THE AUTHORS OF
PRESENT:
by Matthew Atanian and Michael D. Quadrozzi
©2000, 2013 by Matthew Atanian and Michael D. Quadrozzi
Boy Scouts ½ created by Matthew Atanian
©2000, 2013 by Matthew Atanian and Michael D. Quadrozzi
Boy Scouts ½ created by Matthew Atanian
Ranma Saotome woke up early one morning, pulled out a gun, walked over to Nabiki’s room, and shot her in the head for no real good reason. He didn’t even owe her any money. Soun was the only one who seemed to care, and did quite a lot of crying, but even he had forgotten about it by the time that Kasumi had breakfast upon the table.
“Oh, thank you, Kasumi, dear,” Genma said, greedily eyeing the feast. “You’ve out done yourself yet again!”
“Shut up, you fat, freeloading bastard!” Kasumi snapped with her typical morning cheer.
Akane suddenly stuck her tongue into Ranma’s ear. “What’d you do that for?” Ranma snapped. He slapped Akane hard, bruising her cheek.
“Ranma!” Soun shouted. “Is that any way to treat my Akane?!?!”
Ranma steeled himself for the terror that was about to come.
Soun continued. “She’ll never learn not to stick her tongue in your ear if you just give her that little love tap!” With that, he pulled back his arm, made a fist, and with all the might that years of martial arts training had given him, he broke his youngest daughter’s nose and knocked her unconscious.
“Yo, daddy! Watch it!” Kasumi exclaimed. “Who the hell do you think has to clean up that blood?!”
Suddenly, Kasumi threw a bucket of cold water on to the floor, to get the blood before it stained the floor. Some of the water bounced off of the floor and hit Ranma, turning him into a her.
Happosai appeared out of nowhere. He walked up to Ranma and extended his hand in a warm, friendly manor.
“Good morning, young Saotome,” he said with impeccable politeness. “Oh, my. Kasumi seems to have gotten you wet. Here.” Happosai offered Ranma a thermos full of hot water.
“Thanks, old man,” Ranma said, as she prepared to dump the thermos onto herself.
Suddenly, a voice called out, “My pig-tailed goddess, I would date with you!” Ranma looked up to see Kuno running towards her, his arms outstretched.
Ranma considered Akane on the floor, her broken nose destroying her once beautiful features. He looked briefly around the dojo. It wasn’t much of a dojo, as Ranma never once remembered it having a student since she and her father arrived. Kuno, on the other hand, was rich and stupid. Ranma made up her mind.
“Kuno!” She exclaimed, and he came to a sudden stop a few feet away from the pig-tailed one. “I will date with you, but there is something you must
know!” And with that, she dumped the thermos onto herself.
Ranma – male Ranma –- looked at Kuno. Kuno looked at Ranma. Kuno blinked.
Ranma held out his arms. Kuno jumped lovingly into them, and the two fell into a deep, passionate embrace.
“My pig-tailed one, at last you’re mine!” Kuno said with glee.
“Oh, thank you, Kasumi, dear,” Genma said, greedily eyeing the feast. “You’ve out done yourself yet again!”
“Shut up, you fat, freeloading bastard!” Kasumi snapped with her typical morning cheer.
Akane suddenly stuck her tongue into Ranma’s ear. “What’d you do that for?” Ranma snapped. He slapped Akane hard, bruising her cheek.
“Ranma!” Soun shouted. “Is that any way to treat my Akane?!?!”
Ranma steeled himself for the terror that was about to come.
Soun continued. “She’ll never learn not to stick her tongue in your ear if you just give her that little love tap!” With that, he pulled back his arm, made a fist, and with all the might that years of martial arts training had given him, he broke his youngest daughter’s nose and knocked her unconscious.
“Yo, daddy! Watch it!” Kasumi exclaimed. “Who the hell do you think has to clean up that blood?!”
Suddenly, Kasumi threw a bucket of cold water on to the floor, to get the blood before it stained the floor. Some of the water bounced off of the floor and hit Ranma, turning him into a her.
Happosai appeared out of nowhere. He walked up to Ranma and extended his hand in a warm, friendly manor.
“Good morning, young Saotome,” he said with impeccable politeness. “Oh, my. Kasumi seems to have gotten you wet. Here.” Happosai offered Ranma a thermos full of hot water.
“Thanks, old man,” Ranma said, as she prepared to dump the thermos onto herself.
Suddenly, a voice called out, “My pig-tailed goddess, I would date with you!” Ranma looked up to see Kuno running towards her, his arms outstretched.
Ranma considered Akane on the floor, her broken nose destroying her once beautiful features. He looked briefly around the dojo. It wasn’t much of a dojo, as Ranma never once remembered it having a student since she and her father arrived. Kuno, on the other hand, was rich and stupid. Ranma made up her mind.
“Kuno!” She exclaimed, and he came to a sudden stop a few feet away from the pig-tailed one. “I will date with you, but there is something you must
know!” And with that, she dumped the thermos onto herself.
Ranma – male Ranma –- looked at Kuno. Kuno looked at Ranma. Kuno blinked.
Ranma held out his arms. Kuno jumped lovingly into them, and the two fell into a deep, passionate embrace.
“My pig-tailed one, at last you’re mine!” Kuno said with glee.
Matt's Notes & Disclaimers
Well, this is a weird one. Anyway, welcome to the first new piece of content on the Weebly incarnation of the Boy Scouts ½ website!
So where did this come from? Well, I was looking through an old external hard drive I had. Most of what is on it is stuff I already have handy elsewhere, or stuff I have no real use for. One random thing I came across was some photos of myself with a bunny I used to have... He was a cute bugger.
So where did this come from? Well, I was looking through an old external hard drive I had. Most of what is on it is stuff I already have handy elsewhere, or stuff I have no real use for. One random thing I came across was some photos of myself with a bunny I used to have... He was a cute bugger.
Dwaaa... Cute bunny! His name was Luggage. Jessi kept him in the break-up (which is fair, as getting him was her idea in the first place) and he has since passed away, but I do miss that fluffy bugger on occasion.
Anyway, another thing I came across was a Word document, dated 15 March 2000, titled, "WORSTFIC.doc." What is this? I thought as I clicked on it. I was rather surprised when it opened and I came across a story that I have no memory of... The Worst Ranma ½ Fanfic Ever! by myself and Michael D. Quadrozzi.
I read it... and boy, did it live up to its title! Of course, given the title, I should think it did so intentionally. Still, it is a piece of hitherto unknown writing, co-authored by Mike Quadrozzi, so I knew I had to share it with the world!
I do wish I could remember the circumstances of its writing... Of course, to remember that, I'd suppose I'd have had to have remembered it existed in the first place! If I had to guess, however, I would suppose that Mike and I alternated every paragraph or two, trying to out-bad each other, until one of us decided to lead it towards some Ranma / Kuno yaoi... and at that point, I suppose we decided it couldn't get much worse.
Anyway, Ranma ½ and associated characters were created by Takahashi Rumiko.
Hope you enjoyed the first piece of fiction to be making its original debut on this website!
--Matthew Atanian, 18 April 2013
Anyway, another thing I came across was a Word document, dated 15 March 2000, titled, "WORSTFIC.doc." What is this? I thought as I clicked on it. I was rather surprised when it opened and I came across a story that I have no memory of... The Worst Ranma ½ Fanfic Ever! by myself and Michael D. Quadrozzi.
I read it... and boy, did it live up to its title! Of course, given the title, I should think it did so intentionally. Still, it is a piece of hitherto unknown writing, co-authored by Mike Quadrozzi, so I knew I had to share it with the world!
I do wish I could remember the circumstances of its writing... Of course, to remember that, I'd suppose I'd have had to have remembered it existed in the first place! If I had to guess, however, I would suppose that Mike and I alternated every paragraph or two, trying to out-bad each other, until one of us decided to lead it towards some Ranma / Kuno yaoi... and at that point, I suppose we decided it couldn't get much worse.
Anyway, Ranma ½ and associated characters were created by Takahashi Rumiko.
Hope you enjoyed the first piece of fiction to be making its original debut on this website!
--Matthew Atanian, 18 April 2013