but pleasant. All he could do was replay that damned kiss over and over in his mind and ask seemingly unanswerable questions. Why? Why now? Hadn’t fifteen hundred years ago been too close of a call for you, or did you just decide to keep doing it even after that and it was only now that you slipped up bad enough for them to notice? Did you even think of the possibility that they would send me? Dammit, Feng Ni La!
His thoughts were interrupted by a tiny electronic beeping sound. He looked at his wrist and pushed a button to silence the alarm on his cheap digital watch. His meeting was in a little over three hours. He needed to head back and prepare his report. He wasn’t sure, though, how much preparation would really help him.
How much can one really prepare themselves when they’re about to blatantly lie to possibly the second most powerful being in all of creation?
He took one final look at Fenny who, along with Jason and John, was laughing at Fujisawa’s drunken proposal to Miz Mishtal. He sighed sadly, then pushed himself off the ledge and vanished into the night’s darkness.
The view was stunning. The sun was setting, looking as if a crimson disc was slowly sinking into the Pacific Ocean, turning the sky behind the Golden Gate a gorgeous red, complementing the famous bridge’s paintwork.
Seraphim enjoyed watching sunsets. Sometimes he would watch seven or eight in a day if the mood struck him. He even had particular sunsets he enjoyed indulging in – The Cascades, London, Gibraltar, The Great Wall. They were always breathtaking. San Francisco, however, was perhaps his favorite.
There was a buzzing sound, and Seraphim turned away from the window and walked toward his oaken desk, upon which sat a small intercom unit. Seraphim pushed a button on the device and answered, “Yes?”
“The Task Demon is here to see you, sir. He is on your schedule, though it doesn’t say why,” the delicate and feminine voice of his Dryad receptionist replied through the device.
“Yes, that’s fine. Please, send him in,” Seraphim stated and then walked back to the window. Outside, the New York City skyline, alight with electric twinkles and glowing neon against a backdrop of darkness, greeted him.
Behind him, Seraphim heard the door open and then close. He enjoyed the view a few more moments before turning away and greeting his visitor. In front of the door was Ty, who stood not quite at attention, but not exactly at ease either. Under his arm was a small bundle.
“Welcome back, Mr. Ty. Please, take a seat,” Seraphim offered, gesturing toward his desk off his right. Behind Seraphim, the view changed again to show the Pyramids of Giza coated in electric light in front of the stillness of pre-dawn twilight.
Ty gave a polite nod and walked across the room to take the offered seat. Seraphim took his chair and for a moment the two beings stared at each other. Seraphim broke the momentary silence. “It has been thirty days since we have sent you on your mission. As you did not return prior to that, can we assume there have been no incidents to report?”
Ty studied Seraphim for a moment. He then reached for his bundle and placed it on Seraphim’s desk. It was a small stack of three or four black composition notebooks bound together with twine. “Here are my complete observation records. You’ll most likely want to hand it over to your dedicated copywriter demons for transcription.”
Seraphim picked up the bundle and considered it in his hand. “Thorough.”
“Nothing less should be expected,” Ty answered flatly.
Seraphim gave a thin smile. “Indeed. Now, would you care to give a general summary?”
Ty nodded slowly. Here went everything. “Yes, sir. Well, for intents and purposes, the observation could be described as rather uneventful. Feng Ni La has integrated herself into her surroundings under the identity of a young woman named Fenny Lin. This identity has a mortal job, a mortal residence, and a mortal social circle.”
“Yes, yes, the agency is well aware of Feng Ni La’s ‘hobby’ identity in the realm of the mortals. What else have you learned?” Seraphim interrupted dismissively.
Ty narrowed his eyes slightly, but nodded. “I see, sir. Is there any specific information that you are looking for?”
Seraphim arched an eyebrow. “Just what we asked you to find out. Has she gone rogue? Did you witness any suspicious activity or violations of Agency policy?”
Ty nodded, then leaned forward and looked Seraphim directly in the eye. “No, sir. I did not.”
Seraphim sat there for a moment in silence. He then looked at Ty’s bundled notebooks and then back to the demon himself. “I see. So, absolutely no godly behavior then?”
Ty saw the verbal trap. He couldn’t paint Feng Ni La as a good girl because it was well known within the agency that she wasn’t one. If he tried to pass her off as such, he’d double the suspicion on her and, by extension, on himself. “No, sir, I did not say that. I said I witnessed no violations of Agency policy. Feng Ni La exerts her goddess powers quite a bit in the mortal realm, often solely for her own benefit. Usually altering her environment, manipulating matter, or even creating new matter. While she has done this with seemingly little regard for the potential danger of her actions being witnessed, she does seem to exhibit a basic awareness to not perform such actions with blatant openness, and never once has she done it for the direct benefit of a mortal in accordance with Agency policies.”
Seraphim listened as Ty reported, seemingly dispassionate. After Ty had finished, he clasped his hands together and rested them on his desk in front of them. He then smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Ty. That is most satisfactory news.”
Ty resisted reacting to this. “Sir?”
“Well, your thorough investigation should be more than enough to dispel the rather perturbing rumors we had heard concerning Feng Ni La. Now, we will obviously need to discuss with her about improving her discretion when using her powers in the mortal realm, but that is a minor matter that be resolved upon her return from her sabbatical. Again, thank you, Mr. Ty. Without your diligent work, this matter may never have been resolved, or worse, may have caused undue embarrassment to many parties.”
“I see. Thank you, sir. Does that mean that my observation is at an end and I’ll be reassigned?” Ty asked, still feeling a sense of unease.
Seraphim smiled again and gave a light shake of the head. “Well, that may be a bit premature. Now, obviously the reputation of Task Demons is very well known, and more than well deserved. However, these reports of yours will obviously need a few days to be thoroughly examined and, of course, we’ll need to cross reference any mortals that Feng Ni La has come in contact with for any unusual activity, but that should only be a mere formality now. Again, thanks to you, I think we’ll finally be able to dismiss these whispered allegations against an impulsive, but ultimately innocent, goddess once and for all.
“However, I feel it would be best for you to maintain observations for a few days more while this process is undertaken, lest anyone think we weren’t being thorough in this matter. Don’t you agree, Mr. Ty?”
Ty could only quietly nod. “Understood, sir.” Ty then stood up to leave.
“Of course, it goes without saying that if you were still witness anything improper during this brief extension, we would obviously want to know about it immediately and without delay,” Seraphim said calmly.
“I’m sure it’ll only be a formality, sir, but of course if I do observe anything, I will report immediately to you,” Ty responded. He then stood up, turned away from Seraphim, and walked out of the room.
As he closed the door behind himself, the Dryad manning the desk out front eyed him, as if sizing him up, and then gave him a nymphish smile.
Ty returned the smile weakly, and then continued on his way. As he walked down the halls of the Divine Agency, his thoughts turned grim. In two millennia, he’d learned to smell out bullshit pretty well, and despite what some people may think, angelic bullshit smelled just as bad, if not worse.
They were buying time, Ty was sure of it. Ty had been “Plan A” and he’d just proven a bust. Now, they needed a “Plan B.” What would Plan B be? Ty pondered this as he walked. Well, if Feng Ni La wasn’t going to incriminate herself, then they’d force her to violate the Agency laws and they’d force her to do it in front of the best witness they had – him. Unless, of course, they decided that they wanted to hedge their bets and bring in another witness or two.
Ty came to a dark realization. Within the next few days, Feng Ni La would find herself condemned and if he didn’t help condemn her, he’d find himself right up there on the chopping block alongside her.
He was going to need some help. Luckily, in his some two thousand years of existence, he’d earned a few favors owed to him. It looked like it was time to cash some of them in.
Inside his office, Seraphim studiously flipped through and read the pages of one of Ty’s observation logs. The calm smile he wore when Ty was there had been replaced with a worried frown. The other logs lay scattered about on his desk. After a few minutes of reading, he tossed the log on top of the others, removed his spectacles, and sighed whilst rubbing the bridge of his nose.
Seraphim pushed the button on his intercom. “Ms. Larch, would you please summon Mr. Gez. I need to see him immediately.”
“Yes, sir,” the voice on the other end replied.
Monday morning lectures were the worst. Jason sat in in the back row and furthest seat to the right on the lecture room. He sat, slumped down, and trying not to nod off as the guest lecturer droned on about the why it was the fact that you never saw the horribly fake-looking shark that ended up producing what is considered one of the best edited pieces of cinema in the last twenty-five years.
Jason normally loved his History of Cinema and Defining Film Techniques class. Mondays, however, were another matter. Mondays were always lecture days and more times than not, guest lecturers were brought in. That would be fine, as different voices often brought about different perspectives and new ways of understanding the subject matter. The problem was that the guest lecturers his professor normally brought in couldn’t hold an audience’s attention even if they were restrained in the seats and their eyes forced open like Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange, which had been the subject of last week’s lecture. After that particular lecture had been completed, Jason rather envied Alex – at least he had done something to deserve his torture..
How was it that in regards of a medium that had become one of the defining forms of entertainment for mankind, some of its most fluent experts were also some of the most horrid bores to ever walk God’s green Earth?
The constant unending droning without pause made it hard enough for Jason to concentrate on the subject matter. The tiny scrap of paper lying open on the desktop in front of him further hindered his attention. After all, fake sharks would come and go, and if Jason remembered correctly this particular fake shark would come and go four times since 1976, but owing Nicole Porter one dinner was something that demanded immediate attention. Frankly, the scrap of paper that Nicole had handed to him telling him of this future obligation couldn’t have been more distracting if it had sprouted arms and legs, pulled out a top hat and started doing its Michigan J. Frog impression.
Jason stifled a yawn through clenched teeth and impatiently checked his watch for the forty-eighth time in the last thirty minutes. The lecture still had an hour and a half to go. He slumped further down into his seat and sighed quietly. The brunette girl to the left of him, who was still wearing flannel pajama pants and a hooded sweatshirt with the college’s name, had given up the ghost ten minutes ago and was quietly dozing in her uncomfortable seat, lulled to sleep by the speaker’s monotone monologue.
Jason envied her. He was too excited to simply drift off to sleep again, in spite of the lecturer’s best efforts to make him do just that. Ever since he resolved to speak to Fenny to discuss what he has dubbed in his mind as “The Nicole Situation”, he’d been filled with a nervous energy that he couldn’t find a focus for.
Actually, that wasn’t completely true. He did have a focus, or rather he found himself focusing on all the things that stood between him and his pilgrimage to the shrine of the Bouncy Love Goddess. First there was a fevered, unrestful night’s sleep, then a two hour lecture, followed by a hour-long college algebra class, then a quick trip to the library to gather materials for a paper that was due tomorrow, a quick lunch at the student union, an early afternoon production lab, and then he could finally seek the wisdom of Holyoke’s foremost expert on all things relationship-wise.
He checked his watch again and sighed in exasperation. One hour and twenty-eight minutes more to go.
Ty sat on an old wooden bench under a tree in Springdale Park. Due to the mid-morning hour and the chill in the air that October had brought, the park was relatively abandoned except for the occasional jogger or elderly bird-feeder.
The cold rarely bothered Ty, so he didn’t bother to pull up the collar of his black trench coat tighter when a slight breeze blew. In fact, he was rather enjoying the rays of the sun that had broken through the cloud cover and he smiled slightly, exposing his fang-like canines to anyone who might happen. Luckily, no one was there to see his unusual teeth or eyes that he kept well hid by his black Wayfarers.
Ty stretched his legs out and sighed contently. He liked parks like these, especially when he could enjoy them all to himself. It almost made him forget his current predicament. Almost.
To his side rested a fresh copy of The Union News he had bought earlier, still neatly folded, bundled, and unread. Ty rarely cared for the current events of mortals, but newspapers made for a convenient “look busy” cover, so he tended to keep one around, just in case.
A moment later a young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He was wearing a dark brown partially zipped up hoodie with the hood pulled up, light brown corduroy pants, and a pair of black Converse Chuck Taylor hi-top trainers. He appeared to be at least partially Asian with dimpled cheeks and a small nose. Most of his hair was tucked under his hood, but what wasn’t tucked was dark auburn and flopped over his left eye like a silky wave. In his right hand he held a red, white, and blue paper bag with the word “Peanuts!” written on it in a circus-style font.
As the man sat down on the bench, he stretched his gangly legs out much as Ty had done, and dug his hand into the peanut bag. After a couple moments, he pulled out a nice sized roasted legume and pinched the shell with his forefingers and thumb until it cracked so he could empty the contents into his mouth. “Thanks for the nuts,” the man said without looking toward Ty. “I prefer English walnuts, though. Just an FYI.”
Ty picked up his newspaper and opened it, staring blankly at the black and white text through his Ray Bans. “Thanks for actually reading the note before coming, Scuridaeus,” Ty stated blankly.
The man gave a toothy grin, revealing a set of slightly bucked front incisors that along with his dimples gave his face an adorable woodland critter quality. He popped another nut into his mouth. “No need for formalities, Ty. You can call me Scurry. I’ve told you that.”
Ty frowned. “I don’t do nicknames, Scuridaeus. I’ve told you that.”
Scuridaeus shrugged and dug into the bag again. “Whatever makes you happy, friend. What’s up? Why the note in my tree saying we needed to meet? Also, why was it so important that I had to come in human guise?”
Ty kept staring ahead at the paper in front of him. “I think I’m being watched. I didn’t want anyone see you transform who shouldn’t, and frankly, even if you didn’t change, I think it would be even more suspicious for me if someone watched me start conversing with a squirrel.”
Scuridaeus paused his snacking, but didn’t start looking around in a panic like Ty had feared he might. Scuridaeus could be jumpy when surprised, but he seemed to be keeping his composure for the moment. “I see,” Scuridaeus said slowly before he returned to rooting through the bag for more nuts. “So, you think you’re being watched and you decide to meet with a rogue god in the middle of a park? That strikes me as incredibly stupid.”
“Not as stupid as someone admitting out loud that he is a rogue god while talking to someone who is supposed to track down rogue gods,” Ty grumbled through clenched teeth and only slightly parted lips.
Scuridaeus blinked a few times and winced. “Ouch. Okay, sorry. My bad.”
“It’s okay. If they’re watching me, they’re keeping enough distance that our conversation here shouldn’t be a problem. I’m not even positive I am being watched. Just a bad feeling,” Ty said with a sigh as he flipped a page of his newspaper.
Scuridaeus frowned. “I hate your bad feelings,” Scuridaeus stated blankly. “They have a unfortunate way of turning true.”
“Stay calm. I’ve kept you off their radar since The Great Merger, I think I warrant a little more faith,” Ty stated calmly, flipping another page.
Scuridaeus shrugged half-heartedly. “True enough, though there were some close calls. Remember Central Park in ’48?”
“I remember that because of my help then, you managed to find this little slice of heaven you’re so fond of. You’re welcome, by the way,” Ty said, slightly annoyed.
“Yeah, so okay, and well, thank you. Sorry, but as you said, this is my slice of heaven and I’m a little twitchy at the prospect of losing it. Me sticking my neck out for you seems like a sure way to do just that.”
“Well, twitchy or not, I’m calling in a favor,” Ty said matter-of-factly.
“What kind of favor? I ask this, as if I don’t already know that I’m going to hate it,” Scuridaeus asked quietly and in a bitter tone.
“Relax. I’m not asking you to do anything that might expose you to the agency. I just need an extra pair of eyes to watch my back the next couple of days and report to me if anyone else’s eyes are on me. I can call in some favors elsewhere, but I thought a pair of tiny, beady eyes mounted on a non-suspicious furry body would be my best option, especially if that small furry body happened to owe me a huge debt of gratitude,” Ty murmured under a strained smile as he pretended to read baseball playoff scores.
Scuridaeus grimaced slightly and cracked the peanut shell in his hand harder that he intended, which sent the peanut inside flying behind them. “Fine, Ty. I’ll be your guardian angel. But after this, slate’s clean, got it?”
Ty gave a slight and bemused grin. “Maybe. We’ll see. Frankly though, the last thing I want right now is an angel, guardian or otherwise.”
Scuridaeus sighed morosely. He lightly kicked his shoe at a discarded peanut shell that had landed at his feet. “If I’m gonna watch your back, I guess I should know what I’m actually looking for, or rather who I’m looking for.”
“I suspect they’ll be sending a fellow Black Coat to keep an eye on me sooner rather than later. I guess there’s a good chance they’ll send a Halo instead. I mean, if they decided that I’m a risk, they might not trust any of my other brothers either.”
“Do you even talk to any of your brothers or sisters?” Scuridaeus asked.
“Not unless I have to,” Ty answered, a little sharper than he had intended to.
“Family’s always a pain, ain’t it?” Scuridaeus mused. “Still, if they send an angel, that’s no small thing, y’know. I’ll have to be extra careful if those guys are involved.” Scuridaeus stated and then went silent again. Finally, he turned to Ty again and broke the silence. “Mind if I ask you something?”
Ty grunted a quiet permission between another flip of the newspaper pages. He snorted a little at seeing that day’s Far Side strip.
“Does this have anything to do with her?” Scuridaeus asked.
“Her who?” Ty asked evasively.
“Please, Ty,” Scuridaeus said with a huff of annoyance, “We’ve known each other long enough to both know who I’m talking about.”
Ty hesitated and shifted uneasily before finally answering. “Maybe.”
Scuridaeus rolled his eyes and popped another peanut from its shell into his mouth. “How long have you been carrying that torch, Ty? Fifteen, sixteen hundred years, maybe? When was the last time you spoke to her? Before your transfer? From what you’ve told me, the last time she even saw you, you didn’t even have a face yet. I’ve heard of admiring from afar, but this is getting ridiculous, especially since now it’s getting me tangled up in it.”
Ty finally broke his gaze from the paper and glared at Scuridaeus. “I’d watch what I call ridiculous, if I were you,” Ty growled quietly.
Scuridaeus turned away from the glare and stared down at his shoes. “Ok, geez, sorry. I said I would help you, didn’t I? No need to bite my head off.”
Ty shrugged slightly. “I just don’t think rogue gods who are grooming new priestesses should be criticizing my motives.”
Now it was Scuridaeus’ turn to glare. “Okay, you’re gonna stop right there. I’m not grooming anyone to be anything. I don’t know why I even mentioned her to you. I knew you’d totally think the wrong thing,” Scuridaeus grumbled, annoyed.
“Oh, is that right?” Ty asked skeptically.
Scuridaeus reinforced his glare. “Yeah, it is. First off, she’s not my priestess. For her to be a priestess, she would have to worship me, and for that to happen she would actually have to know I was god, which she doesn’t. Secondly, if I was grooming her to be a priestess, which I’m not, that would mean I wanted her to worship me, which I don’t.
“She’s just a nice lady that I hang out from time to time in my Squirrel form. I’ve never revealed my true form to her or the other squirrels she’s surrounded herself with and I don’t intend to. That’s it,” Scuridaeus stated authoritatively.
Ty arched an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses. “Just a nice lady… who just happens to be plotting the eventual conquering of the world by the squirrels?”
Scuridaeus gave a sheepish grin and shrug. “Hey, I won’t lie and say I don’t find the idea of a world in which Squirrelkind reigns supreme appealing. I’m just saying that my children stopped actively worshiping me centuries ago and aside from a few long-furred gray scholars, most haven’t ever heard mention of my name, let alone know of my status as God of the Squirrels.
“If they manage to succeed and take over the world, it won’t be for my benefit, it’ll be for their own, and y’know what, good for them. They’ve moved on and found their own faith and they’re entitled to it.” Scuridaeus then chuckled to himself. “I’ve even heard whispered rumors of a Squirrel Messiah, one who is both man and squirrel, who will lead this grand revolution. They don’t need me anymore and, honestly, I’m glad they don’t.”
Ty picked up the final section of his newspaper and opened it. “And yet you’ve clung like hell to your godhood, defying the Agency after the Great Merger and going underground. You’re just a big fluffy pile of furry contradictions.”
“I’ve got no beef with either the Head Honcho or the Agency. I agreed that things had gotten too chaotic and too many gods were spoiling the broth that is creation. I just didn’t like the whole ultimatum thing – Either ‘retire, leave, or fade away’ and stop being a god, or ‘remain a god and work for us.’ I am what I am and what I am is a god. I’m not going to stop being a god just because I don’t have any worshipers and I’m certainly not going to stop being a god just because I don’t want to work for the great bureaucracy. I just wanted to be what I always have been and enjoy my retirement where I belong. As long as I don’t cause any trouble for anyone else, I don’t think that’s too much to ask,” Scuridaeus mused.
Ty sighed. “Yeah, I know. Just wish some gods would understand that whole ‘not causing trouble’ thing.”
Scuridaeus studied Ty for a moment and then slowly nodded in understanding. “Ah, I see. So that’s how it is, is it? That’s why you’re afraid you’re being watched. She’s gone over, hasn’t she? She’s gone over and you’re the one who’s supposed to bring her in. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Something like that,” Ty said evasively. “You going to back out?”
Scuridaeus shook his head negative. “No, I said I would help, and I’m a squirrel of my word. I did tell you a long time ago, though, that you weren’t going to be able to play for both sides forever and that one day you were going to have to make a choice, that she was going to do something to force you to make that choice. It seems that you’ve finally come to the crossroads, my friend.”
Ty shrugged and snapped his paper closed. He began to assemble it back into a neat stack. “It would seem so.”
“Can I ask one question? Is she worth it?” Scuridaeus asked.
Ty finished assembling the individual sections into one neatly folded stack. “I’ve never thought otherwise.”
Scuridaeus nodded to himself slightly and smiled slightly. “Good. There’s no halfway when it comes to things like that. If you’re in, then you’re in until the end. I’ll be watching your back, friend, so you better watch hers.”
“Thanks, Scuridaeus.”
Scuridaeus stood up and stretched his long limbs for a few moments. He tucked his hands into the hoodie’s front pouch pockets. “Be seeing you, Ty, and I’ll be sure to let you know if anyone else is seeing you as well.”
“Don’t forget your nuts,” Ty reminded, throwing a momentary glance to the half-empty paper sack now resting on the bench.
“They’re a gift to my children who live in this park,” Scuridaeus stated as he removed a pair of large cognac-colored sunglasses from his hoodie pocket and then placed them on his face.
“How benevolent of you,” Ty said with a smirk.
Scuridaeus grinned broadly, his slightly bucked incisors prominent. He then tucked his hands back into his pockets and walked away.
Ty sat for a few more minutes, enjoying the chill in the air. It was probably the last quiet moment he would have for some time. With a sigh, he then stood up, folded the bundled newspaper in half, tucked it under his arm, and left the park. It was time to get to work.
A few minutes later, a pair of plump gray squirrels were feasting from an abandoned half-full bag of peanuts, enjoying the generosity of an unworshiped god, happily sharing his gift with any fellow brethren who came upon them and their impromptu feast, each singing praises to another for their good fortune.
From across the street, perched on a telephone pole, a lean squirrel with reddish-brown fur watched with great satisfaction and then quietly scurried away to pursue a lanky man in a black trench coat and black sunglasses.
“Thank you for shopping Filene’s. Have a fantastic day!” Fenny told a customer as she handed over a large bag holding the several dresses the woman had just purchased.
The woman nodded in appreciation, accepted the bag, and walked away with a smile. It was only when she reached the exit that she was reminded why she had stopped in Fenny’s department in the first place, and that was to ask where the nearest restroom was. Twenty-five minutes later, Fenny had convinced her that a few new outfits would be just the thing to get the attention of the new hire in the H.R. Department at her office.
Fenny was good. When it came to salesmanship and separating the customer from their money, very few at Filene's or even the entire Holyoke Mall could top her. Of course, being a goddess with divine insights might have helped as well.
Currently, those insights were trying to flag her attention. Fenny pulled herself away from self-congratulation to focus on what was triggering her goddess instincts. A moment later, she was pleasantly surprised to realize that it was Jason coming to see her. It was a pleasant surprise, but also a slightly confusing one because the vibe he was putting out was one of romantic turmoil. Apparently, something had happened since she had last seen him on Saturday night.
A few moments later, Jason came into her field of vision and when he saw her, he gave a wave. Fenny responded by tilting her head in confusion at seeing the large bandages affixed to his face and nose. Apparently, more than just something had happened since she had last seen him.
“Yo, Fenny!” Jason greeted as he walked past a few racks of dresses, coming to a stop when he had reached the sales counter she was currently sitting on.
“Jason, um, what the hell happened to you?” Fenny asked nervously, her legs dangling casually.
“Geez, all sorts of things. Where should I begin?”
“The nose, perhaps?” Fenny asked, pointing at his face, her left eyebrow arced in inquiry.
Jason dumbly blinked a few times. “Oh… that.”
“Well, it’s certainly a conversation starter, I’ll admit,” Fenny stated.
“I wish it wasn’t,” Jason said, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
Fenny picked up on this and slid down off the counter and gave Jason a squeeze on his shoulder and a smile. “Okay, okay. I can find out later. I get the feeling you wanted to see me for reasons not nose related.”
Jason nodded. “I need some advice in your field of expertise.”
Fenny grinned. “And in what field am I a so-called expert in, exactly?”
Jason looked around a few seconds, then down to his shoes before speaking quietly. “Um… Y’know… Relationships and stuff n’at.”
A broad smile grew on Fenny’s face threatening to expand so wide that it might escape her face outright. “Oooooooooooooooooooooooh… Stuff like love, maybe?”
Jason began to blush slightly. “I dunno, I guess? Maybe?”
Fenny chuckled. “Your cheeks tell me that the ‘maybe’ is very much a ‘probably.’”
Jason’s cheeks turned redder. “Dammit, that’s rosacea! I got that from my grandma,” Jason protested.
“That’s a very specific strain you got there, then. Only flares up when you want advice about ‘relationships and stuff n’at,’” Fenny joked.
“I need to go,” Jason said, embarrassed. He turned to walk away.
“Stop! Stay!” Fenny commanded. Jason jerked to a halt and looked back to Fenny who had her hands on her hips and was giving him a stern look. She then walked around the counter and brought back with her a small stool, which she set down beside the counter. “Sit!” Fenny ordered, pointing at the stool for effect.
Jason meekly sat down and waited. Fenny planted her backside on the counter top once more and swung her legs a few times while studying Jason with a scrutinizing glare. “Okay, no more fooling around. What’s her name?”
“Um, Nicole,” Jason answered quietly.
Fenny put her finger to her chin. “Ah, so it is a girl. Good. Now we’re getting somewhere. Tell me all about her.”
Jason gave Fenny a recap of the events that had transpired when a Ms. Nicole Porter entered his store on Sunday. This recap included but was not limited to the following events: His and her encounter with the thug who broke his nose, her convenient recall of events when his boss asked for their version of what had happened, his ‘insistence’ on buying her lunch, meeting her twin, finding out some rather inconvenient information regarding her age, her note detailing future obligations, and finally John’s take on the whole matter over hamburgers and football-related trash talk.
When he finished his account of things, he then looked up at Fenny, who was studying him from her perch. “So, what do you think?”
“About what?” Fenny asked.
“Well, everything, I guess. Is the note an invite to ask her out or does she really feel like I owe her for saving my job? What if I ask her out and she say yes? I mean, how old does a guy have to be when asking out a highschooler before it turns skeezy? What about her? What if it turns into something deeper? Aren’t I just setting myself up for trouble? What if her family thinks I’m just some scuzz bucket trying to take advantage of her? What if she doesn’t care anyway? Could I stand between her and her family? Would I want that? Wouldn’t she just end up resenting me later? What would my family say? Would you guys think I’m a skeeze?” Jason asked rapidly and breathlessly.
When Jason finally stopped to take a breath, Fenny could only blink in stunned confusion. She arched her eyebrow and gave Jason a scrutinizing eye. “Jason…”
“Yes?”
“I think you might just be getting a touch ahead of yourself,” Fenny stated slowly and authoritatively.
“I am?”
Fenny nodded. “I would say you’re putting the cart before the horse, but in your case, you’re putting the cart in Los Angeles and the horse is still in Holyoke.”
“Oh,” Jason said dumbly.
“Let’s start slow and simple, kay? It sounds like you got a million questions running ‘round that excitable wrinkled mass you call a brain, but for some reason, you haven’t asked the first question.”
“What’s the first question?”
Fenny smiled. “Well, do you like her?”
“I barely know her,” Jason answered, slightly exasperated.
“So, that’s a ‘I don’t know’, then,” Fenny said with a knowing nod. “Okay, let’s scale it back a little. She’s obviously been on your mind. Do you find her attractive?”
Jason’s cheeks turned pink again and he tried to nod discreetly. “She’s pleasant to look at, yes.”
“Okay, so we established some basic physical attraction on your part. You’ve obviously talked to her a little. Do you find her interesting? Intriguing? Funny? Nice?”
Jason nodded again. “Yeah, I thought that she seemed like an interesting person to know. I mean she stood up to that jackass for pretty much the same reasons I did, albeit she did have better results than me. Then she said I was treating her to lunch. She was just so sure of herself and confident, I couldn’t turn her down.”
“Okay, so we’ve hit both the physical attractiveness and the interesting personality markers. Since she departed ways with you yesterday, do you wish you were in her company again?”
“Yeah,” Jason answered, less abashed than before, but still quietly.
“That’s three for three. Congrats, you like her,” Fenny said happily.
“But I still don’t really know anything about her. How can you say that so authoritatively?” Jason asked nervously.
“Well, let’s not confuse things and say I know she’s your soul mate or your destined one and only. All, I’m saying is that you find something about her attractive. A few things, actually. So, when I say that you like her, I mean you like what you know so far. Now, the wonderful thing about this is that it’s not written in stone. Your opinion can change as you learn more about her. For the time being, however, you do want to learn more about her, so that means you like her enough to do that.”
Jason nodded slowly. He then scratched his head a little. “Okay, so I like her. What does that mean for me right now? What about everything else?”
Fenny rolled her eyes. “Jason. Horse. Cart,” she said gesturing with both her hands far apart from each other. “Stop getting yourself worked up over questions we’re not even ready to ask yet. It’s taken us this long just to confirm that you actually like her and you’re worrying if you’ll have to elope because of her family’s opinion of you.”
Jason huffed a little. “Okay, fine. What question am I supposed to be asking myself now?”
Fenny wagged her finger. “It’s not your question. It’s hers. Does she like you?”
Jason could only blink dumbly at that. “How the hell am I supposed to find that out?” he asked, exasperated and flustered.
Fenny narrowed her eyes. “Really, Jason? You need me to walk you through that one, too?”
“I guess so,” Jason grumbled.
Fenny gave her head a few sad shakes. “You poor boy. Was your high school dating experience really that tragic?”
“I would’ve actually had to have dating experience in high school for it to be tragic or anything else. Now, will you please help me? If you need illustrations, charts, and graphs, fine, but just walk me through it, alright?” Jason groused.
Fenny grinned. “Ah, the young grasshopper seeks wisdom at the foot of the master. He shall receive. Okay, Jason honey. I’ll point out the obvious. She gave you her phone number.”
“And?”
“Seriously, Jason?” Fenny asked, now exasperated herself. “Isn’t it obvious that if she gave you her number, she might actually expect you to call it?”
Jason put his thumb and forefinger on his chin thoughtfully. “Stands to reason.”
“So, if you have a way to contact her, and you need to know how she might feel about you, what might your next course of action be?” Fenny leadingly asked.
“Um, I should call her and ask her if she might like me?” Jason proposed cautiously.
“Halle-friggin-lujah! He’s seen the light!” Fenny said, throwing her arms out and throwing her head back toward the sky.
Jason frowned again. “What if she doesn’t?”
“Then she doesn’t. You can’t make people feel a certain way. At least you’ll know and you can move on with your life instead of angsting about it like a preteen girl.”
Jason winced. “Ouch. That’s cold, Fenny.”
Fenny shrugged. “I calls ‘em as I sees ‘em.”
“That you do,” Jason said with a sheepish look. “But a gentler touch might be preferred.”
Fenny grinned slyly. “Me? Gentle? Have we met before?” Both laughed at that. “Besides, you know the saying – ‘Spare the rod, spoil the man-child.’”
“Ah, yes. Book of Fenny, Chapter six, verse sixty-six,” Jason quipped.
“Ooh, am I the devil now?” Fenny asked coyly.
“You’re my personal tormentor, at least.”
“I like that. I’ll need to add that to my business cards. Sales Clerk, Love Guru, Bouncy Goddess, and Jay’s Personal Tormentor,” Fenny declared.
Jason chuckled a little, but the ambivalence on his face was still obvious. “Fenny, can I ask a scarier question?”
“Yeah?”
“What if she does?”
“Does what?” Fenny asked, confused.
“What if she does like me? What then?” Jason asked worriedly.
It was Fenny’s turn to wince. “Ye gods, boy! That’s not scary, that’s wonderful! Unless she is some sort of alien that eats their mate, what could possibly be scary about a girl liking you?”
“She’s. In. High. School,” Jason stated flatly, emphasizing each word for effect.
Fenny took a breath and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Once again, carts and horses, Jay. You should probably wait until you actually find out if she does like you before you worry about things like that,” Fenny said calmly. Jason opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off, “But since you’re gonna be hung up on that, no matter what I say, then I guess we should address it now, if only to spare your sanity. She said she was in high school, yes? Okay, so how old is she exactly?”
Jason shrugged. “I don’t know?”
“Well, how old could she be?” Fenny prodded.
“Well, I guess she could be anywhere between maybe fourteen to about eighteen,” Jason answered after giving the question a few moments thought.
“Fine. You’re what, twenty? Sophomore in college, right?”
“Yeah.”
Fenny nodded and gave the available information some more though. “Okay, what we have here is a age difference of anywhere between two and six years. So, what’s your comfort zone? Where do you draw the line? What could she tell you that makes you say ‘Sorry, the difference is too great for me to pursue something with you?’”
Jason closed his eyes and took a breath as he gave Fenny’s questions some thought. “Okay, I guess it’s not so much the age difference that bothers me as it is how far past the eighteen-year old line I’d be crossing. My own folks are about five years apart, and it never seemed an issue for them, but that’s probably not really relevant to me. I guess, I’d feel better is she was closer to the end of high school, than the beginning.”
“So, no younger than a junior, preferably not past fifteen or abouts?” Fenny asked.
“I guess that sounds right,” Jason answered quietly.
Fenny took that info in, nodded, and then crossed her arms. “Okay. Now, let’s get down to brass tacks. I assume that you are aware that if you were to pursue a relationship with someone younger than eighteen, and that relationship became physical, you’d be opening yourself to a lot of potential issues involving the law on top of the already obvious physical and emotional issues?”
“Why do you think I’m angsting so hard?” Jason grumbled quietly.
“Is it your intention to make it a physical relationship?”
“Not if she’s under eighteen,” Jason stated flatly.
“Are you positive about that? What if she wanted to make it physical? Would you say no?”
“Of course I would!” Jason said defensively.
“You’re sure?” Fenny prodded.
“Yes!” Jason grumbled, irritated.
“So, if you were to pursue a relationship with her and somewhere before her eighteenth birthday, she asked you to make love to her, you’d say no?”
Jason’s cheeks flushed. “Jesus Christ, Fenny! Of course I’d say no. What do you think I am?”
“And if she said that if you didn’t, the relationship would be over. Would you still stick to your guns?”
Jason’s face became ambivalent again. After a few agonizing moments, he answered quietly, “I’d have to. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror if I didn’t.”
Fenny gave Jason a scrutinizing look. While it might of appeared to others as if she was giving him a cynical glare, in reality she was emphatically probing his emotional output to judge his sincerity. His emotions were conflicted, no doubt, but he appeared to be sincere in his desire not to cross that line. “I believe you, Jason.”
“Yay,” Jason said flatly. “Does that count for anything?”
“Well, probably not in the grand scheme of things, but if you believe it and you’re truly committed to not crossing that line, then I cannot see an issue with pursuing a relationship with this Nicole girl,” Fenny said with a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “That is, of course, if does like you and she wants to pursue a relationship as well,” Fenny added with a well-timed smile.
Jason nodded half-heartedly. “But won’t people talk? I mean if we go out, won’t everyone who sees us just assume I’m some sort of cradle-robbing skeezebag?”
“Um, Jason honey, are you planning of wearing some sort of sandwich board that advertises that you’re dating a highschooler? Do you plan to shout to every person that crosses your path, ‘Hey! She’s in high school! Please, don’t judge us!’”
Jason shook his head vigorously. Fenny smiled and then said, “Then stop agonizing over it. People, for the most part, tend to mind their own damn business. Unless you go around drawing attention to it, most people wouldn’t give you two a second look. And in the case of the ones who do give you a second look, well, fuck ‘em. It’s none of their business. They’d judge you in any case, so if it wasn’t because of that, then it’d be for something else. Fuck ‘em and move on with your lives.”
Jason could only nod in blank silence. After a few awkward moments, he finally looked to Fenny and asked, “What about you? If I pursued this, would you think I was trolling the playground?”
“Does what I think matter?” Fenny asked seriously.
Jason nodded solemnly. “It matters to me.”
Fenny shrugged. “Honestly, I think as long as you don’t cross certain lines before you’re both ready, then I wish all the best for the both of you.” Her eyes then went dark. Jason could almost swear he saw a glimmer of yellow flames in the black pits of her pupils. “However, if you cross that line and you take advantage of her. If you abuse her trust, or if you hurt her physically or emotionally, then you will find yourself staring down the wrath of an avenging angel with the fury of nine hells at her back bearing down on your fragile mortal frame, and you will find no place on Earth where you will be able to hide from your fate.” Her expression immediately brightened and she smacked him twice on the cheeks playfully. “Capisce, buddy?”
Jason could only gulp nervously. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good boy,” she said with a sincere smile. She then jumped down from her counter top and planted a tender kiss on his forehead.
Jason blinked a few times, his expression a mix of confusion and serenity. He lightly touched his cheek. “What was that for?”
Fenny gave a broad toothy grin. “For luck.” She said with a wink. “Though, I get the feeling you really don’t need it.”
Jason smiled. “I’ll take all the luck I can get. Thanks, Fenny. I’ll give her a call tonight.”
“Yes, you will,” Fenny stated with authority. “Now, go on, get outta here. You got places to be and I got outfits to sell.”
Jason nodded appreciatively. “Thanks again, Fenny. I owe you,” Jason got up off the stool and began to walk away.
As he walked away, Fenny closed her eyes and mentally focused her goddess insight on him. When she opened her eyes again, she could see the many forces at work in the world swirling around her and everyone else like so many strings of light and energy - probability, destiny, and karma, along with so many others. With a few gestures, she gave a tug on a few of Jason’s probability strings. She reached into the ether, pulled the residual strands of the memory of the girl he encountered, a reddish thread attached to his heart, and began weaving the two forces together like a braid to increase the odds of them meeting again, sooner rather than later.
As she finished her minor manipulations, she was surprised to see a black, almost oily karmic thread trailing behind him. That seemed odd. She didn’t think he’d done anything to bring about such a dark karma anchor. She was tempted to tug on it to see where it led when she realized that Jason had turned back to give her a final wave goodbye and was giving her a odd look, having no doubt noticed the odd gestures she had been making with her hands. She released her focus and watched the glowing threads around him evaporate. She smiled and gave a confident thumbs-up gesture.
Jason looked a little confused, but returned the gesture, and continued walking away. A moment later he was gone and Fenny was left with a mystery.
Make it two mysteries, actually. As soon as Jason was gone, her ethereal instincts flared to life again. She was sure she was being watched, but from where? Fenny checked her periphery and noticed a rack of dresses rustle slightly.
She then grinned. While she had never encountered this person before, she could at least sense that a few things about him: 1. He was human. 2.) He was male. 3.) He was young. 4.) He was very, very stupid. There was a young man hiding in the dress rack watching her. This had the potential to be some fun.
She tried not to stare directly at the rack. The last thing she wanted to do was scare whoever this was away. First, she casually walked over to another rack and sorted a few dresses. She then refolded a few sweaters on a tiered display table. Finally, she nonchalantly walked over to the rack in question, and proceeded to yank open the dresses on their hangers like a set of curtains.
A greasy-looking teenaged boy with slicked hair, wearing a leather jacket and faded jeans, stumbled out from his hiding place and ended up falling flat on his face. A paperback tome of Shakespeare with a Waldenbooks receipt sticking out as a bookmark along with a spiral bound notebook slid across the floor. He quickly snatched both objects with his left hand, which was covered with black leather glove.
“Care to tell me why you were spying on me?” Fenny asked, arms crossed and leaning against the dress rack that the boy had emerged from.
The boy stood up quickly and straightened himself. “I wasn’t spying on you!”
Fenny raised a knowing eyebrow. “Oh? Does that mean you were spying on my friend then? I don’t think he’s your type, to be honest with you.”
The boy’s eyes bugged out in shock. “No! No! No! I don’t stalk dudes! I’m 100% about chicks.”
“I see,” Fenny said slowly. “So, you weren’t spying on either one of us?”
“That’s… that’s right!” the boy stated nervously.
Fenny then nodded in understanding. “I understand now. You were just discreetly trying to look at the dresses. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of straight and supposedly macho guys enjoy trying on the clothing of the fairer sex.”
The boy’s jaw dropped in horror. “What?!”
Fenny started pulling a few dresses off the rack and held them up to boy’s torso. “Let me tell you, it’s really refreshing to see someone younger who truly understands himself come in for a change. Most of the guys I get tend to be older. Usually middle-aged guys who got tired to explaining to the wife why her favorite things are always stretched out and finally came clean. No offense, it’s always nice to help someone feel pretty, but let’s be honest, most if them fill out a dress about as well as you’d expect.
“Now, you on the other hand. Ooh, I could do such wonderful things with your frame. I have this short black number that with the right stockings, makeup, and padding would look absolutely dynamite on you.” Fenny then held up a black bustier and looked him up and down.
“I ain’t some dress-wearing fairy!” The boy gasped in disgust,.
“Look, I’m sure you’ve supposedly heard your macho friends or your dad or whatever tell you that wanting to feel pretty is supposedly ‘gay’ or ‘sissy’ or whatever, but it’s okay to be yourself here. I’m not here to judge you. I just want to help free that lovely butterfly you’ve got cocooned inside that drab leather getup you got there. When we’re done here, you’ll be the prettiest girl in the store,” Fenny said confidently, while reassuringly patting the boy’s hand.
“Really?” the boy asked, genuinely curious. A moment later, he furiously shook his head, grabbed the clothing out of her hands, and roughly hung them back on the rack. “I’m not some sissy cross dresser! I was watching you, okay!”
Fenny crossed her arms angrily. “Well then, you’ve got fifteen seconds to tell me why you were spying on me before I call mall security and have you escorted from the premises.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Please don’t call the mall cops on me! I heard that there was this like super relationship guru who worked at the mall. Everyone says she’s like a regular Dr. Love or something. I just wanted to see if it was true,” the boy nervously explained.
“And supposing it is true. What do you need with this supposed ‘Dr. Love’?” Fenny asked flatly.
“Well, I got a chick that totally digs me but can’t admit it to herself that I’m the stud of her dreams,” the boy said with a self-assured grin etched across his acne-scarred face.
“Right,” Fenny said skeptically. “I couldn’t imagine why any ‘chick’ wouldn’t throw herself at a ‘stud’ like you.”
“Yeah, it’s weird. I think she’s just totally shy. You know how nervous around guys chicks get.”
Fenny’s eyes narrowed. “Shy, eh? Well, has she said anything to you to let you know that she wants to be pursued by such a fine example of masculinity such as yourself?”
“Well, y’know the usual.”
“The usual?”
“Y’know, ‘I’ve got no interest in you whatsoever.’ ‘Stop following me.’ ‘I’ve got mace and I know how to use it.’ The sort of stuff chicks always say so guys won’t think they’re sluts,” the boy explained.
Fenny frowned, a cold fire smoldered behind her eyes, but she kept a level tone. “Have you perhaps thought about a change in your approach? Maybe, ahem, ‘shy’ girls like her don’t respond well to a forceful personality such as yours.”
“Oh, I’m already way ahead of you there. I’m totally moving onto the whole romance crap angle.”
“Romance… crap?” Fenny warily asked, not really sure if she wanted to know what he thought was supposedly romantic.
“Y’know, flowers, poems by that Willie Skates-on-the-pier guy, showering once a day, stuff like that. It’s lame, I know, but chicks seem to get all giggly for it.”
“Yeah, I guess they would,” Fenny said with a roll of her eyes that the boy seemed to completely miss. “Well, it sounds like you already got everything all figured out. Why’d seek out a relationship guru such as I?”
“Well, when I found out that the love expert everyone was raving about was a chick, I had my doubts, but then I thought that maybe it’s like those old Westerns. When you go into Injun country, you get an Injun guide. So, if I was gonna try to finally snag my chick, maybe another chick would tell me how to talk to her in that crazy girl language you all seem to speak to each other,” the boy said, beaming and obviously proud of himself.
Fenny’s eye twitched. Her teeth clenched into a twisted smile. Did he just call me… chick? she thought. “Yes, I see. I think I can help you,” she said slowly.
“Great! Finally, a chick who knows how to get things done when a man asks her,” the boy said, now emboldened.
Fenny’s eye spasmed again. The smile grew slightly more twisted. She then held her hand up forcibly. “Quiet! I need a moment to think,” she then looked at him before closing her eyes.
“Yeah, sure, just don’t take too long. I gotta meet my brother in front in like fifteen minutes…”
“Shhhhh…” Fenny said, her tone dangerous.
The boy stiffened. An ancient primal fear suddenly crawled up the back of his neck, its roots traced back to a time when the earliest hominids huddled together, constantly on the lookout for the dangerous predators that made meals of them. “Okay,” he said, meekly.
Fenny focused her thoughts. She began to probe deeper into the boy who stood before her to understand where his over inflated sense of importance and entitlement came from. Some people were as easy to read as an open book. Whoever this clown was, he was an audiobook read by Brian Blessed being broadcasted across the Grand Canyon.
For the first time ever, scanning a mind made her feel like she wanted to throw up in her mouth. This boy… this boy was… this boy just wasn’t right. Not in the head, not in the soul, and especially not in the libido department. Fenny had seen some depraved fantasies, but this guy made Caligula look like Mother friggin’ Theresa.
In the center of that oily mental landscape, Fenny sensed one image – a woman who was the unfortunate object of his unnatural desires. A woman with short red hair. A very familiar red-haired woman that Fenny remembered selling a tight black dress to just two days prior. A dress she purchased for a date. A date with… another woman. Meaning this boy was in love with a…
Suddenly Fenny burst out laughing hysterically, literally doubled over, grasping her sides, and unable to catch her breath.
“What?! What’s so funny?!” the boy demanded.
Fenny coughed a few times, wiped a couple of tears from her eyes, and waved her hand slightly. “Sorry, I just remembered a joke from last week’s episode of Homeboys in Outer Space,” Fenny lied. She then grinned and looked the jackass in the eye.
“Okay, I’ve given what you’ve told me some thought and I believe I know the way to win the heart of your reluctant belle,” Fenny stated, desperately trying to keep a straight face.
“Lay it on me,” the boy said eagerly.
“Stay away from her,” Fenny stated calmly.
The boy’s face twisted into a mask of confusion. “Huh?”
“See, you’ve gone about it all backwards. The harder you’ve chased her, the more she’s pulled away, right?”
“Yeah, but like I said, she’s just shy about her true feelings.”
“So you need to turn the tables on her. Right now, she’s got the power because she’s made you chase her, but if you suddenly stop pursuing her, then she’ll realize how much she truly, pfft, desires you. Soon, you’ll have the power because she’ll be the one coming after you,” Fenny said, desperately trying not to burst out in laughter at the pure bull she was feeding him.
The boy’s eyes suddenly lit up as if a light had been turned on for the first time in that dark empty place he called a brain. “That’s… That’s… brilliant! Yeah! That’s just like a chick to do that! I’ll show her. I’ll used her own chick tricks against her and then when she comes runnin’ for some some sweet Taylor Kuntz lovin’, she’ll have to beg me for it.”
“Oh, yeah, totally,” Fenny said with an exaggerated set of nods.
The boy grabbed Fenny’s hand and gave it a few enthusiastic shakes. “Thanks, Dr. Love! Y’know, you’re pretty smart for a chick.”
Fenny faked a strained smile and said through clenched teeth, “Thanks. That’s some high praise, for sure.”
“I gotta go! Thanks again. I’m gonna tell my brother all about you! Maybe you can help him turn the tables on his bitch ex-girlfriend. Later, Dr. Love!” The boy gave an enthusiastic wave and was off on his way.
Fenny continued to force herself to smile as he walked away. Sure, why not? Why don’t you send over your whole messed up family? Maybe I can get you all out of the gene pool, lest you further pollute it, you sicko. The moment he was out of sight, the smile broke and her eyes narrowed in cold fury.
The most foolish thing a mortal could do was aggrieve a goddess. Now, she could’ve given him a piece of her mind while he was there and she would’ve had the satisfaction of knowing she sent him home quaking in terror for the next fortnight, but where was the fun in that? Why bother cursing him out, when she could smile sweetly and simply curse him.
She grinned evilly and cracked her knuckles. He clasped her hands together in a prayer-like pose and concentrated her aura outward. After a few moments, the predator found her prey. Pouncing on the stupid foolish boy’s karmic threads, she wove them into the cursed tapestry of spiritual punishment that he truly deserved.
May you never know the touch of a woman, nor even the touch of a desperate man. May your only consort be the one at the end of your wrist. May you travel the ends of the Earth forever and yet never win even a modicum of affection from the red-haired woman you so desire. May she rebuff you forevermore until you finally realize you wasted your life on a futile quest. Also, may you go bald by the time you’re twenty-five, you greasy fuck! On this day and forevermore, I curse thee, mortal!
Her curse completed, Fenny felt herself go a little weak-kneed. It’d been awhile since she’d done that and she forgot how much it took out of her. She grabbed her stool and sat down on it to catch her breath.
That felt good. Fenny probably wouldn’t have been able to stop that greasy dork’s unwanted wooing of that poor girl, Matty, permanently. Well, short of incineration, nothing probably could stop that. Fenny probably bought her a couple month’s respite from him, at least and that was something. Fenny highly doubted that he had the resolve to stay away for longer than that. In nothing else, her curse guaranteed that the jackass would never get laid and that couldn’t possibly be a bad thing.
She began to giggle and soon her giggling turned into full-fledged maniacal laughter.
“Something funny, sis?” a familiar female voice asked from behind her.
“I know that laugh. That’s not a funny laugh,” another female voice commented, flatly.
Fenny grimaced and slowly turned around on her stool. Standing behind her were two young women. Fenny gave a weak smile and an even weaker wave. “Um, hi sisters.”
Jason strolled through the mall corridors with a slight spring in his step. For some reason, he felt abso-friggin-lutely fan-tucking-fastic. He couldn’t explain it. He should be exhausted and anxious about everything that made up his world, but a few minutes with Fenny and he felt like he could run up Everest. Backwards.
Logically, his brain told him, he should be angsting harder than ever. True, he at least moved on from deciding whether or not to contact Nicole Porter, but now that he resolved to actually do it, a whole new closet of insecurities should be flinging itself open with monsters of doubt and uncertainty ready to leap out and terrify him. For some unfathomable reason, they seemed to be taking the day off.
There were also all the other nagging little worries that were currently complicating his life, ranging from his current workplace satisfaction to the rapidly approaching deadline for a paper that was due for an 8 AM class the next morning for which he’d yet to write word one.
Right at this moment, however, they were all just fluffy clouds floating overhead. They were there, but they just didn’t seem like the carried as much weight as they used to. He felt too damn good about himself to listen to all the niggling doubts and worries.
He bounced along the corridor, deftly dodging other shoppers with a series of jukes and spin moves that was one Leonard Bernstein score away from being a choreographed musical dance number. He was on top of the world and, from now on, nothing was going to stand in his way.
At exactly the same time as he made that unsaid declaration to the world, he proceeded to crash right into someone who was in his way as they were exiting Family Pet Center, causing both parties to come crashing to the floor and several bags to scatter across the mall corridor.
“Ow!” the person who he had crashed into said with a very familiar voice.
Jason shook his head, blinked a few times, rubbed his eyes in disbelief, blinked a few more times, pinched himself, and finally acknowledged that yes, what had just happened had, in fact, just happened.
Sitting on the ground across from him was Nicole Porter. He had just crashed into Nicole Porter. He had hoped to run into her again soon, but this seemed a touch too literal for his taste.
She gingerly rubbed her backside. “Jeez, what’s the big idea?”
“Um, hello,” Jason said meekly with a very small wave.
Nicole blinked a few times upon realizing who had just knocked her down. “Jay?” She slowly began to pick herself up. “Well, I’ll say that this is certainly a surprise. I didn’t expect to run into you quite this soon, or quite this literally,” she said with a grin.
Jason scampered to pick himself up from off the ground and offer Nicole a hand, even though she was pretty much already back on her feet. “Um, sorry. I would say that I didn’t see you there, but I guess that’s pretty obvious,” he said nervously, feeling quite embarrassed and not wanting to look her directly in the eyes. His eyes darted to the bags lying on the ground and he quickly bent down to gather them. “Here, let me get those!”
Nicole smiled. “Thanks and it’s no big deal. I didn’t see you either.” She watched as he tried to gather up the several plastic shopping bags that lay scattered, stumbling slightly as he tried to do it as quickly as possible while also avoiding other customers, uttering apologies as anyone got near. She smiled and shook her head slightly. Charmingly clutzy and courteous. That’s two more items for the list.
Jason finished his task and stood up. “Wow, a lot of stuff here.” He looked at the bags and saw the Family Pet Center logo. “You have pets?”
Nicole gave a slight nod. “I kinda adopted one last night. I needed a few things for him.”
Jason looked at the bags, seeing a few of the items partially sticking out of them. “Hmmm… let’s see. Cat food, cat litter, litter box, food and water bowls, catnip, scratching pad, and a felted mouse attached by a string to a stick. My powers of deduction are telling me that you have adopted… wait, don’t tell, it’s coming to me… a penguin?” He said with a stupid grin.
Nicole rolled her eyes and smirked. “Funny man.”
“I have my moments,” Jason said, trying to play cool.
Nicole grinned deviously. “You’ll have to let me know when you have one.”
Jason clutched his heart, grasping the invisible arrow that just impaled him. The bags flopped about in his hands. “Ouch! Thou woundeth me and my ego egregiously, fair lady! Stay thy hand and spare yours truly further humiliation.”
Nicole laughed which was a pleasant sound to Jason’s ears. “Shakespeare in the Mall, eh?”
“Well, it’s usually the warm up act for my one-man show ‘Monty Python in the Parking Lot’,” Jason commented.
Nicole laughed again, which made Jason smile. Around them, several people rushed around them, trying to pass by them either to move further down the corridor or to enter the pet supply store. Jason noticed some of the looks he and she were getting. “Oh, we should probably move out of the way. Here’s your stuff,” he said holding out the bags.
She accepted half of them then gestured with her head behind her. “While don’t you walk with me for a moment. I was just going to drop these off at my sister’s car before going off to meet her. That is, if you don’t mind.”
Jason shook his head vigorously. “No, no, I don’t mind at all,” he said as he followed behind her when she started moving on. He quickly caught up to her and started walking beside her. There was silence for a moment and Jason felt it was of the awkward variety, so he chose to break it. “So, is Kirstin here too?”
Nicole shook her head. “Other sister. Older sister actually. She drove me down after work so I could pick up some stuff for Neko-chan.”
Jason nodded. “Ah.” He then looked to her and grinned. “‘Little Cat?’ That’s an odd name for a penguin.”
“I still have mace left from yesterday,” Nicole deadpanned.
Jason chuckled and they walked on. “So, what’s your sister’s name, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Sarah. She’s the oldest of us. Technically, I’m the middle child, as I was born about three minutes before Kirstin,” Nicole answered.
“All girls, eh? Your father must be up at nights.” Jason commented.
Nicole went silent and looked down at her feet as they walked, her pace slowing by half a step. Jason looked over and saw the frown on her face. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”
Nicole snapped out of her thought and looked over. “Sorry. It’s just… well, my parents died a long time ago.”
Jason’s expression turned to one of horror. “Oh… Oh god, I’m such an ass!” he said as he smacked his palm over his eyes with a pained grimace.
Nicole shook her head. “No, no! It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”
“God, I’m so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry,” Jason pleaded.
“It’s okay, okay? It’s not your fault. Let’s just talk about something else, please?” Nicole asked quietly.
The pair went silent and started walking again. Another awkward silence enveloped them. Jason shifted his eyes toward Nicole, giving her furtive glances. Once or twice their eyes caught each other, but quickly retreated in the other direction.
“I’m sorry,” Jason said quietly.
Nicole stopped, turned to protest, then went silent, and simply nodded. “It’s okay. Honest, it really is. I’m not mad or insulted or anything. When you grow up without parents, it sometimes jars you a little to hear mention of them as something you’re assumed to have. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I still wish I would’ve thought before I spoke,” Jason mumbled.
Nicole took his arm and patted it. “It’s not something you would normally think to consider. It’s not your fault, and you didn’t do anything wrong, so stop beating yourself up. Now, let’s change subjects to something more pleasant, okay?”
Jason nodded hesitantly and the pair started walking again. “Can I ask you something? A few somethings, actually?”
Nicole shrugged. “Sure.”
“What grade are you in at Springfield Central?”
Nicole arched a curious eyebrow. “That’s an odd question. Just started Junior year.”
“So, that means you’re what, seventeen?” Jason asked, his tone wavering between nervous and hopeful.
“Next month I’ll be,” Nicole answered. She then turned her face toward him and asked, “What about you? What grade and school?”
Jason felt himself blush slightly. “Um, second year at AIC.”
Nicole stopped walking and blinked a couple times. She quickly recovered and began moving again before Jason could stop himself. “College boy, eh?”
“Y… yeah,” Jason admitted.
“No offense, but you don’t look it,” Nicole commented.
“Really?” Jason asked, surprised.
“It’s the face. You’ve got a baby face. Makes you look younger,” Nicole explained.
Jason took that in and shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe I should grow a mustache or a beard to make myself look older.”
Nicole gave his face a scrutinizing look. “Nope, don’t see it,” she said with a smile. “It’s not a bad thing, though you probably get carded all the time.”
“I’m not legally allowed to drink yet,” Jason stated reflexively.
Nicole smiled at that. “I see.”
“Hmmm?”
“It’s nothing.” Nicole then looked away and coughed. “So, what were the other somethings you wanted to ask?”
Jason looked away himself and went quiet.
“Jay?” Nicole asked when he didn’t respond.
“Your note,” Jason started.
“Yes?”
“What did you mean by it? I’ll admit I’m not the brightest bulb in the pack, so I don’t know if I am reading way too much into something innocent and platonic, or if it was meant as something more. Do you like me?” Jason asked, his voice quiet and nervous.
Nicole gave the question some thought. “I find you interesting, I’ll admit. I think I would like to get to know you better. Do I like you? That’s harder to answer. I don’t find you unpleasant to be around, if that helps.”
Jason absorbed that. “I find you interesting too, and I’ll be honest and admit that I find you attractive.”
Nicole smiled and slightly blushed. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m worried a little, okay, maybe more than a little about the age difference. I know three or four years isn’t much, but you’ve still got two years of high school. A lot of people would probably find it offensive or at least think it poor judgment on both our parts.”
Nicole gave Jason a knowing look. “It almost sounds like you’re thinking of asking me out on an outing that may have some romantic subtexts implied.”
Jason gulped and felt his face go crimson. “M…maybe.”
Nicole turned her gaze forward and shrugged. “It could be problematic, I suppose. It could also be worth the trouble. I guess that really depends on how we compose ourselves in regards to some of the more sticky issues a potential relationship between us would entail.” She then turned back to Jason. “That is, if you’re actually asking me out on a date.”
Jason met her gaze and nervously licked his lips. “Would you like to go out with me, sometime, maybe?”
Nicole chuckled lightly at Jason’s nervousness and gave an affirmative nod. “You doing anything Friday night?”
The pair reached the exit that led to the covered parking near the Mall’s bus stop. As they walked past a few cars, Jason gave some thought to his upcoming work schedule. He only had a morning class on Fridays and as for work, he pleasantly remembered that he had a rare Friday night off from the exciting world of video game sales. “Conveniently, no, I’m not doing anything Friday night.”
“Then yes, I would like to do something with you on Friday night,” Nicole said, grinning. “That will give me a few days to work on my big sister. She’s a touch protective.”
Nicole stopped in front of an older green sedan and set her bags down to reach into her purse. “This is ours,” She said pulled out a spare car key to open the trunk. “I really need to finish getting my license. I got the permit, but depending on Sarah or the bus all the time is getting to be a pain.” The trunk popped open and she start putting bags in.
“Um, Nicole, about the whole ‘sticky issues’ thing…” Jason started as he began handing her the bags he held.
“Relax, Jay. Let’s get through one date and see if there’s anything there before we start worrying about all that. Okay?”
Jason nodded. “Fair enough, I guess,” he said, feeling slightly less tense.
“You still have my number, right?” Nicole asked and Jason nodded, checking his pocket for the folded piece of paper that had not left his side the last two days. “Good. Call me Thursday night and I’ll let you know what Sarah said, or rather how I convinced her that I’m no longer six years old.”
“Should I do anything else?” Jason asked.
“It’s probably best if I handle my sister. As I said, she’s protective of me and Kirstin and not exactly very fond of the Y-chromosome right now,” Nicole stated as she swung the trunk lid down with some force to close it securely.
Jason nodded his acceptance of that. “Okay. I guess I should go then. I’m actually parked three lanes over, so I think I’m just gonna go home from here.”
“Okay. I have to go meet Sarah. I’m glad I ran into you again, Jay,” Nicole said, extending her hand, still smiling warmly.
Jason hesitated for a moment, feeling unsure and awkward. He took the hand gave it a shake, then held it to his mouth and lightly kissed it. When Nicole didn’t jerk her hand back in shock or disgust, he felt some of the his tension ease slightly. “Until Thursday?”
Nicole nodded. “Until Thursday.” She then turned away from the car and began to walk away giving a short wave as she did. “Goodbye, Jay.”
Jason returned the wave. “Goodbye, Nicole.” He then stood by her sister’s car for a few extra moments as she walked away and back into the mall.
Did he just make a date with her? He did, didn’t he? That actually just happened, right? That deserved a reaction, Jason realized. He pumped both fists in triumph and growled an enthusiastic “Yes!” to himself.
He then spun on his heel and began to walk toward his own car. The happy swing in his step was even bolder and more pronounced than after he had spoken to Fenny, though with seemingly less chance of crashing into potential romantic interests now that he was in the parking lot.
As he reached his car he reached into his pocket to pull out his keys, taking care to make sure he didn’t accidentally pull out Nicole’s number in the process. He needed to commit it memory, he thought, but until then he need to make sure he didn’t lose it. He should make a few extra copies just in case.
As he stuck the key into the lock, he heard another familiar voice, this one he’d wished he’d never hear again.
“Boy, yer ass is mine,” the voice growled.
Jason slowly turned toward the voice and saw that it was him - the man that had broken his nose the day prior. His eyes were bloodshot and the surrounding skin was so inflamed from Nicole’s mace that it looked as if he was wearing a puffy pink domino mask.
Jason took a step back and held his hands out as if an aggravated dog was approaching him. “Look, I don’t want any trouble.”
“I don’t give a flyin’ fuck what you want you ginger lovin’ dago cocksucker,” Red Eyes barked as he cracked his knuckled menacingly.
Jason’s expression piqued in confusion. Ginger lovin’? Did he see me with…?
Red Eyes noticed and sneered. “Yeah, we saw you and your little cunt walkin’ to her car and after we finish up with you, that bitch’s ass is next.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed in anger and took a step toward the man. “Don’t you lay a hand on her, you…” suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks. Something in the back of his mind nagged at him and it had taken a few moments for his brain to figure out what exactly he had just heard before it registered. “Wait a minute… ‘We’?”
From off to his left, he heard a loud metallic knocking sound. He shifted his position to see what it was while still keeping Red Eyes in his peripheral vision. Standing there, knocking a fist against another car’s trunk, a second man made his presence known. He was about half a foot taller than Red Eyes with a visible beer gut protruding over his dirty blue jeans. His white “wife beater” stretching to contain his girth, leaving it impossible to button the sleeveless green and blue flannel shirt he wore over it. His head was shaved and he had a dark brown goatee. He grinned when Jason noticed him and Jason could see the rather pronounced gap in his front two teeth that would make David Letterman feel bad for the guy.
Despite the rather large gut the second man had, Jason had to admit that he also carried a impressive pair of rather muscular arms as well. They were well defined and looked to have been carved from granite. Both arms were rather colorfully illustrated, but one piece of artwork on his right upper arm particularly caught his attention. Emblazoned proudly on his arm was a picture of a woman that could be described as a cross between a Valkyrie warrior and Daisy Duke, riding atop a giant bald eagle, waving a Confederate flag in one hand and brandishing a assault rifle in the other. Inscribed under it was something or other about true patriots never dying or some such, but Jason couldn’t make that part out clearly and he was not about to ask for a closer look.
The second man came up to stand beside his friend. He pulled something brass colored from his front pocket and proceeding to slip it on his right hand as Red Eyes did the same. Jason swallowed hard. “Oh… crap.”
Fenny looked at the two woman staring back at her, one happily, the other disapprovingly. The happy one was a wiry girl in her early twenties with platinum blonde hair tied in a pair of braided pigtails. She had brilliant blue eyes, a small button nose, and pronounced dimples. Her Nordic heritage seemed to be even more obvious by her outfit choice: of fur edged leather boots, which she wore over pair of tight blue jeans and a dark purple Minnesota Vikings sweatshirt.
The other was tall, thin to the point of being almost skeletal, and extremely pale. Her hair was blacker than night during a new moon and cropped in a short pixie cut. Her features were elegant, almost statuesque, as if carved by a Renaissance master from the finest marble. Her eyes were the color of steel and they lurked behind a pair of thin wire-frame glasses, which rested on her delicate nose. She wore a charcoal gray unzipped hoodie over a black Ramones t-shirt. Below that, she wore an indigo-colored full length skirt and a pair of open-toed sandals that peeked out from time to time when she moved.
“Feng Ni La,” the black-haired woman stated flatly.
“Hiya Fenny! Been a while,” the blonde said with a grin.
“Sisters,” Fenny said cautiously. “Um, what are you doing here?”
“We could ask you the same thing, sister. Why are you still here?” the black-haired woman asked dryly.
“Oh, don’t mind Ms. Gloomy, Fenny. We both missed you and wanted to check in to see how you were doing,” the blonde girl said, dismissing her companion’s comment with a hand wave.
“Don’t speak for me, Sonjagaard. I hate when you do that,” the black-haired woman said flatly, yet still annoyed. She then turned her attention to Fenny. “I will admit, however, that your presence back at the Agency has been missed.”
“Ain’t she just a big gooey mess of sentimentality?” Sonjagaard joked.
“Now, Sonya, for Jordi that is being sentimental, and I appreciate the sentiment very much,” Fenny stated sincerely.
“I hate that nickname, Feng Ni La. My name is Jordan,” the black-haired woman corrected.
“Your objections are noted, Jordi. As oldest sister, it’s my prerogative to annoy the hell out of you,” Fenny said with a smile.
“You’re very successful at it, sister,” Jordan said dryly.
Fenny and Sonjagaard both cracked a laugh. “And they say you have no sense of humor, sis!” Sonjagaard said with an elbow nudge.
“Whoever they are, they’re right. Now, can we please get to the point of our visit?” Jordan asked.
“So, you’re not just here because you missed me?” Fenny asked with mock sadness. “I guess I haven’t been away long enough then.”
“You’ve been on ‘sabbatical’ in the mortal world for eleven months. That is more than long enough for your absence to impact us,” Jordan stated.
“Well, on that point, I gotta agree with the dark cloud that is our sister. While I don’t mind you taking your vacations, things are starting to back up back at home. We’re managing, but having a third set of hands again would ease the burden a bit. Are you planning to come back home soon?” Sonjagaard asked.
Fenny shrugged her shoulders. “I hadn’t given much thought to my return. We’re going to be starting the holiday rush here soon. Plus, I have, um, projects I’m working on at the moment that I would want to see through before leaving.”
Sonjagaard and Jordan looked to each other and frowned slightly. Fenny caught this. “What? What is it?”
Sonjagaard looked to Jordan. She nodded slightly and said, “Tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Fenny asked, confused by the looks her sisters were giving each other.
Sonjagaard hesitated but eventually spoke. “We’ve gotten a few visits down at the Affairs department. People asking questions. Task Demons usually, but occasionally angels, too.”
“What kind of questions?” Fenny asked, concerned.
“Mostly about your sabbaticals over the last century. Where you went. Why you were away. Details you shared with us. Every additional month you’ve been gone, we get another visit, asking if you’ve checked in with the department or if you’ve set a return date,” Sonjagaard answered.
“It appears that your activities are being investigated for some reason, sister, and they are increasing the intensity of the inquiries. In the last month, we’ve had four separate visits in regards to you,” Jordan interjected.
“We’ve tried to cover for you. We’ve told them that you’ve checked in regularly, even though you haven’t, and we’ve tried to keep up on the workload so as it would appear that your absence has not had a negative impact on the department, but we’re starting to fall behind. It’s just too much for only the two of us,” Sonjagaard explained.
Fenny nodded and frowned. “Sorry, sisters. I didn’t realize it was being a burden on you.”
Sonjagaard smiled and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s not a burden. We know that of the three of us, you get the worst of it. Hell, I’ll admit I’m selfish in wanting you to come back, because after doing only half of your job, I want to take a few years off myself. “
“I will admit, as well, that your duties are particularly taxing, and even I find myself wishing to hand those unpleasant tasks back to someone better equipped to deal with them,” Jordan said quietly.
Fenny nodded and sighed sadly. “Yeah, it’s a bad job, but someone has to do it. It just sucks that it has to be me.”
“But it’s not just the workload strain that’s got us worried, sis. We could cope with that for a little while longer, at least. It’s all the attention from upstairs you’ve gotten that’s got us confused. What in creation do they think you’ve done?”
Fenny shifted uneasily on her stool and avoided her sisters’ eyes. “I have no idea,” she answered with an indifferent shrug.
Jordan arched a skeptical eyebrow that went unnoticed by Sonjagaard and Fenny. Sonjagaard, meanwhile, leaned against the sales counter and crossed her arms. “Well, whatever it is or was, they’re not giving up. They keep asking when you are returning and they’ve made it quite obviously they don’t like that answer being uncertain.”
“So, what are you saying?” Fenny asked.
Sonjagaard sighed. “In order to get them to ease some of the pressure, we’d told them that the last time you checked in, you had set your return date. “
“You what?!” Fenny asked, exasperated.
“It was either that or allow them to continue their constant uninvited inquiries, which was impacting our ability to keep up with the workflow and if we failed at that, then that could only cause more issues for you as it might’ve been seen as you were abandoning your duties. While we appreciate how well you cope with the difficult duties you are charged with, the time has come for you to come home,” Jordan stated emphatically.
“How long? When did I supposedly set my return for?” Fenny asked quietly.
“The end of the month. We wanted to give you enough time to cleanly wrap up any mortal affairs you may have,” Jordan answered.
“That’s… so soon,” Fenny said with a sigh. “I had… well, I…”
“Hmm?” Sonjagaard asked.
Fenny bit her lip. “Nothing.”
“Will you come home at the end of the month, sis?” Sonjagaard asked nervously.
Fenny nodded sadly. “Yeah. Sorry about all the trouble. I’ll come back and straighten everything out with the Agency. It’s probably just a big misunderstanding over vacation paperwork or something. Sorry about all the hassle you’ve gone through. Thanks for covering for me. You guys are the best.”
“Well, yeah, true,” Sonjagaard said with a sad smile.
“We should return, Sonjagaard,” Jordan said quietly.
“Yeah. Unfortunately, we’re not on vacation. We gotta get back to the hustle and bustle. It’ll be good to have you back, sis. We did miss you, y’know, and not just because of the extra work. Frankly, without you around, I don’t know how much longer I was going to be able to go before I fed the walking doom cloud we call a sister to the wild boars.”
“That would be impossible, Sonjagaard,” Jordan commented flatly.
“See what I mean?” Sonjagaard said to Fenny with a wry grin.
Fenny chuckled, nodded, and smiled. “I’ll be home soon, I promise. Don’t kill each other for a couple more weeks, okay?” She then hugged Sonjagaard, who returned the gesture with a hug of her own, brimming with boisterous vitality.
“Thanks again, sis,” Fenny said to Jordan as she embraced the other sister. Jordan gave a half-hearted pat with her left hand and looked more embarrassed than anything else until Fenny released her, which seemed to amuse Sonjagaard.
“I’ll see you soon, Jordi, Sonya,” Fenny said.
“Can’t wait until you’re back. Bye, sis,” Sonjagaard said with a wave goodbye.
Jordan gave Fenny a scrutinizing gaze, but finally relented, and replaced it with a smile. “I look forward to your return as well, sister. Farewell.”
A moment later, the two vanished, leaving Fenny standing alone in her department. She frowned and sighed. She then picked up the stool she had been using and put it back behind the counter.
After doing a quick circuit through her department, straightening and organizing it as she went, she went behind her counter. She planted her left elbow on it and slumped her face on her left palm. “Guess, the vacation’s over,” she said with a depressed sigh.
She checked her watch and sadly smiled. Break time. After everything she’d had to deal with today, she desperately wanted a cigarette. Even goddesses were allowed their vices. She opened a drawer next to her register, pulled out a pack of Virginia Slims and her lighter, then called over to a coworker in the adjoining children’s department and told her that she was taking a fifteen minute smoke break.
She left and made her way towards the back stockroom. A few moments after she departed, a concentrated wisp of black smoke seeped out from a circular dress rack next to the one that the greasy boy had used to hide whilst observing Fenny. It quickly reformed itself into the shape of Ty. He adjusted his trench coat and glasses. He looked about for a few moments, then quickly walked off in the same direction as Fenny had.
Meanwhile, the sales clerk in the children’s department slowly milled about the sales floor, straightening, folding, and stacking merchandise as she went about her way. At one display, she set down a large stack of young boys’ sweaters on a table, right at the feet of a mannequin designed to look like an adorable toe-headed little boy. As she folded and organized the sweaters, she never looked up, which is why she never noticed that the mannequin’s eyes were yellow and cat-like.
Jason watched as the two men approached him. The trunk of his car was at his back, which meant he could back away no further. At least that was what the two attackers thought as the pair bore down on him, and thus they were, unsurprisingly, probably very stunned when Jason proceeded to leap backwards, clearing almost four vertical feet to land standing on the back of his cream-colored coupe’s trunk.
The pair stood in slack-jawed amazement, unbelieving that they had just witnessed a dumpy five foot seven white guy just pull off something from Jackie Chan’s playbook. Jason took advantage of the momentary distraction and launched himself at the pair in a flying kick.
His right foot planted itself square in Red Eyes’ sternum, sending him stumbling backward drunkenly. As he delivered the kick, using Red Eyes as leverage, he pushed his right leg off his chest and used the momentum to deliver a solid kick to the jaw of Gap Tooth with his left heel. Judging by the force of the kick, Jason thought he might he have to change his designation for the new man to “No Teeth.”
Gap Tooth clutched his face in pain and crashed hard into Jason’s car’s trunk. Jason landed in a three-point stance, taking a moment to collect himself before arising again and surveying his tactical position. He had split the pair up, but he had now put one to either side of him. Still not the best position to be in when it’s two-on-one odds, but he’d have to make do.
Red Eyes steadied himself and eyed Jason with the same murderous rage he had exhibited the day prior, when Nicole insinuated he was the product of illicit affairs between blood relatives. He charged at Jason, cocking his clenched fist back to deliver another shot at Jason’s face. Jason sidestepped the punch, and watched Red Eyes’ fist blow past his eyes. Jason gripped Red Eyes’ arm with both hands, then proceeded to heave him over his shoulder with a judo-style throw, using Red Eyes’ weight against him, and sending him crashing into Gap Tooth, thus causing Gap Tooth to smash face first into the car’s trunk again.
The pair slowly picked themselves up from the cold pavement, Red Eyes holding his shoulder gingerly and Gap Tooth wheezing through a mouth full of loose and bloody Chiclets. They both looked at Jason with a smoldering fury. Jason looked behind him and saw that he now had a clear path to flee back toward the mall. He then opted not to do so. Instead, he looked at the pair of bloody and bruised attackers, smirked broadly, and then crooked his fingers and palm in a gesture inviting them to “bring it.”
The pair growled and both charged at him again, Gap Tooth charging ahead of his cohort with Red Eyes literally right behind him. Jason took a deep breath and dropped down and swept his right leg in a 360 degree rotation, which caught Gap Tooth by surprise and took his legs out from under him, sending him ass over teakettle and causing the back of his head to slam the pavement with a resolute thud.
While the sweep had missed Red Eyes, Jason accounted for that with his next motion. He leapt from his crouched position. Whilst screaming “Sho Ryu Ken!”, he delivered a leaping spinning uppercut, catching Red Eyes perfectly on the chin and sending him flying backwards at least ten feet.
Landing on his feet again, Jason placed both hands at his side and imagined holding an object the size of a basketball. In the space between his hands, sparks of energy snapped and sizzled, forming themselves into a translucent blue orb of chi. Jason then flung his hands forward in a motion simulating shoving the orb away, at which point a blast of blue light exploded out from his palms as he screamed, “HADOKEN, MOTHERFUCKER!”
When the energy has dissipated, Jason dropped to one knee, his head slumping slightly, and panted in exhaustion. He slowly looked up and smiled. Extending for some fifty feet in front of him was a ten foot wide swath of charred pavement, everything within its path having been vaporized which included Red Eyes, Gap Tooth, and unfortunately, also his car.
Man, that would’ve been AWESOME… was the thought that came to Jason as Red Eyes and Gap Tooth brought their brass knuckled fists down on him and with them, a new understanding of the concept of pain. In retrospect, incorporating attacks from Street Fighter II into his possible self-defense probably wasn’t a very feasible strategy, but considering the odds he had been facing, he might have been forgiven for disregarding reality in favor of a fantasy, no matter how unfeasible it seemed.
A reality, as he was rapidly learning, that really sucked and really, really hurt.
His brain, to its credit, was trying to distract itself from the rapidly increasing number of grievous acts of bodily harm that were being perpetrated on its host. This was not an easy thing, mind you, as they were very numerous. First, there was the nose, which was still extremely tender to the touch after being broken just a day prior. When Red Eyes smashed it again with extreme prejudice, well, that set off some alarm bells.
Fortunately, there wasn’t much time to focus on that. Unfortunately, that was because there were two metal-enhanced fists slamming themselves into his rib cage. Jason’s brain sent a memo to his body that it might good idea to curl up into a ball for some semblance of protection. Jason’s body couldn’t really respond to such a request because while Red Eyes was pummeling said ribcage, Gap Tooth was holding Jason’s arms back from behind. On the fifth punch, the brain recorded a distinctive snapping sound followed by the searing pain that could only be the result of ribs being broken. The brain sent a new memo to Jason’s mouth alerting him that it may be a good time to scream in pain. The two additional punches to said broken ribs that followed reinforced that notion.
Jason’s mouth proceeded to follow that advice, but due to the lack of oxygen from his now spasming diaphragm, the scream sounded more like a whispered choking gasp. Gap Tooth released Jason’s arms and Jason crumpled to the ground, instinctively clutching his fragile sides like a wounded animal as he did.
Jason whimpered slightly at the white hot knives being jammed into his lungs every time he tried to breathe. It was so painful, he almost didn’t notice the new pain that was originating from his kidneys and his head. Luckily, his brain made note of it and informed Jason that he was now being kicked, quite hard it would seem, in the back by Gap Tooth and on the top of the head by Red Eyes. The brain followed up this status report with a notification that it going on vacation now. It couldn’t be expected to maintain rational thought and consciousness under such conditions, so it was going on holiday.
As it was changing its away message for incoming calls and email whilst also packing up its briefcase, his brain asked Jason a rather strange question. So, where were you planning to take Nicole on your date this Friday?
Before Jason could give the question too much thought, his brain flicked the light switch in its office and everything went dark. He thought he had heard someone scream “Hey!” but as his brain wasn’t returning his calls, he just assumed he imagined it. A moment later, he slipped into unconsciousness.
A half-hour after she had left Jason, Nicole met with her older sister Sarah at their designated meeting place. They proceeded to make their way back to Sarah’s car in the covered parking area.
The pair were sipping smoothies from Mr. Smoothie and Sarah was carrying a bag from Filene’s. Sarah seemed to be in a pretty good mood, or at least a much better one than she’d been in recent weeks.
“Well, it sounds like you and your friend Matty had a nice time out, last night,” Nicole commented as Sarah recounted her adventure out with Matty Hayes while they walked.
Sarah took a thoughtful sip of her Orange-Banana Delight and nodded. “Yeah, it was great. I honestly can’t remember the last time I went out and just enjoyed myself like that.”
“So, what’s Matty like?” Nicole asked, curious about the mysterious new friend that had appeared in their lives recently.
Sarah shrugged. “She’s pretty nice, and she seems like she could end up being a pretty good friend, though how she can be friends with 'Mr. Testosterone' still mystifies me.”
“Well, having some friends wouldn’t hurt, sis, especially since there’s little hope of any romantic companionship as far as you’re concerned,” Nicole said before taking a protracted sip of her own beverage.
Sarah rolled her eyes. “Romantic companionship is way overrated, little sister. Be grateful you don’t have any guys bugging you right now. It starts out nice, and then the real jerk steps out from the behind the cardboard cutout of the nice guy he was pretending to be.”
Nicole shifted her eyes away and chuckled nervously. “Yeah, good thing I got nothing like that in my life.”
“Our sister though,” Sarah mused thoughtfully, “I’m not sure how comfortable I am with those boys she had over yesterday. Do you know anything about them?”
Nicole shrugged nonchalantly. “I know that one boy in particular has gotten her attention.”
Sarah gave Nicole a concerned look. “Who?”
“One of the Boy Scouts that also meet where our Troop meets. Aaron,” Nicole answered, playing with her straw a little before taking another sip.
“Do you know anything about him?” Sarah asked, not worriedly, but certainly not casually either.
“A little. He’s a grade behind us, if that matters at all,” Nicole said unconcerned.
Sarah frowned. “I might need to talk to Kirstin about this.”
It was Nicole’s turn to roll her eyes. “Geez, sis, this is Kirstin we’re talking about. You’re worrying way too much.”
“That’s why I’m worried. An immature kid like that could really hurt your sister. You know how sweet and trusting she can be.”
Nicole turned her face toward her sister. “So, you’d be more okay with it if Kirstin was interested in an older, more mature boy?” She asked cautiously
Sarah nearly choked on her smoothie. “That’s not what I meant!” Sarah gasped between coughs.
“We’re not in elementary school any more, sis. Guys are going to start showing interest in us,” Nicole stated, then quietly added under her breath, “and we’re starting to show some interest in them, too.”
“What was that?” Sarah asked, having missed Nicole’s mumbled comment.
“Nothing, sis,” Nicole answered quietly.
Sarah gave Nicole another scrutinizing look, then returned her attention to in front of her. “Well, as long as I’m taking care of the both of you, I’m going to look out for your best interests, and that covers potential boyfriends. I’m going to ask Kirstin about this Aaron boy to see what she really knows about him.”
“Of course you are,” Nicole said, bemused.
“And what does that not-so-innocuous comment mean, little sister?” Sarah asked, irritated.
“Nothing, big sister,” Nicole said flatly. “Nothing at all.” This is definitely going to take a few days, she thought to herself.
The pair reached the mall exit that led to the covered parking area and walked through. As they entered the lot, they both noticed a large crowd milling about a few rows of cars over from where they had parked. Nicole detected the telltale flashing of red bubble lights, either a police cruiser or an ambulance, or possibly both.
“What happened here?” Sarah asked, looking over at the crowd.
“Let’s check it out,” Nicole suggested and started toward the scene. When they reached the crowd of people, Nicole saw an EMT close the back door of an ambulance, then he got in the driver’s seat. A moment later, it slowly pulled out, a few State Troopers helping shuffle the crowd out of the way, so it could exit.
One Massachusetts State Trooper was busy conversing with a mall security officer. The name plate of his bluish-grey uniform said “Kelly.” He was not wearing his trooper hat, so they could see his meticulously slicked and combed black hair. His features were a mix of Mediterranean and possibly Irish. He was writing a few notes in a small note pad and thanking the graying mall guard for his help.
“Excuse me, Officer…” Nicole asked as the mall guard walked away.
“Trooper Kelly,” he corrected politely, though his voice seemed weary.
“Sorry,” Nicole apologized. “Can you tell me what happened here?”
Kelly looked around for a few moments and then checked his watch before deciding to speak. “Well, it looks like someone was assaulted in the lot about forty minutes ago. A young man was walking to his car when two other men approached him and then proceeded to physically attack him.”
“Oh dear,” Sarah said, surprised.
“Did they catch the guys who did it?” Nicole asked.
Kelly shook his head. “The two suspects are still at large. Apparently, when Mall security entered the parking area, they fled the scene. Unfortunately, our best witness appears to also have vanished.”
“Vanished?” Nicole asked skeptically.
“How does that happen?” Sarah asked.
Kelly shrugged. “Well, from what we can gather, a young woman witnessed the attack and alerted the mall security who then rushed to the scene. Unfortunately, somewhere between this witness alerting security and security calling us, she seems to have disappeared, slipping away when security was more focused on attending to the victim.”
“That’s terrible,” Sarah commented.
Kelly shrugged. “It’s not uncommon. A lot of people are afraid to get involved in things like this. They’re worried about retaliation, or sometimes it’s because all the inconvenience that being a witness involves in terms of working with the police and the courts. Most times, it doesn’t become an issue because there are other witnesses who are willing to identify the suspects or testify.
“Unfortunately, in these circumstances, our missing witness is probably the only one who can clearly identify our suspects or at least provide a more than a basic description. The mall guard only saw the suspects for a moment before they fled, so all we have is the most basic of descriptions – two white males, one taller than the other. Not exactly narrowing down the suspect pool,” Kelly explained.
“I wonder if Jay saw anything? I left him here when I dropped my pet supplies off at the car, and it was about the time you say the attacks happened,” Nicole commented as she looked at her watch.
“What?” Kelly asked, his interest suddenly piqued. “Are you saying that we may have another possible witness?” He then reopened his notepad, clicked his ballpoint pen, and looked to Nicole expectantly.
Sarah looked to her sister with a frown. “Who’s Jay?”
Nicole ignored her. “I don’t have a real way to contact him, but he works in the mall, so you might be able to find him through the store he works at.”
“Wait a minute, how exactly do you know this Jay guy?” Sarah asked, eying Nicole with concern.
“Miss, please,” Kelly said to Sarah with an look of stern authority. He then turned back to Nicole. “Where does he work in the mall?”
“He works at the Electronics Boutique. They should be able to give you his contact information. His name is Jason Bertovich.”
Kelly stopped writing. His face screwed up in thought. He quickly flipped a few pages back on his notepad and reread some notes her made earlier. He flipped back and forth between the page he was writing on and a previous page, his frown growing as he did. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Nicole asked, confused.
“Well, he’s definitely a witness,” Kelly answered slowly.
“He is?” Nicole looked at his deepening frown and she felt a sense of foreboding. “How do you know that?” she asked, worried about what he would say next.
“Didn’t you just say the only witnesses were a young woman and the mall guard? Why are you now saying that this Jay person is also a witness?” Sarah asked, confused.
“He knows what happened, or at least he should,” Kelly said as he snapped his notepad closed and put it back into his shirt pocket. “He’s the victim.”
Nicole suddenly felt her stomach drop out from under her. “Oh… No.”
Fenny sat with her feet kicked up on her coffee table. In her left hand was a Chinese takeout carton full of chow mein. In her right hand was a pair of chopsticks. Floating next to her ear was cordless telephone, held there with her will as her hands were occupied with her dinner.
Fenny slurped a long brown noodle and swallowed with a satisfied gulp. “So after all that, he finally decided to actually call her. It looks like our little boy is growing up so fast.”
John’s voice came through the receiver. “I’m not one to usually question your judgment when it comes to relational matters, but do you think that’s a good idea. I mean, yeah, Jay might be taking his angst to extremes, but he does make some valid points.”
“I believe that, technically, they’re your valid points. He told me all about your conversation last night at White Hut,” Fenny countered.
“That may be, but whose ever points they are, they’re still valid. I still believe he’s borrowing trouble hooking up with a high school girl,” John asserted.
“If it were anyone else, I’d probably agree with you, John, but this is Jay we’re talking about. For someone who takes such delight in fucking with customers, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone shyer when it comes to the opposite sex. Frankly, I worry more about him locking himself in a chastity belt and then chaining it to a radiator than I worry about him trying to get in her pants.” Fenny said authoritatively, picking through her dinner and retrieving a crisp snow pea pod with her chopsticks.
“True, but I’m worried about him, that’s all. After you bolted the meeting on Saturday, he told me that he was feeling like his life was in a rut and that he was thinking of moving back home. I talked him down from that ledge, but I now worry that he’s pouncing on anything that represents a change in his life, whether it’s a wise decision or not.”
Fenny chewed another mouthful of chow mein contemplatively. “Yeah, I can see why’d you worry.”
“Exactly. Look, I don’t doubt that Jason’s intentions are honorable and that he wouldn’t do anything evil or whatnot. I just worry that he’ll get so focused on making a potential relationship work that he’ll lose sight on whether or not he should make it work. I’m sure she’s a nice girl and all, but they barely know each other. I worry that he’s more in love with the idea of being in love and he won’t want to face the reality if it turns out they’re a bad match.”
“Well, John, that could be said for pretty much any relationship that’s ever existed,” Fenny said thoughtfully before taking a sip from a can of soda that was now floating near her mouth.
“Ok, point taken. I’d just hate for him to make a bad mistake and find himself both hurt and/or in trouble,” John admitted.
Fenny set down her dinner and grabbed the hovering phone before standing up. She walked a circuit around the room as she spoke, “I think we both want what’s best for Jason, but ultimately it’s his life to lead, and whether we want it happen or not, he might make mistakes. All we can do is be there to help him out if he does. He’d do the same for us, right?”
“Well, yeah,” John answered.
“I think he’ll be fine. I have faith that he’ll do alright and if he stumbles, he’s got a pretty good friend to help pick him up.”
“Well, yeah, I don’t think you’d let him down,” John agreed.
Fenny chuckled. “I was talking about you, John.”
“Oh,” John said flatly. “Yeah, I guess.”
“John, is everything okay? You’ve kinda sounded off the entire call,” Fenny asked, concerned.
“Nah, I’m fine. I just haven’t been sleeping well the last few weeks,” John replied.
“Anything you want to talk about?”
There was an uncomfortable pause. “Not really,” John finally said hesitantly.
Fenny stopped her pacing. “Okay, John, but if you want to talk, I’m here. I do give non- romantic advice as well.”
“I know, Fenny. I’m just tired, that’s all. I think I’m actually going to crash now. Goodnight, Fenny.”
“Goodbye, John. Sleep well. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I got the three to close shift, same as you. See you tomorrow,” John said and then hung up.
Fenny set the phone down on her end table, flopped herself back on the couch, and returned to her dinner. She frowned. She’d have to keep an eye on John, as well as Jason.
A goddess’ work is never done.
All joking aside, she was worried about John. He’d been much more subdued the last month or so, like he was worried about something but not wanting to let on to anyone else. She really preferred to only probe people emphatically if they were seeking her help, so she’d respected John’s emotional privacy for the time being. Now, she was wondering if she could afford to hold herself back.
She also wondered if Jason had noticed anything. Then again, he could be so wrapped up in own neuroses that sometimes things went completely over his head unless you held up huge arrow-shaped sign and pointed it at the obvious.
It could be endearingly frustrating.
In any case, it was time to start wrapping up things here, she resolved with a heavy heart. Her sisters’ visit had set those wheels in motion. Soon, she would have to return to her real work, just as she promised her sisters. That couldn’t be helped. As much as she wanted to stay, her place was at the Divine Agency. She had been away longer than she really should’ve been.
Her sisters were right. If Fenny stayed away much longer, then it was going to start making problems for them, which was the last thing she wanted. Then there was the troubling fact that Task Demons and Angels were asking questions about her, which was very worrisome.
Upstairs couldn’t have known about her “bending” of the Agency rules, could they? No, of course not. If they did, they would’ve brought her in for questioning and probable reprimand. They wouldn’t waste time with questioning Sonjagaard and Jordan, right? Even if they did, it didn’t matter. Her sisters didn’t know anything about her indulgences in the mortal realm. Only one other person knew about that and they… well, they weren’t around anymore.
This was probably just some winged bureaucrat with his shorts in a knot on a power trip, trying to throw some weight around, and trying to cut down on sabbaticals or something, that’s all. She could worry about that when she got back. At least the couple extra weeks of her sabbatical she had left gave her some time to figure out what she would tell the paper pushers.
She was annoyed that she would have to waste the precious little time she had left in Holyoke on thinking about that when she should be focusing on her friends instead. She was going to miss both John and Jason. Their friendship had been an unexpected, but rather pleasant discovery when she had begun her sabbatical and she felt twinges of regret of leaving them behind so suddenly. Sadly, she admitted to herself, it had been inevitable and that was always what was going to happen the moment she adopted the two men as her friends.
The least she could was help them with their problems before she went. After all, what are friends, and more importantly goddesses, for?
Sitting on the ledge across the street from Fenny’s apartment, Ty calmly puffed on another cigarette. He removed the filter from him lips, crushed it on the stone ledge, and tossed the butt to the street below. He pulled out his crumpled pack of Morley's and frowned as he pulled the last cigarette from the pack. He’d have to pick up more tomorrow. He’d grab a fresh pack when he got his daily covert newspaper.
A squirrel with reddish-brown fur crawled along the edge of the ledge and came to a stop next to the sitting Ty. The squirrel rested on its haunches, while Ty calmly ignored him.
“We’re clear. It’s safe to talk,” the squirrel said in Scuridaeus’ voice.
Ty looked down to the small bushy-tailed rodent. “So, what’s the scoop?”
“You were right. You’re being watched,” Scuridaeus reported.
Ty cursed under his breath. “When did you catch my tail?”
“I caught him watching you when you went to the mall this afternoon. He was keeping his distance, but I could smell him. He looked like he’d been staking out the mall waiting for you to show, so I’m pretty sure he didn’t see us in the park.”
“Thank the Chairperson for small miracles,” Ty said dryly. “So who was it? A Halo?”
The squirrel shook his tiny head. “No, it was another Black Coat. Mean looking dude with a Fu Manchu beard and mustache and the long raven-black hair.”
Ty’s eye twitched slightly. “Gez.”
“Friend of yours?” Scuridaeus asked casually.
“Technically, he’s my boss. Not-so-technically, he hates my guts,” Ty answered between drags on his last cigarette.
“Oh,” Scuridaeus said dumbly. “That’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
“Crap.”
“Yeah,” Ty agreed. “So, where is he now?”
“Well, after your,” Scuridaeus paused to find the right word, “friend left the mall, with you following her, I kept a tail, no pun intended, on your tail. He observed you for a while, but eventually he broke off his pursuit. I stuck with him and followed him down a nearby alley where I saw him vanish. Knowing you guys’ M.O., I assume he went back to the agency to report in. That’s when I made my way back here.”
“Yeah, it’s a safe bet that he’s reporting back to Seraphim,” Ty mused, then frowned.
“The first angel?! Holy crap on a cracker! I didn’t know he was involved in this,” Scuridaeus said, aghast.
“He’s the one who gave me my assignment. Why?”
“I remember him from back before the Great Merger. He scares me, Ty. He really scares me,” Scuridaeus said, his tail twitching spastically.
“He scares a lot of people. Still, in the end, he’s only an angel. A powerful and well connected angel, but still only an angel and not a god himself,” Ty reassured.
“I’m not so sure that he sees things that way,” Scuridaeus whispered, as if afraid that the subject they were talking about might hear them.
Ty blinked in stunned silence. This was the first time he’d ever seen a god exhibit fear of anything other than another god. Even the weakest and least notable gods rarely exhibited fear of any kind. General fearlessness simply came with the territory of being immortal. He could only nod in understanding. “I see.” He then looked back to Scuridaeus. “We’re you able to follow him inside the mall?”
Scuridaeus rolled his beady squirrel eyes. “I’m a squirrel, Ty. I’m not exactly going to be able to walk about a crowded shopping mall as I please, and before you ask, I sure as hell was not about to expose my human guise to any risk by transforming in order to follow him. You asked me to find out if you were being watched. I was able to confirm that you are.”
Ty frowned, but nodded again. “Okay, fair enough. I did promise you that I would not expose you to any risk involving the Agency and that probably would’ve been an unacceptable risk where you were concerned. It’s just that if Gez was watching me, I need to know exactly what he saw today.”
“Why? What happened today?”
“Well, two more violations for a start. If he saw that, then she might as well put the noose around her neck. It’d save everyone some time,” Ty answered tiredly.
“Wait, wait, wait… If she broke Agency laws twice today and this guy saw it, why haven’t they swooped in and snatched her and you up? Isn’t that what the Agency does in these situations?” Scuridaeus asked, confused.
“That’s standard operating procedure, yes, but then again this whole situation has been outside the norm. It’s all ‘discretion’ and ‘observation’ and a bunch of cloak and dagger type bullshit. There’s something bigger going on here and investigating Feng Ni La’s indiscretions appears to be only be a small part of it and not the main motive.
“They’re waiting on something. I don’t know what it is, but for some reason, they can’t move in on her just yet even with the evidence they must surely have by now. ‘Why’ is the big question. That’s what I need to know,” Ty explained.
“What are you going to do now?” Scuridaeus asked.
Ty stroked his goatee in thought. “Well, I could wait for them to make the next move, which by the time they do that I might as well join Feng Ni La at the gallows. It seems that my best strategy right now is to find out exactly what they know and maybe why they haven’t acted on it.”
“How are you going to do that?”
Ty looked up to the twinkling stars in the night sky. “I need to head back to the Divine Agency and do some convert investigation of my own.”
“You’re going to sneak around the Divine Agency and try and find out why they haven’t arrested you and her yet? That sounds insane, as well as dangerous,” Scuridaeus stated, his nose still twitching nervously.
“Yep.”
“You’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?”
Ty nodded solemnly. “Yep.” He then turned and looked down at the squirrel with a grim, determined look. “Scuridaeus, I need a huge favor.”
The squirrel shrunk back on his haunches in fear. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”
“Please keep an eye on Feng Ni La while I’m away. If they try to make a move while I’m gone…” Ty then went quiet and closed his eyes.
Scuriadeus chittered worriedly. “If they make a move?”
Ty opened his eyes and looked at Scuridaeus with dead seriousness. “You need to warn her and help her get away from here as best you can.”
“Oh, hell’s bells. Just that, eh?” Scuridaeus growled, annoyed.
“You said there was no halfway when it came to things like this.”
The squirrel crossed his arms in a pout. “That’s fucking low, Ty. Using my own words against me. That’s really, really low.”
“Please,” Ty said plaintively.
The squirrel looked at the Task Demon and threw up his tiny arms in exasperation. “Fine, Ty, but after this, my debt is officially paid back. You owe me now, understand? And I plan to stay alive a very long time to collect on this debt.”
Ty nodded wearily. The last thing he needed right now was to spend an inordinate amount of time negotiating with an angry squirrel. “Deal.”
“Well, go on, get to work! I got things here,” Scuridaeus barked, annoyed.
Ty nodded, smiled in gratitude, then pushed himself off the ledge again and vanished before hitting the ground. Leaving only a squirrel sitting on a ledge to watch over a goddess who was unaware of the forces in the universe that were moving in against her.
Seraphim leaned back in his plush leather chair, steepled his fingers together, and looked across his desk. Sitting across from him was another man, or rather another Task Demon with yellow cat-like eyes and elongated canine teeth. His hair was blacker than road tar and it hung limp and lazily past his shoulders as if to seemingly complement his ridiculous Fu Manchu beard and mustache. He patiently listened as the Task Demon reported what he had observed that day.
When the Task Demon finished, Seraphim remained still. He tapped his nose a couple times with his fingered before finally speaking. “Mr. Gez, are you sure?” He asked the demon with a frown.
The demon sneered in anger. “There is no doubt. She’s gone rogue and he’s a traitor.”
“That’s a very weighty accusation to be lobbing around, Mr. Gez,” Seraphim stated seriously.
“He watched her violate the Agency law not once but twice in a single afternoon and still he’s yet to report in, despite your explicit instructions that he do so immediately should he witness such infractions. Who knows how many additional gross violations she’s committed while he just stood by and watched? He’s done nothing to alert the Agency. He’s a traitor!” Gez growled.
Seraphim nodded slightly, but remained in his relaxed position. “This is a most regrettable and unforeseen development. How do you suppose that this was possible? You swore to me that the loyalty of the Task Demons to the Agency was absolute.”
“It is,” Gez growled.
“Mr. Ty would seem to indicate otherwise,” Seraphim commented bemusedly.
“Mr. Ty will not be a Task Demon much longer. He will not be anything much longer. I will personally see to that,” Gez stated coldly.
“No,” Seraphim said dismissively.
“What?!” Gez asked, aghast.
Seraphim leaned forward in his chair and placed his clasped hands on the desk in front of him. “That would jeopardize the plan and that is unacceptable. No, Mr. Ty and Feng Ni La shall remained untouched for the moment.”
“Sir, with all due respect…” Gez stammered.
“If you had respect, you would not be speaking after I just said what we will do. The plan must always take precedence over any personal issues that you may have with Mr. Ty, is that clear Mr. Gez?” Seraphim stated icily.
“Crystal, sir,” Gez grumbled.
“Good. Now, as I said, Mr. Ty’s seeming defection creates a rather nasty monkey wrench in what has been, up to now, a plan that had been playing out exactly as designed. Feng Ni La has been a perfect candidate the last several years. Frankly, the way she’s been following our script, you’d think she was actually aware of her role. Now, our case against her was all built on the reputation of the Task Demons and if we have two conflicting reports from two different task demons, that would create some serious credibility issues. Her guilt needs to be established absolutely.”
“It is! I watched her for only four hours and in that time she not only intervened on behalf of a mortal by granting him a goddess’ blessing, but she also interfered in another mortal’s destiny by laying a curse upon him!” Gez interjected. “It was strange, though…”
“What do you mean?” Seraphim asked, bored.
“Well, per you instructions, I took one of the names of the people she’s kept close to her and took it over to the Karmic Justice Department. I did exactly what you told me to do and altered his karmic balance so that misfortune would befall him and when that happened, she would be forced to intervene on his behalf.”
“I remember my instructions, Mr. Gez. What was so strange?” Seraphim asked, tone indicating that he wanted Gez to get to his point.
“Well, Sir, she intervened on his behalf before the threads I altered could play out and the karmic punishment could be dealt. She ended up intervening on his behalf for different reason altogether. After I had taken such care to time to craft the scenario of his misfortune, it seemed like such a waste.” Gez then snickered. “Poor sap will still end up suffering his fate anyway, if he hasn’t already.”
“This is amusing, but irrelevant,” Seraphim murmured with an annoyed expression. “In any case, Mr. Ty has already reported her as innocent to us, which means he quite clearly is supporting her, for some reason. If you were to come forward with your report, what is to stop him from disputing it and, in turn, force members of the Agency to ask the uncomfortable question of why two task demons can have contradictory versions of events when they are supposedly incapable of lying. You do see the problem there, no?”
“We could eliminate him before I come forward with the report on Feng Ni La. Erase his involvement in the investigation,” Gez proposed.
Seraphim narrowed his eyes. “That’d be like amputating the entire arm when the problem is a splinter on the pinky. No, to eliminate someone like him now without it drawing any suspicion from elsewhere would require silencing several other people in the Agency and, again, that may jeopardize the plan. No, we need a more delicate approach to this problem.”
“If we hadn’t involved him in the first place, we wouldn’t have this problem,” Gez groused.
Seraphim glared at Gez. “His records made him the best candidate to lead the investigation while also allowing us to silence any skeptics as to the results. We were very careful to try and not make the investigation seem like a witch-hunt. Of course, that was all dependent on the idea that all the Task Demons were both absolutely loyal to the Agency and incapable of lying, something that you guaranteed to me was a fact. I’d watch my tongue if I were you about whose error it was.”
Gez fumed but said nothing. “Yes sir. Sorry sir,” he grumbled.
“In any case, it looks like original plan will have to undergo alterations. The quiet apprehension of Feng Ni La and her co-conspirators is now made more difficult because of Mr. Ty’s knowledge and potential for interference.”
“Co-conspirators? You mean her sisters? I don’t know if we can make that charge stick, sir. They weren’t there for her violations, and I don’t think we can connect them to her activities in the mortal realm. Frankly, they seemed oblivious to what she’s been doing.” Gez interjected again.
Seraphim smiled coldly. “Mr. Gez, once we have one rogue, we can have as many as we want. In any case, it’s my responsibility, not yours, so I’d kindly ask that you cease interrupting me until I actually ask something of you.”
Gez slumped a little in his chair, not liking the look of Seraphim’s smile. Seraphim stood up, turned away, and looked to his fresco. “Now, as I was saying. Instead of the quiet apprehension and eventual show trial, Mr. Ty’s betrayal means we may have to opt for a more showy apprehension. This will most likely speed up the plan’s timetable exponentially and there’s the risk that certain elements will then react differently than anticipated, but if the end results are the same, I am willing to go with the speedier, albeit riskier plan.” Seraphim then turned around and looked down at Gez. “Mr. Gez, I want you to put together a team of your best and most loyal Task Demons and then I want them brought before me so I can personally inspect their loyalty myself. It’s not that I don’t trust your judgment, but, recent results seem to indicate that someone needs to check up on your work.”
Gez’s eyes narrowed at the dismissive expression Seraphim was giving him, but he bit his tongue on retorting. Instead, he brought up the other matter on his mind. “And what of Ty?”
Seraphim leaned back in his seat again and smiled. “When the official account of what transpired during the apprehension of the rogue goddess Feng Ni La is presented, Mr. Ty will be listed as a loyal member of your apprehension squad, who, tragically, was slain by the rogue goddess and her co-conspirators . That will leave the only official account of the investigation of Feng NI La’s violations being that of the lead investigator – you. That should adequately belie any suspicions about his unfortunate demise.”
“Excellent,” Gez said with a smile. “I just ask that when the time comes, I am allowed to give that traitor what he deserves. “
The faintest of smiles formed on Seraphim’s lips. “Mr. Gez, if the plan succeeds, everyone will get what they deserve. Now, please leave and choose your team. I have other matters to attend to. I need to meet with R & D.”
“Are the prototypes ready?” Gez asked, hopeful.
“Yes. It would seem that your apprehension mission will be the first real chance to field test them. Now go,” Seraphim said, mildly annoyed.
Gez got up and left Seraphim’s office. Seraphim sat back down in his chair, leaned back slightly and closed his eyes. After a few minutes of silent thought, he got up and walked to the window. Outside the window, he could see the sunrise, its brilliant golden light reflecting off the famed Taj Mahal.
There was a light knock at the door. Seraphim turned toward the sound. “Yes?”
The door opened a crack and the Dryad receptionist peered in. “Sir, I have those personnel files from the Karmic Justice Department you asked for.”
Seraphim smiled at the frail feminine creature. “Excellent. Please leave them on my desk.”
The Dryad quickly rushed over to the oak monstrosity, laid the stack of file folders on it, and then quickly walked back out, closing the door with barely an audible click of the latch.
Seraphim returned his attention to the view. He would look at the folders in a little while. It was possible that they wouldn’t even be necessary, but still, he hadn’t come this far without being able to plan ahead. It was good to have a plan and in Seraphim’s case, he believed it was good to have at least four plans at all times. There was The Plan, The Backup Plan, then The Backup’s Backup, and finally his Ace in the Hole.
The folders represented his new Backup’s Backup, an idea he began to formulate when it looked as if Ty was going to complicate his original plan. It was a riskier notion for sure, but if he could find the right candidate, it could prove fruitful, especially if the revised plan’s timetable was accelerated.
That, however, could wait for a bit. Right now, Seraphim felt good and he wanted to savor the feeling of satisfaction he was experiencing in his ancient soul. This was a good moment. He started chuckling to himself. Eventually, the chuckling turned into full-blown joyous laughter.
After patiently waiting many years, and despite all the unforeseen complications, phase two of Operation Titan had finally begun.
To be continued in part 4...
Author’s Notes, Credits, Gratitude, and Apologies
Well, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Well, not since the last time I spoke to you, that was just a few days ago when Matt put Boy Scouts ½ in Japan, part 8 on the site, but it has been awhile since a new chapter in the Perspectives Reboot has made its way to you. A little over two years, to be exact. So, um, how you been? Oh, good. And the family? That's great. Glad to hear it.
Okay, let’s get the credits and disclaimers out of the way, shall we? Seraphim, Nicole & Sarah Porter, Taylor Kuntz, and any other characters first appearing in Boy Scouts ½ not based on real people were more likely than not to have been created by Matt Atanian. Jordan, Sonjagaard, Ty, Gez, Scuridaeus, the (still) unnamed racists, Ms. Larch the Dryad Receptionist, Trooper Kelly, and any other characters first appearing in Perspectives not based on real people were created by Jason Bertovich. Jason Bertovich, John Hoelscher, and Fenny Lin are based on real people though the portrayal of their personalities and actions in these stories is not based on real life or real life events. David is loosely based off a former co-worker of mine from my days at Waldenbooks named Gary. Not vital you know that, but I thought he was a great guy.
Obvious Disclaimer – any offensive language and/or racial slurs made by characters named or unnamed are not meant to demean, insult, or denigrate anyone or any group in real life and should only be taken in the context of the story and the characters. The author and the publisher do not condone the use of such derogatory terms in real life.
Special Thanks to Martha Wadley for her input on my drafts for this story as well as when I was creating the character Scuridaeus. Her works were a direct inspiration for him and they should be acknowledged as generally being wonderful stories. I originally created these scenes after she had written part 2 of To Conquer the World, and this story was supposed to be his first appearance after I asked Martha for permission to create a character with potential ties to Martha and her cadre of fluffy-tailed loyalists. Her input on Martha's squirrels was invaluable and after a few rewrites, she seemed to really like the concept of the unworshipped squirrel god. Indeed, she appreciated him enough to give him a cameo in part 3 of the before-mentioned Conquer which ended up being his first official appearance. Just the way the stories got published, but if you liked Scuridaeus and haven't read Martha's contributions to the BS½ Universe yet, then do so. Now.
As for poor Scuridaeus... If only he knew how easy it actually is for squirrels to walk about a shopping mall without drawing attention.
As always, a great big thanks to my wonderful editrix and wife, Sarah, for her help with getting me from first draft to second draft to rewrites and then, eventually, to the final version. As I said in the notes for Boy Scouts ½ in Japan, part 8, she wrote a book herself. It's awesome. She's awesome. Give her your money.
Thanks to Matt for his input and his (many, many, MANY) notes, as well as for his hospitality when Sarah and I came up to visit him and his significant other, Rachel, in Springfield prior to New Years 2014. Finally, I have actual visuals of the real Springfield, Holyoke, and Northampton to mentally use as I pen further stories. It was a wonderful experience and we very much look forward to a future visit up north and east, especially if future visits include that wonderful Russian tea house (seriously, those farm cheese pancakes were fantastic) and that fantastic donut shop. Yes, when I travel, I make it a point to eat as much local fare as possible.
And now, some relevant story notes...
The Goddesses – When I originally conceived of the idea of making Fenny an actual divine goddess with goddess sisters in the original version of Part 3, it was an idea I never really gave too much forethought, which I think hampered what I ultimately could do with them in terms of story and character development in later stories.
It was an element of Perspectives, along with the Divine Agency itself, which I very much wanted to address and rectify with this reboot. I now have a clear (or at least clearer) picture of who all these characters are, what their roles in this story will be, and how they relate to each other as well as with the world around them.
However, as part of the clarification process, these characters did undergo some changes from their original portrayals in the first version of this tale, as well as some name changes. I must admit that I gave little or no thought to the original names I gave these characters, mainly just taking the real names of the people they were (roughly) based on and trying to “exotify” them so they sounded godly.
Now, that I have a better idea of who exactly these goddess characters are, what their roles in creation are, and where they came from, I decided that it was time to give them names that better suited their characters, whilst still retaining some connection to the original version. Thus, Jordiko is now Jordan, Sonyarina is Sonjagaard, and Fenira is Feng Ni La.
Luckily, as these characters have never been referenced in the Main Series by their goddess names, it means that any drastic ret-conning of those stories wasn’t necessary (something I’m sure Matt was grateful to hear). It also further shows that Version 1.0 and 2.0 are in themselves separate universes, but both fit within the main Boy Scouts ½ Universe. Does that mean anything? Maybe, possibly.
Seraphim – Seraphim is a character created by Matt that originally made his first appearance in Byte II (Version 1.0). Him, alongside his other creation Linoleum (Lina Wells), were two elements from Matt’s contributions to Perspectives that I absolutely adored and when it came time to do the reboot, I very much wanted to make their presence in the whole story much more pronounced.
Seraphim’s original appearances were left somewhat vague in Matt’s stories, only really stating that he was an Angel, so I don’t doubt my interpretation of the character is somewhat different from what Matt was imagining when he created the character.
Soundtracks from the Food Court Part 3:
First off, if you haven’t already seen (or rather heard), there’s an “official” OST for Perspectives 2.0 Byte I over in the Soundtrack section that you should check out. Matt did a great job helping with getting it up on the ol’ YouTube. While the soundtracks that appear in the Soundtrack section will tend to skew along more general themes, each story will still have an individual soundtrack that will include much more scene specific music. I'm a touch lazy at the moment about hunting down YouTube links for these songs, but I wanted to at least provide the titles and sources for this chapter's soundtrack. Maybe when I get a free moment in the future, I'll work with Matt on providing a audio/video method of enjoying it.
(Hello! Matt interjecting here for a moment! Jason may be a touch lazy at the moment, but allow me to pick up the slack. If I can find any online videos that look like the songs that Jason has listed, I'll include a link to the video. Looks like I've been able to find most of them; only the two tracks sourced from Bakuretsu Hunters seem to have aluded me. As always with these Perspectives Soundtrack lists, these are other peoples' videos, so if the videos ever go away that is out of our control. If you come across such a broken link, feel free to contact us to let us know.)
1. Our Story So Far… (“Careless Talk” from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy film OST by Joey Talbot)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch7MIV-_4Mo)
2. Ty’s Theme (“There is no reward for a winner” from R.O.D. the TV OST 2 by Taku Iwasaki)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofORfaspgXI)
3. Seraphim’s Theme (“Ame no ato niwa hana ga saku [Please show me the way]” from Slayers Next Sound Bible II by Tezuka Osamu)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDkq_o4BiZE)
4. Fenny’s Apartment (“Anita, 12 years-old” from R.O.D. the TV OST 2 by Taku Iwasaki)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92DOb07Z38g)
5. Sorting Through Angelic Bullshit (“Stories – Uneasiness” from Project Justice OST by Yamamoto Setsuo & Yuki Iwai)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWk_wo6mT5g)
6. Ty in the Park (“A town that stepped on me and a town I stepped on“ from R.O.D. the TV OST 2 by Taku Iwasaki)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDs_Vzn3cuA)
7. Goddess Advice Helpline (“Cynical Pink” from Trigun: The First Donuts by Tsuneo Imahori)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrM8FcxdypM)
8. The Curse of Feng Ni La (“Furete Hanaranu” from Genshiken OST [Disc 2 – Kotteri Side] by Masanori Takumi)
(http://www.myvideo.de/watch/6114444/Genshiken_OST_27_Furete_Hanaranu)
9. Jay’s Walkin’ on Air (“Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U)
10. Family Visit (“Kanojo wa Enjeeru” from Bakuretsu Hunters OST 2 by Kawai Kenji)
11. Parking Lot Fight, Round 1 – The Fantasy (“Rumble” from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World Film Score by Nigel Godrich)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj_0N0XxiAw)
12. Parking Lot Fight, Round 2 – The Reality (“Fast Entrance into Hell” from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World Film Score by Nigel Godrich)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcPW9hTuOFs)
13. Smoothie Talk (“Smile” from Genshiken OST [Disc 1 – Mattari Side] by Masanori Takumi
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcShodYMAqw)
14. Crime Scene (“Wild Violins/Sickness/Idea” from Airplane! Original Soundtrack by Elmer Bernstein)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95JjV9mYudg)
15. Ty on the Ledge/He Really Scares Me/No Halfway (“Dairyuujin Kurono Doragon” from Bakuretsu Hunters OST 2 by Kawai Kenji)
16. Operation: Titan, Phase 2 (“After all, I think it is a strange name” from Excel Saga Great Soundtrack by Masuda Toshio)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVFVY8PsYeo)
The Future:
Ah, that's a loaded header, ain't it? What's in store for the near future from me? Well, that's kinda complicated. After I finished the revised draft of Perspectives III, I did start on writing the beginning of Perspectives IV. However, I did that before a lot of things changed for me.
Currently, I'm engaged in a non-universe project. It's something I've worked on and off on for a few years and in the last two months, I've made enough serious progress on it, that I know I need to see it to completion. Unfortunately, that also means that it's gonna be the project that's gonna get almost all my attention for most likely the next year or more and that's a generous timetable. Ergo, that means, I'm not going to be able to invest large portions of time toward other projects. This could change, but I want to be honest about it, so I'm not gonna promise when Part IV will be completed, other than it will be completed some day.
So, does that mean you won't be hearing from me again for the next year or more? Maybe, but probably not. During the time period that elapsed since I originally completed Perspectives III, I actually penned quite a few stories in Matt's Universe. The before-mentioned Boy Scouts ½ in Japan, part 8 was actually the most recently one written. Another was the sequel/completion to a story which I shall never speak of again. After them, Matt has two other stories of mine and I suppose if he feels inclined, may decide to share them. One is a standalone OVA-esque story featuring Kenny and Becker in a return to the Labortory, and the other is a follow-up tale about members of the Samuel Clemens High Anime Club, who appeared during the In Japan: Origins trilogy.
Crap. Y'know, I don't mean to make these notes that long, but they just kinda get away from me. Anyway, thanks for taking the (extreme) amount of time it probably took to read this story and subsequent notes. I'll hand the proverbial mic over to Matt and let him say have his say on all this.
Okay, let’s get the credits and disclaimers out of the way, shall we? Seraphim, Nicole & Sarah Porter, Taylor Kuntz, and any other characters first appearing in Boy Scouts ½ not based on real people were more likely than not to have been created by Matt Atanian. Jordan, Sonjagaard, Ty, Gez, Scuridaeus, the (still) unnamed racists, Ms. Larch the Dryad Receptionist, Trooper Kelly, and any other characters first appearing in Perspectives not based on real people were created by Jason Bertovich. Jason Bertovich, John Hoelscher, and Fenny Lin are based on real people though the portrayal of their personalities and actions in these stories is not based on real life or real life events. David is loosely based off a former co-worker of mine from my days at Waldenbooks named Gary. Not vital you know that, but I thought he was a great guy.
Obvious Disclaimer – any offensive language and/or racial slurs made by characters named or unnamed are not meant to demean, insult, or denigrate anyone or any group in real life and should only be taken in the context of the story and the characters. The author and the publisher do not condone the use of such derogatory terms in real life.
Special Thanks to Martha Wadley for her input on my drafts for this story as well as when I was creating the character Scuridaeus. Her works were a direct inspiration for him and they should be acknowledged as generally being wonderful stories. I originally created these scenes after she had written part 2 of To Conquer the World, and this story was supposed to be his first appearance after I asked Martha for permission to create a character with potential ties to Martha and her cadre of fluffy-tailed loyalists. Her input on Martha's squirrels was invaluable and after a few rewrites, she seemed to really like the concept of the unworshipped squirrel god. Indeed, she appreciated him enough to give him a cameo in part 3 of the before-mentioned Conquer which ended up being his first official appearance. Just the way the stories got published, but if you liked Scuridaeus and haven't read Martha's contributions to the BS½ Universe yet, then do so. Now.
As for poor Scuridaeus... If only he knew how easy it actually is for squirrels to walk about a shopping mall without drawing attention.
As always, a great big thanks to my wonderful editrix and wife, Sarah, for her help with getting me from first draft to second draft to rewrites and then, eventually, to the final version. As I said in the notes for Boy Scouts ½ in Japan, part 8, she wrote a book herself. It's awesome. She's awesome. Give her your money.
Thanks to Matt for his input and his (many, many, MANY) notes, as well as for his hospitality when Sarah and I came up to visit him and his significant other, Rachel, in Springfield prior to New Years 2014. Finally, I have actual visuals of the real Springfield, Holyoke, and Northampton to mentally use as I pen further stories. It was a wonderful experience and we very much look forward to a future visit up north and east, especially if future visits include that wonderful Russian tea house (seriously, those farm cheese pancakes were fantastic) and that fantastic donut shop. Yes, when I travel, I make it a point to eat as much local fare as possible.
And now, some relevant story notes...
The Goddesses – When I originally conceived of the idea of making Fenny an actual divine goddess with goddess sisters in the original version of Part 3, it was an idea I never really gave too much forethought, which I think hampered what I ultimately could do with them in terms of story and character development in later stories.
It was an element of Perspectives, along with the Divine Agency itself, which I very much wanted to address and rectify with this reboot. I now have a clear (or at least clearer) picture of who all these characters are, what their roles in this story will be, and how they relate to each other as well as with the world around them.
However, as part of the clarification process, these characters did undergo some changes from their original portrayals in the first version of this tale, as well as some name changes. I must admit that I gave little or no thought to the original names I gave these characters, mainly just taking the real names of the people they were (roughly) based on and trying to “exotify” them so they sounded godly.
Now, that I have a better idea of who exactly these goddess characters are, what their roles in creation are, and where they came from, I decided that it was time to give them names that better suited their characters, whilst still retaining some connection to the original version. Thus, Jordiko is now Jordan, Sonyarina is Sonjagaard, and Fenira is Feng Ni La.
Luckily, as these characters have never been referenced in the Main Series by their goddess names, it means that any drastic ret-conning of those stories wasn’t necessary (something I’m sure Matt was grateful to hear). It also further shows that Version 1.0 and 2.0 are in themselves separate universes, but both fit within the main Boy Scouts ½ Universe. Does that mean anything? Maybe, possibly.
Seraphim – Seraphim is a character created by Matt that originally made his first appearance in Byte II (Version 1.0). Him, alongside his other creation Linoleum (Lina Wells), were two elements from Matt’s contributions to Perspectives that I absolutely adored and when it came time to do the reboot, I very much wanted to make their presence in the whole story much more pronounced.
Seraphim’s original appearances were left somewhat vague in Matt’s stories, only really stating that he was an Angel, so I don’t doubt my interpretation of the character is somewhat different from what Matt was imagining when he created the character.
Soundtracks from the Food Court Part 3:
First off, if you haven’t already seen (or rather heard), there’s an “official” OST for Perspectives 2.0 Byte I over in the Soundtrack section that you should check out. Matt did a great job helping with getting it up on the ol’ YouTube. While the soundtracks that appear in the Soundtrack section will tend to skew along more general themes, each story will still have an individual soundtrack that will include much more scene specific music. I'm a touch lazy at the moment about hunting down YouTube links for these songs, but I wanted to at least provide the titles and sources for this chapter's soundtrack. Maybe when I get a free moment in the future, I'll work with Matt on providing a audio/video method of enjoying it.
(Hello! Matt interjecting here for a moment! Jason may be a touch lazy at the moment, but allow me to pick up the slack. If I can find any online videos that look like the songs that Jason has listed, I'll include a link to the video. Looks like I've been able to find most of them; only the two tracks sourced from Bakuretsu Hunters seem to have aluded me. As always with these Perspectives Soundtrack lists, these are other peoples' videos, so if the videos ever go away that is out of our control. If you come across such a broken link, feel free to contact us to let us know.)
1. Our Story So Far… (“Careless Talk” from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy film OST by Joey Talbot)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch7MIV-_4Mo)
2. Ty’s Theme (“There is no reward for a winner” from R.O.D. the TV OST 2 by Taku Iwasaki)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofORfaspgXI)
3. Seraphim’s Theme (“Ame no ato niwa hana ga saku [Please show me the way]” from Slayers Next Sound Bible II by Tezuka Osamu)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDkq_o4BiZE)
4. Fenny’s Apartment (“Anita, 12 years-old” from R.O.D. the TV OST 2 by Taku Iwasaki)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92DOb07Z38g)
5. Sorting Through Angelic Bullshit (“Stories – Uneasiness” from Project Justice OST by Yamamoto Setsuo & Yuki Iwai)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWk_wo6mT5g)
6. Ty in the Park (“A town that stepped on me and a town I stepped on“ from R.O.D. the TV OST 2 by Taku Iwasaki)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDs_Vzn3cuA)
7. Goddess Advice Helpline (“Cynical Pink” from Trigun: The First Donuts by Tsuneo Imahori)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrM8FcxdypM)
8. The Curse of Feng Ni La (“Furete Hanaranu” from Genshiken OST [Disc 2 – Kotteri Side] by Masanori Takumi)
(http://www.myvideo.de/watch/6114444/Genshiken_OST_27_Furete_Hanaranu)
9. Jay’s Walkin’ on Air (“Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U)
10. Family Visit (“Kanojo wa Enjeeru” from Bakuretsu Hunters OST 2 by Kawai Kenji)
11. Parking Lot Fight, Round 1 – The Fantasy (“Rumble” from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World Film Score by Nigel Godrich)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj_0N0XxiAw)
12. Parking Lot Fight, Round 2 – The Reality (“Fast Entrance into Hell” from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World Film Score by Nigel Godrich)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcPW9hTuOFs)
13. Smoothie Talk (“Smile” from Genshiken OST [Disc 1 – Mattari Side] by Masanori Takumi
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcShodYMAqw)
14. Crime Scene (“Wild Violins/Sickness/Idea” from Airplane! Original Soundtrack by Elmer Bernstein)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95JjV9mYudg)
15. Ty on the Ledge/He Really Scares Me/No Halfway (“Dairyuujin Kurono Doragon” from Bakuretsu Hunters OST 2 by Kawai Kenji)
16. Operation: Titan, Phase 2 (“After all, I think it is a strange name” from Excel Saga Great Soundtrack by Masuda Toshio)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVFVY8PsYeo)
The Future:
Ah, that's a loaded header, ain't it? What's in store for the near future from me? Well, that's kinda complicated. After I finished the revised draft of Perspectives III, I did start on writing the beginning of Perspectives IV. However, I did that before a lot of things changed for me.
Currently, I'm engaged in a non-universe project. It's something I've worked on and off on for a few years and in the last two months, I've made enough serious progress on it, that I know I need to see it to completion. Unfortunately, that also means that it's gonna be the project that's gonna get almost all my attention for most likely the next year or more and that's a generous timetable. Ergo, that means, I'm not going to be able to invest large portions of time toward other projects. This could change, but I want to be honest about it, so I'm not gonna promise when Part IV will be completed, other than it will be completed some day.
So, does that mean you won't be hearing from me again for the next year or more? Maybe, but probably not. During the time period that elapsed since I originally completed Perspectives III, I actually penned quite a few stories in Matt's Universe. The before-mentioned Boy Scouts ½ in Japan, part 8 was actually the most recently one written. Another was the sequel/completion to a story which I shall never speak of again. After them, Matt has two other stories of mine and I suppose if he feels inclined, may decide to share them. One is a standalone OVA-esque story featuring Kenny and Becker in a return to the Labortory, and the other is a follow-up tale about members of the Samuel Clemens High Anime Club, who appeared during the In Japan: Origins trilogy.
Crap. Y'know, I don't mean to make these notes that long, but they just kinda get away from me. Anyway, thanks for taking the (extreme) amount of time it probably took to read this story and subsequent notes. I'll hand the proverbial mic over to Matt and let him say have his say on all this.
Matt's Turn at the Mic
Honestly, I don't have much more to add at this point, other than to thank Jason for this story, apologize for how bloody long I sat on it before actually getting around to putting it online, wish him luck with the other project he is working on at the moment, and assure him that he is welcome to deliver Perspectives IV whenever life gives him the opportunity.
Thanks, Jason!
Thanks, Jason!